Marriage & Divorce - 1 November 2007

When a guy says that he "falls hard and fast" what does it mean? Is it that he's in it a short time only, and that he will leave once he gets what he wants?
I met this guy 7 months ago in a club and although we talk on the phone a lot we have only seen each other twice since we live a couple of hours away. At the beginning, he contacted a friend of mine to get my #, saying he cared about me etc. My friend gave me his # but as I was skeptical at first, I took some time to call back. And so this friendship/relationship developed. I believe he really wants to be in a relationship bad and the distance I think may be an issue for him since he keeps saying that he wants to spend time with me and " wake up with me in the morning and serve me tea". Is it just lust or infatuation on his part? I really like him, but not sure what to do now.

2007-11-01 18:43:23 · 7 answers · asked by Cafe au lait 2

I have been contemplating separating from my husband for several months now, but keep saying, "I'll just give it one more try." or "He's trying. Maybe it'll work out." The truth is, I'm afraid of him. He's never hit my kids or me, but I sometimes find myself cringing because I think he might. He throws things, punches holes in doors and walls, yells, and swears constantly in his everyday conversations. He's nearly hit our children with objects he throws. His outbursts are like temper tantrums, and his mood swings are unpredictable. I often feel belittled. His comments to and about me are often derogatory and degrading, even to people I've never even met before. His behavior has greatly changed in the last few years. I am to the point I just want out, but am afraid that he will retaliate. He has told be half a dozen times to pack my stuff and leave, but never mentions what will happen to our children. I keep telling myself that maybe it's just me, I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

2007-11-01 18:23:40 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a married man of 12 yrs, & have 3kids. My wife is an emotional wreck & is always up & down. She is great with the kids one day & then is screaming at them the next. I am constantly playing referee between them. I have a very close relationship with my children but have lost all interest in my wife as a result. Counselling doesnt seem to change things either.

I have a very good married female friend at work. We talk about absolutely everything. We are extremely close but have never done anything physical together (although office rumours say otherwise). I like her so much that I wouldn't want us to have an affair as I would want her to be a complete part of my life not something I have to hide from the world.

I think about leaving my wife but am afraid that she will take her problems out my kids without me there to protect them. Single dads dont usually get 100% custody.

What should I do?

2007-11-01 18:20:17 · 10 answers · asked by Out of my mind 1

Hi, what are the chances of a marriage to work out when the guy had divorce twice by now and had children with his 2 ex wives. My cousin is suppose to marry a guy like that and we are only hoping it can work out.

2007-11-01 18:19:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

i am an indian. in india we have so many custons.i belongs to hindu community,24y back i married same religion and other cast. now i am facing so many problems.my in-laws family ignoring me all the time they are teazing me why because they belongs to brahmin family ,i am in 2nd catogiry.my childrens are 22y old age ,any one tell me how many days i bare this.my husband also changed, recently i lost my mother.many problems,for relaxation where should i go. all ways i am thinking myself except my children no body is there for me.

2007-11-01 18:17:52 · 3 answers · asked by mani r 3

can a good marrage survive after one goes out. on the one that has remained faitful all throught it no matter how.when the one who has cheated.and told her.children she had the affair with her own home while every one was away. from the home .an having .4.children ages range from.11. to. 19. years old t.boys. two. girls the childrens age as well a husband who filed for divorce can this ever work out. at all when she.s in her.40.s and fooling around with a man in his late teen.s and tryig to tell her children it was a axxident as to having a sexual affair with who she cheated with .does this woman think her family is that stupid to belive it was a axxident

2007-11-01 17:57:23 · 14 answers · asked by matthew v 3

comes up to you and say "your so cute" like i know her we say high a couple of times but never like a full fledged conversation im 17 it wasnt said in a sarcastic way either

2007-11-01 17:56:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-01 17:44:56 · 26 answers · asked by dolphinsfan 2

My self-esteem is very low and has been for the past couple of years. I have been married for a little over 3 years. We have had our ups and downs, but my husband has cheated on me twice. He also has a porn addiction. I already had low self-esteem, but this made it hit rock bottom. I feel worthless. I feel that no matter what I do he doesn't want me and neither does anybody else. I am overweight for my height and can't seem to get the motiviation to exercise and get some of it off. I have stayed in this marriage 1) because I do love my husband, 2) because I feel that he has the potential to be a good man, 3) because I have little to no self-esteem. I am not ugly, but I just don't feel like the woman I used to be. Besides that, he treats his mother with more respect that he does his own wife -- and that is no lie. I am always bending over backwards trying to do things to make him like me, but they are always short-lived.

How can I rebuild my self-esteem?

2007-11-01 17:44:46 · 13 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4

I am married to a wonderful woman and have a beautiful family. I am becoming friends with a lady at work, probably the first real female friend I have had at work since I started. My line of work can be isolating at times and so I really enjoy conversation and an ocassional lunch with this person. We have a lot in common and a lot to talk about. We are probably equals in a lot of ways and that is why I think we connected. I wonder if there is a potential of turning into something unplatonic. I wouldn't initiate or want something like that. I know it would be too painful and destructive. Has this happened to you? I do not want that to happen. How do I keep myself out of trouble. Are we both just pretending that we can just be friends? Should I just give her the cold shoulder.

2007-11-01 17:40:01 · 10 answers · asked by wakefullife 2

i can't leave on emotion.i want to make sure i have a place lined up and so on.
i really need help on staying in control and stick to my choice.not to give in again in other words because he wants to be nice now.i cry easy.he disrespects me and it hurts.tips please.advice?experience anything?please.

2007-11-01 17:32:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 months. Last week he said he had to go check his email, so I walked in the room to say hi and on the screen was an email from his newly married ex-girlfriend. He quickly cleared it off the screen and when I asked him what it was, he said it was nothing and acted strangely. I asked to see the email and he said he deleted it. I have a problem with this because she was calling him last year after we broke off our engagement, and he lied and said he didn't know who it was and refused to answer it when I was around. I ended up sending a text message to what I thought was her cell phone # and it ended up being her husband's. He asked why I was texting her and I explained that she was emailing my husband. He then got mad at me and said that I was jealous. She also called my husband later that week, but didn't leave a message. I am not jealous, but upset that they were talking behind my back. Please help!

2007-11-01 17:24:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

there are a lil ""fire". I think about my ex alot even more then my boyfriend. Well ill tell you the story.,.,., i met this very cute guy (my ex) and we pretty much hitted it off right away. He asked me out, and i said yes but im not going to lie i cant stay with one guy you can call me a **** but who cares. About 4 or 5 mos i cheated on him (he was away) I told him and we broke it off for a lil (2 mos) He started to date this girl. But we were still having phone sex and ****,,,When i told him that i wanted him back so i broke it off with her,, (thats what he said bit not true. We want back out untill i got on his myspace and sew that she wrote to him, so i got pissed and ended it! So about 2 mos. after that we went out agian but i cheated on him like 4 or 5 times. His mom hates me she kicked him out and now he living with a friend (girl) and her mom & dad. But he talks about her and me, I know he missed me and wants me back b/c he took me off his myspace.... Plz tell me what i should!

2007-11-01 17:24:24 · 12 answers · asked by Baby Girl 2

In my opinion you should always love your mom more then your wife. I am 19 single and dont plan on ever getting married, but if some day I do she will come second to my mom and sister. I just answered a question about a mommas boy and he was definitely one, but just cuz you love ur mom more then a wife doesn't mean ur a moms boy. I love my mom more then anything, but I am not a mommas boy. I am very protective of my sister and mother and if you even look wrong at them ur gonna be on the pavement. haha my sister is 22 and has barely had any boyfriends cuz I tend to run them off, its kind of wrong but I do it for the right reasons. They will always come before anyone else. Who do you think should come first?????

2007-11-01 17:08:50 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-01 16:58:36 · 40 answers · asked by greenwich 4

If a wife has forgiven her husband more than once for cheating, can the husband feel even more love and respect and bond to his wife for forgiving him and putting up with him?

2007-11-01 16:55:05 · 38 answers · asked by lookinfortruth 1

With so many cheating it makes a person wonder when monogamy became so popular. When we humans socialized to be monogamous. I am not promoting cheating, I am only saying that at one point in humanity it was not the expectation and I am wondering who, where, and why monogamy started.

2007-11-01 16:49:40 · 11 answers · asked by scsspace 3

im separated for 7 yrs now but my ex still get on my nerves. i wont say i still hate him now coz i dont but i still find myself sitting sometimes thinking how i wish it never failed and we were able to save it. i'm not inlove with ex anymore but i guess as my children's dad there will always be some love for him there and i do love my outlaws very much. i guess coz my own parents are awful to me esp now with my mama enjoys belittling me. that's the reason why i cling to my outlaws sometimes esp when my mum outlaws calls me on phone and started crying i will end up being affected. with ex all feeling are gone and im very happy with my bf now although he is so far from me.but can we really forget those awful memories and the feeling of nostalgia of wishing that incident never happened? ex choose a whore mistress and impregnated her hope its really his child!!!!.....so my kids suffered and im a broken person after separation......

2007-11-01 16:43:25 · 4 answers · asked by silly me 2

I am engaged to a woman who I have been dating for 9 years on and off. We have a 3 year old daughter and a 12 year old
(she had from a previous relationship). Lately she has been real short tempered with me. I work two jobs and am only home for a little time. I have been recently suspicous that she has been seeing a guy that lives on the same street. She will leave the house and he will leave the house only a short time after she does. When she comes back, he comes back not too long after. It hasn't been until I have started to notice this, that she gets a attitude when ever she is around me. She will come in the house and get an attitude out of no where and want to leave. She will then leave and then the neighbor will leave. She has had this non chalant attitude with me and will not talk any problems out with me (she will act like a child and walk off or drive off). Lately, even when I have a day off she will try to find a way to leave either through argument. What do I do?

2007-11-01 16:39:11 · 10 answers · asked by xxaveragejoexx 1

who is life partnor and when we married. plz tell my future and my carrier

2007-11-01 16:27:49 · 9 answers · asked by KANCHAN R 1

In the 3 years that we have been married, I have always felt like I am the least important to my husband. He treats his mother like a queen. We can all be together and he will do something she doesn't agree with. She'll call him out on it and he'll accept it. If I do it I have to experience hours of attitude and silence. If she calls him in the room he'll get up and go right away. If I call him he will sit and wait for me to call him again. Then when he does come to see what I wanted he will act upset -- like as if I am bothering him or something. There has always been a difference in how he treats his mom and me.

I have told him this a millions times but tonight we got into an argument and I brought it up again. He said the reason he does (he acknowledged it) is because she's not bossy like me. He says I'm too aggressive and bossy. But he's cheated on me twice and lied tons of times but I still treat him with the same respect as I'd treat my mother with. Sometimes even better.

2007-11-01 16:26:23 · 32 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4

2007-11-01 16:24:40 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-01 16:22:41 · 31 answers · asked by markymark 1

My husband filed for divorce two weeks ago. We have been fighting alot and he threw my to the ground and I hurt my foot. I told him to move into his mother's house because I was scared that something more serious would happen. So he files for divorce, does not tell me. I got served the same morning he was still living with me and we were intimate that morning. He took all his stuff to his mother's house. We have two kids 7 & 8 years old. We have made a scedule so we both get equal time with them. The problem is that he tries to kiss me, sometimes i kiss him back. (a little peck) He cried in my arms a few days ago and we held each other for about 5 minutes. I begged him to go to marriage counciling but we went last year one time and it was horrible. We fight verbally all the time. I really want to stay with him but I know we both need help to learn how to deal with eachother. He says he loves me, but I asked him to say "it's over, I want to be divorced" but he won't say it? I'm confused

2007-11-01 16:21:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was married for 14 years. The last 8 years he starting staying at work late. The sex almost stopped. I tried for 7 years to get him to a counslor. To me when your married you do what it takes to keep it going. Finally the last year I gave up. We finally ended and within 2 days of me moving out he started inviting his 23 y.o. secretary to the house. She has been there every night for 2 months. They say they did not have a relationship prior to the divorce. How many of you think there was a relationship prior? And why do this? I have no faith in people anymore. Someone please explain to me why someone would ruin a 14 year marriage for someone half their age and drag three little kids along for the ride.

2007-11-01 16:16:33 · 19 answers · asked by Babe 3

Rahhh im freaking 24 and my parents hate my boyfriend b/c of his job, b/c hes not a doctor or lawyer or whatever, he's a pest control agent. Regardless of how he treats me and I am happy, they hate him, causing uuber fighting matches. They haven't even tried to get to know him. And he knows they hate him...UGH! Any suggestions?

2007-11-01 16:14:55 · 9 answers · asked by chicabonita 2

My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage, and having kids and we've decided to wait because we're both still in college, and having to work all the time just to make ends meet. It would be totally selfish to have children right now we both know that, and we decided to wait until after school for marriage just because it's the smart thing to do.

The issue is very time someone invites me to a wedding, I hear of someone else getting married, or having a baby... my heart sinks a little bit.


The question is this.

I can deal with this sinking feeling. My boyfriend can not. He feels like he is failing me somehow by not dropping on his knee and proposing, or by giving me a child. Neither is the case. I know we aren't ready. I've told him myself we need to wait it's fine. But he can read me well enough to know it bothers me. How do I put his mind at ease, as well as keep myself from feeling like I'm missing something?

2007-11-01 16:13:12 · 20 answers · asked by cresentrosetat 2

Okay my hubby will be home from Iraq in one week now.(I'm excitted) so i dont know what i should do for the homecoming..he doesnt want anything big he says being with us is all thats going to matter to him,but i want to do something small,and simple..my sister,and her Bf will aslo be here for the homecoming,so want to do something small and simple,but what???? any ideas ppl?! thanx in advance=)

2007-11-01 16:09:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I know men arent dogs and cant be trained, but this is the only way I can phrase this. My current significant other was with a woman for over 10 years and cheated and she basically condoned his behavior and accepted it. We have been together for 3 years and I found out he had a one night stand. I can sort of see how he would try to pull this on me and try to get away with it, also because I am very understanding & forgiving about many other things. How can I make him see this will not fly with me again?

2007-11-01 16:06:59 · 26 answers · asked by lookinfortruth 1

my grandpaw is getting a divorce from my step grandmother. after he had a stroke in feb 07, she had him sign a power of attorney. in august, she went to the life insurance company and withdrew a life insurance policy that was on her. is he able to lay claim to part of that money since they where married at the time?

thank you

2007-11-01 16:05:52 · 3 answers · asked by adamc44 3