I know men arent dogs and cant be trained, but this is the only way I can phrase this. My current significant other was with a woman for over 10 years and cheated and she basically condoned his behavior and accepted it. We have been together for 3 years and I found out he had a one night stand. I can sort of see how he would try to pull this on me and try to get away with it, also because I am very understanding & forgiving about many other things. How can I make him see this will not fly with me again?
2007-11-01 16:06:59 · 26 answers · asked by lookinfortruth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did break up with him and we havent seen each other in a month.. Will this let him know Im serious??
2007-11-01 16:17:54 · update #1
he already pulled the wool over your eyes. these kind of men are "un-trainable" forget about it...or if you can live with his sh@# then keep him
2007-11-01 19:05:05 · answer #1 · answered by only1sol2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry but I also believe that all men are not dogs.....but there may be some truth to the old saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. This has been a comfortable lifestyle for this man for many years and it looks like he isn't going to change it for anyone woman. He is a philander and is not content in being with one woman sexually for any length and time. You could suggest some counseling for the two of you and get some proffesional advice if you decide to take him back.....this way you will understand what you are up against if you continue the relationship. The one thing that I am really concerned about for you is that he has had many sexual partners and he could easily give you a life threatening std that would not be worth your health. He really has some issues with his moral beliefs and being faithfull in a commited relationship. I would be very carefull with this man in putting all your feelings and emotions into hands.......because you deserve to be loved by someone you can trust to protect your heart and the love that is there for someone that deserves it. Take care of yourself and I wish you only the best.
2007-11-01 23:39:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant make someone do or understand something they dont WANT to do or understand for themselves. The one-night stand could be a sign of his unreadiness, talk to him if he cant agree to commit and truly see where you are coming from,thats a sign you shoud probably rethink the relationship. You probably should have made it clear when you found about about the first incident that cheating would not fly with you,if he is not truly sorry he could take that as a sign to step all over you. I DO believe people makes mistakes but, when those mistakes are repeated for not a few months or a year but YEARS, it becomes a lifestyle and a habit.
2007-11-01 23:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by jayo88 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seriously think about what you just wrote,...
married for 'over ten years' and cheated. Yet you still got together with him,... he cheated on you...(one night stand?)
No matter what you call it...still cheating and you accept it by saying..." this will not fly with me again?"
Why on earth would someone love a person who cares nothing about them?
A lot of women talk and complain about how men cheat, but yet they are still with them... do you like the drama?
If not then leave him and find a man... Not a boy wanna-be!
When I found out my husband cheated on me there was no pause, one week later he was single again!
2007-11-01 23:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by BlackWidow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot train him not to cheat. He only thinks about himself and nothing else. What makes you think that she condoned it? Do not believe everything that he tells you. There are always two sides to a story. Is this his excuse for doing it? I would not forgive cheating for any reason. Aren't you worth more than you are getting from him?
2007-11-02 00:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an easy solution to this problem: don't get involved with a man who has a history of cheating on his wife for 10 years.
You wouldn't buy car insurance from a company that had a 10-year history of not paying any claims, right?
2007-11-01 23:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry, I know you're going to hear this again, again and again that this person is not worth it. The best way to show him is the door. He will not change his behavior after 10 yrs of doing this with his former partner. If he really want a relationship then he need to conduct himself in such a manner. If he only want someone for a one nighter, then he need to forget about a relationship.
2007-11-01 23:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be "understanding and forgiving" This guy will only do what you allow. If you allow him to get away with this, as you have said you let him get away with other things, he will cheat again. Be polite but firm, he's just testing the boundaries. Set very clean and firm boundaries Good Luck
2007-11-01 23:12:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good grief.......either he`s part of the solution or he`s part of the problem. Monogamy is a choice. He`s an adult, it`s hard to influence him, tell him your concern. STDS, ummmm, your emotional health, and the future of your relationship. Not to mention, he`s going nowhere with his affairs, he`s being used. But gosh, there are soooo many sweet, emotionally intellligent guys out there, why him??
2007-11-01 23:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by lost2day 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is a cheater for life. Some people cheat, regret it and never do it again. Then you have people like this guy -- he's used to cheating. His ex-wife allowed him to cheat. He expects you to do the same thing. I don't think he will stop.
2007-11-01 23:18:56 · answer #10 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The boundaries are diferent for EVERY relationship.. Just because the Ex took it doesn't mean that you have to...I say move on...There's always a better guys around the corners from those that TRY to use and abuse us....
2007-11-01 23:26:59 · answer #11 · answered by Michelle LL 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋