My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 months. Last week he said he had to go check his email, so I walked in the room to say hi and on the screen was an email from his newly married ex-girlfriend. He quickly cleared it off the screen and when I asked him what it was, he said it was nothing and acted strangely. I asked to see the email and he said he deleted it. I have a problem with this because she was calling him last year after we broke off our engagement, and he lied and said he didn't know who it was and refused to answer it when I was around. I ended up sending a text message to what I thought was her cell phone # and it ended up being her husband's. He asked why I was texting her and I explained that she was emailing my husband. He then got mad at me and said that I was jealous. She also called my husband later that week, but didn't leave a message. I am not jealous, but upset that they were talking behind my back. Please help!
2007-11-01 17:24:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry but if he's keeping secrets thats never good, if there was nothing to hide about their relationship if it was purely innocent then he wouldnt feel the need to hide it from you ....
2007-11-01 17:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is highly inappropriate for your husband and his ex to be emailing and calling one another! They are both newly married and even if it is innocent, this opens the door for temptation. Your husband needs to love and respect you and if he does, he will put a stop to this immediatly. Tell him it hurts that he is keeping secrets from you and ask him how it would like it, if you were emailing and calling your old boyfriend. Try to do so without yelling, or getting overly emotional. If you approach him calmly and without anger or sounding accusatory, he will be more open to listening. Also, choose your time to talk wisely. Do not approach him when he first comes home for work. It is better to wait until he is well rested and in a good mood. Good luck to you!
2007-11-01 17:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by ceegt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I was in a first marriage where jealousy and mistrust reigned supreme, 7 yrs later and new relationship and child later, I can take things more in stride. I can say that if he didn't ACT suspicious, then an email is fairly harmless. Now, if in the past you threw a major hissy-fit, he may have reasons to cover it up. Now, if he has a past of cheating you have a gripe...It really goes back and forth. If shes married as well, I would imagine its fairly harmless. Some exs stay friends. If thats the case maybe you will have to deal.
2007-11-01 17:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by primalclaws1974 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, who understands idiot husband behavior as such. you have the right to be angry. that sounds questionable. they will use every excuse in the book to why thery are lying and why they are talking to the ex and why you are over reacting blah, blah, blah...... You know best. the question is what are you going to do about it. find a healthy way of coping and once you cope then find a way to address it with him to let him know you will not tolerate this kind of behavior. set some boudaries at this week moment of his. have him come up with solutions or your guys lack of comunication and bonding will hurt the relationship. maybe he is trying to detach from you do some kind of fear or anxiety of the marriage thing. some times marriage can be a scarry process even after saying i do. the thought of having comited to someone and giving them some control over some areas of you life can not only be a struggle but can be fearful so you may act out in such ways as your hubby as a defense mechanism and he doesnt even know it....probably this is what is going on.
2007-11-01 17:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a secret then he has other secrets, get rid of him, you can not trust him, and when the trust is gone the relationship will crumble and in the end you have to face the truth which is what you are fearing right now. Go with your gut, that gut feeling is always right.
2007-11-01 17:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be jealous and upset. what is it that they email and talk about that your husband is trying to hide. apparently she's keeping her communications with your husband a secret from her husband too. maybe those two are up to no good. i say do some investigation and then confront them both....make sure her husband is there too. good luck.
2007-11-01 17:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really wrong.
It doesn't matter what his ex is doing.....he's allowing it.
I would tell my husband we need to talk and set some boundaries....and if thinks that makes you jealous then you have a really big problem.
2007-11-01 17:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a liar and hides things from you. I would say that he is not duscouraging her from contact with him. Get to the bottom of this.
2007-11-01 17:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im- me and I will show you a way to check his computer and read those messages and clear your mind... and if he is lying-- you can confront him with the truth!!
no joke!
2007-11-01 17:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by BlackWidow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I smell two rats. I'm afraid your husband is one of them. The other is his ex.
2007-11-01 17:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by Moon Crystal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋