If a wife has forgiven her husband more than once for cheating, can the husband feel even more love and respect and bond to his wife for forgiving him and putting up with him?
2007-11-01 16:55:05 · 38 answers · asked by lookinfortruth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
cheating more than once?!?!?! Hell no. He's just happy he can have his cake and eat it too. He sees that he can cheat and she keeps taking him back so why stop?
Do you see a pattern in most of the responses?
2007-11-01 16:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Das ist mein fluch 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In the experiences I have seen then No. Every person is different. If she has forgiven him more than once already what has he done to prove it will be different? By forgiving him again and again all he is feeling is that whatever he does she will forgive him again. He has no consequences for his actions. 2 of my sisters and many of my friends have been in this situation. They got more respect from their husbands (ex's) after they left them. I'm not saying all men are the same, there are some exceptions out there, but if they can get away with it then they will keep doing it. If there are no serious consequences, only inconveniences chances are they will keep doing what they are doing. In some cases it got worse. They didn't respect their wives more but started treating them badly, like it was their fault. Making her feel bad for his mistakes, talking down to her, seeing how far they could push things.
2007-11-01 19:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by bkdrm41897 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may have said that after the first time...but if he has cheated on several occasions and she takes him back it is one of a few things: #1 She can't afford the bills alone, #2 She has low self esteem, #3 She has someone else now as well, or #4 She handles forgiveness by the Bible and is willing to forgive 70 times 7.....please note....neither of these option include more love and respect. It is my hope that the two seek counseling so as not to further damage the relationship...it seems that neither want to leave...
2007-11-01 16:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by Fee4Lyfe 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Lets say the husband is the scum of the universe, he beats her up and treat her like a toilet. That might, to a certain extent, justify for the affair with another man. And if the husband thinks she's done him wrong, then he's the one who should go to hell. But if the situation already reaches to this point, its better to get a proper divorce so the wife can smack the husband back with the alimony.
2016-03-13 21:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It happened that way in our marriage. Things are better now than before the affair. It forced us to deal with the things that were wrong with our relationship years before the affair. I'm not grateful by any means that it happened, but it was definitely a turning point for us, for the better. I still have some issues with trust, and of course my self-esteem took a beating, but things are going well over all.
2007-11-01 19:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by I39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very fragile thing and after it has been broken you may be able to glue it back together but it's just not the same.
A second time isn't just "oops I knocked the vase off the table!" The *&% picked up your vase, threw it on the floor and danced on the pieces.
He only said "oops" when it came to cleaning up the mess.
Forgive him if you can't live without him but don't expect respect for it. Sorry, this sounds so very awful.
2007-11-01 17:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think so! If he could not respect you in the first place by being loyal. Then I don see why he deserves a second chance! There was something about him or your relationship that made him want to explore, so let him go! It's might be hard, but respect yourself and find someone better! He will more than likely keep walking all over you, because you let him.
2007-11-01 17:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Chalise 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Certainly. With forgiveness a marriage can and often does get stronger after someone cheats. However, since you've cheated more than once I hope you are working on the issues that made you cheat so you don't do it again. Your wife's ability to forgive will not be a bottomless pit. Don't ruin a good thing.
2007-11-01 17:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wish I could say yes, but I don't think so. If he has done it before and you keep taking him back he is going to expect it. He probably thinks you will keep taking him back so why should he stop? Does this make sense? Maybe you should keep your eyes open and if he does it again, leave him. That will prove a point and he might just change his ways. I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater, but I do believe you need to prove a point to be to get respect and get your feelings across to another person.
2007-11-01 17:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by Tricia & Shane 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe he has the feeling he has achieved unconditional love. Is it the wife that has now become the martyr...possibly feeling some sort of empowerment that she is above the cheating spouse and for some distorted way of thinking she is now entitled to him feeling obligated and she must love him more than he loves her. Forgive me, but I believe this might work for a few, but most women would come to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with him repecting or being closer to her. They would come to the conclusion that it is called "having your cake and eat it too". For the guy it could be security and always someone who will be there for you when you continually jeopardize everything! Does doormat ring a bell?
2007-11-01 17:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can and he should, but unfortunately men think with something other than their heads and hearts when they cheat and then rationalise it by saying to themselves well she will always forgive me. Once should be enough men like that can bring home diseases I would suggest the wives dealt with it like this the very first time it happens, get themselves vetted for std's and sling the B's out of their lives for good. They are no good to decent women and poor role-models for any kids they have got.
2007-11-01 17:12:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋