Marriage & Divorce - 25 September 2007

I have been married for 11 years, have two great kids, and my husband is funny and thoughtful. BUT, he lies about money & little things to try to cover his @$$.
We have been in serious debt for our whole marriage & I finally had to take his name off the checking account. He was borrowing from those check cashing places, bouncing checks left & right & has bill collectors calling the house daily. Now I have this giant mess to try to clean up.
I don't see him changing. He's always sorry, says he wants to change but I am so tired of fighting. I've tried temper tantrums, begging, bargaining, calm discussions. I love him & our family so much, but when is enough enough? When am I just stupid for staying?

2007-09-25 12:31:56 · 14 answers · asked by gypsy rose lee 1

When and how did you know SHE was that special person you wanted to spend your life with?

How did you know SHE was different from other women you dated?

I am marrying my true love Joseph this year!

2007-09-25 12:31:35 · 8 answers · asked by Pssssh Whatever 4

2007-09-25 12:31:06 · 5 answers · asked by Great 1

me and my hubby have argued quiet a bit about him spankin it and how i will ask whether or not we are gonna have sex that night he mentioned that he doesnt like that and he hates that i check up on him and what he is looking at online..now i have stopped asking qeustions and have even stopped worrying about him taking care of himself because i know thats normal but still bothers me..so today i asked him if he was goin home first or goin to pick up the baby then go home he thought i was askin him because if he was goin home then i would think he was taking care of himself which is not why i was asking at all but first he laughed it off and some how it turned into this big blow out about how i make sex like a chore because i want to have sex everyday and i get home late and he works a hard job and is too tired and he thinks i am being inconsiderate when like i said i havent been asking about it or even mentioning it so i hung up w him cuz i didnt want to listen to it anyway i text him..

2007-09-25 12:13:40 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

So we've been working through some issues with frequency / desire .... Last night we were talking (really openning up - I thought). She asked me why I felt that the "Sex thing" was all on MY shoulders.... I responded by stating that I feel she views it as a duty and that she really doesn't 'want' to do it - only out of obligation. I went on to cite the fact that its pretty stale, very little different positions, dang near silent, etc... I also stated that it frustrates me because when we were first dating / married - she was much more open, vocal, and adventurous - that I wanted to be like that again.

Well - she started to cry, then got MAD. She stated that "I'm not good enough for you-you want the old me-not me now..." I was like, "No, I want you - I just wish it could be like it used to be...."

HER -, "Well things change, you should just be happy you have a gal that wants to do it after 10 years..."

Ladies- How else could I have stated this as to not offend her?

2007-09-25 11:53:29 · 28 answers · asked by aa889d 5

It seems like a lot of women trivialize men's needs in a relationship. If a bf/husband is supportive of his wife, and fufills her emotional needs, isn't she somewhat obligated, as a good partner and wife, to fulfill her bf/husbands needs?

(This is of course providing that he's unselfish in the bedroom, and doesn't expect it like five times a day or anything...)

2007-09-25 11:26:45 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman was depressed because she brake up with her boyfriend, and met his neighbor, just to hangout.He didn't have no apart. so she said:O.K you can stay with me while you get an aprt.But passing the time they fell in love and got married (now been 3 years, no kids).Then, last year she met this young guy at work, that changed her life.He is hansome,funny, likes to talk,romantic etc.They started like friends, but one day she said to him that she likes him and kissed him. After that she can't stop thinking about the young guy. He have done things that no man have done to her, even her husband.She said that she don't have sex with her husband since she met the young guy.She said that she is o.k with her husband but they are better as friends.This young guy is the love of her life, all she wants in a man, he has it. SHE IS 28, SHE IS A NURSE EARN $40 DOLLARS PER HOUR,HER HUSBAND IS 26 EARN $10,YOUNG GUY 20 EARN $9 AND IS X-RAY STUDENT. WHO WOULD YOU PICK? HUSBAND OR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?

2007-09-25 10:45:15 · 24 answers · asked by Yulien 2

I have spent the last 12 years showering my wife with love, attention, consideration, gifts, trips, dinners, drinks, and excitement. It didn't take her long to come to expect these things regularly. Now she's a stay at home mom to our twin daughters, and I have a home office. But it's taking it's toll. Am I wrong to expect her to wake up before 10am when the babies wake up? Am I wrong to expect her to keep the house clean? Am I wrong to ask HER to cook once in a while? Am I wrong for expecting her to go to the grocery store once in a while instead of the mall? I love my wife dearly and we have a WILD personal life behind closed doors! But lately I just feel like we've been lousy partners. How do I get things to be more 50/50 instead of 70/30? How do I get her to see that that the world doesn't revolve around her and HER wants & needs and that I have wants and needs too? How do you "un-spoil" a wife? (no we don't live in Orange County CA!)

2007-09-25 10:45:10 · 18 answers · asked by ? 5

A lot of people think that by dating there gonna get over there brokenheart which may help but is dangerous for yourself or the person your dating.

Its been 2 months since things ended with my ex and Im still very hurt.I try to date but for some reason I feel I cant do it.I mean there always seems to be something wrong with the girl and I gotta let her go.In my mind Im shaking my girl saying "Why did you do this to us.Now I have to go through all this again".I know I still need a lot of time to heal.

I told this girl Im dating,not to get close to me cause my hearts to messed up to be in any relationship.I treat her good but I just dont care for anything serious with her or anyone.But Im honest with her so she can decide what to do.But she still tries for me and tells me that everything will be OK and shes different.

Im affraid shes gonna get hurt and then blame me that I only wanted 1 thing but its not like that.I think I should just let her go.What do I do?

2007-09-25 10:41:13 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Even if he is on meds and seems better and is getting the help he needs and moving on in life and doesn't want to hear her problems (that he created- even when she tried to get away but he kept after her and she couldn't get a restraining order at first) while she is still tortured by memories of the past and worries of what he will do to her, especially if he gets off the meds or needs an adjustment?
She has been through counseling, and can't afford for her to get the help she needs. The husband is getting his help but barely able to pay for it. It is either he gets help or she does. He makes too much to qualify for financial assistance but in cases of mental illness like this, the money seems to disappear.

2007-09-25 10:38:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I hate them pack rats on my husband side of his family.

2007-09-25 10:32:19 · 15 answers · asked by PrettyAKA 2

I just turned 25 yrs old and my husband is 29 yrs old we have been married 4 yrs.I have a daughter who is turning 5 yrs old soon from a previous relationship.After moving 3 times for my hubbys career i caved into his wishes for me to quit my job(elementry school teacher)and come home to start a family with him.I could not seem to get pregnant though and recently found out he was cheating on me all that time.Recently he ran off with her(his boss) after he got fiered for his relationship with her by a superior.Bills are starting to stack up on water, electric,insurance ect.I am paying for food with credit cards that are almost maxed out.The house was a gift from my hubbys parents so we have no moragage the house is worth about 533- 577 grand.We also have 4 cars toyota carola(mine),(hubbys) pick up truck,(hubbys) mustang and a suv we both used.I have no clue where hubby is so am i allowed to sell things without asking?

2007-09-25 10:23:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

my sstep mom is much a bi*** she so mean and always says i wish id,nt marry your dad what do ido

2007-09-25 10:15:57 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was with my husband for 5 years and for 3 1/2 of those years we've been married. We've been doing nothing but fighting for the last year or so. I got tired of it and left. We have 2 kids. He said that he wanted to keep them and have joint custody. I've been gone for Sunday the 23rd of September. I love him because we had 2 kids together but I'm not in love with him anymore. Now he's trying to keep me from seeing my kids, he's not taking them to school. I'm filing for divorce this week or next. I'm staying with a good friend.
Do you have any advice?

2007-09-25 09:55:01 · 6 answers · asked by Missy S 1

My husband and I are coming up on our first wedding anniversary in less than a month. However, I find myself not wanting to make it that far with him. Since the wedding, I have been in charge of cooking, cleaning, driving, taking care of our dog, finances, and running our life while also trying to pursue a career of my own. He does not want to learn to drive, leaves early and comes home late. I have tried to communicate about sharing responsibilities with him but whenever an opportunity comes up for him to advance his career he completely forgets that we even talked. At first he promised me that he was super loyal and would never so much as look at another woman but I have found that to be untrue and I lost my wedding rings over a fight about this, which I know now I was stupid to believe. Is our marriage worth going to counseling for, or is it too late? I find when I think about it, I am more upset about getting a divorce and not losing my husband.

2007-09-25 09:45:52 · 18 answers · asked by whatever79869 1

I just passed my 5 year anniversary with my husband and we still don't have a good sexual relationship. He still makes no effort to come on to me, please me, or get to know my body at all. We rarely do it and I guess you could say all he cares about is the end result. I've lost all of my confidence because of this problem. I'm very sensitive to his ego and I've been very patient with him.
So my question is: Is it ok to end a marriage over lack of sex or good sex for that matter? I'd just like to know what you think about ending marriage over sex. I find it hard to end it over sex but I'm really unhappy.

2007-09-25 09:39:00 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-09-25 09:34:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Sometimes I feel sinful after watching people "do the dirty".
:)
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2007-09-25 09:32:33 · 27 answers · asked by ? 2

2007-09-25 09:30:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

why im going to chicago (i live in florida) to see my girlfriend, shes buying us hockey tickets. what can i tell her so she wont find out whats going on?

2007-09-25 09:19:20 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

It does matter if you are rich, poor, middle income, tall, short, skinny, fat, or have muscles. It all comes down to how you treat women. True, some women go through a phase where they only go for the bad guys. You can either wait on them or move on to someone that appreciates you now. Anyway, nothing curls my toes faster than having a man call me honey, hon, sweetheart or some other pet name. Sit beside me with his hand on my leg. Or hold my hand while we are grocery shopping. If I thought a man honestly cared about me and treated me special, I would be there for him no matter what. Try it for a day and see what happens.

2007-09-25 09:18:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

how do you deal with them in general??? Any tips??? Esp ones with bossy narcissistic exes???

2007-09-25 09:16:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

We split once 2 years into our marriage because he treated me terrible. After I moved out he begged me to come back said how sorry he was & how much he loved me. I didnt believe him because I tried to tell him how he was hurting me before we split but he didn't stop. He came over daily, called constantly & was extremely nice to me. So after 6 mnths I went back hoping 2 work things out. He did change how he treated me, but he never did stop controlling me. 2 yrs after we got back together he started being horribly jealous & accusing me of cheating when he worked nights. I never did cheat or do ANYTHING to make him think that. I dealt with it for 4 yrs. Now that I left hes doing the same as last time telling me how hes going 2 change, I do think he can stop but whats next?! I don't think I luv him anymore but am afraid it might be bitterness. Am I making a mistake wanting a divorce? But could I be wasting my life on a bad relationship? Should I move on? I want 2 make the right choice...

2007-09-25 09:14:26 · 12 answers · asked by sugar_foot_86321 1

2007-09-25 09:13:17 · 21 answers · asked by msgraham@btinternet.com 1

I just turned 25 yrs old and my husband is 29 yrs old we have been married 4 yrs.I have a daughter who is turning 5 yrs old soon from a previous relationship.Our marriage started out well but got rocky when an ex.gf of his came after him for child support .Paternity test later proved the boy was my husbands and i supported my hubbys relationship with his son.Later on after moving 3 times for my hubbys career i caved into his wishes for me to quit my job(elementry school teacher)and come home to start a family with him.I could not seem to get pregnant though and recently found out he was cheating on me all that time.Recently he ran off with her after he got fiered.
Bills are starting to stack up for water,electricity,insurance ect.I have a cell phone number to contact him but he wont give me an adress to send divorce papers too?

2007-09-25 09:09:59 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-09-25 08:59:34 · 21 answers · asked by BamaFan 1

My husband and I have been together for almost 4 years (maried & living together since this past January). He has never had a voracious sex drive and has always refused to go down on me although I do it to him every once in a while and he seems to like it. We probably have sex twice a week on average. I just can't figure out why he's not more into intimacy. I love him and love other aspects of our relationship, he is very kind and a great partner. I am just having a hard time understanding a guy that is just not that interested in intimacy. He'll have sex, but it's more of a get in get out, get on with life. He very seldom touches other areas of my body which are so sensitive and important for a woman to really enjoy sex. When I bring it up, he gets uncomfortable and says that he just doesn't need it that much and that he's not really into women's boobs when I suggest that I would get more arounsed if he paid attention to other areas of my body. Any suggestions?

2007-09-25 08:55:14 · 19 answers · asked by Peachgirl 1

2007-09-25 08:42:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

My girlfriend and I are going through a big problem in our relationship. I work for a fire department and work 24 hour shifts at a time. I work a female coworker and work together on a regular basis. My girlfriend is unfortable with us working together. It is strictly business with my work partner. I have tried to get my schedule changed but I can't get one. I have no idea what to do. I love my girlfriend and don' t want to loose her. Ladies I need her help on this one.

2007-09-25 08:41:40 · 11 answers · asked by myztkl1 1

2007-09-25 08:37:12 · 7 answers · asked by Reeze 4