Marriage & Divorce - 16 July 2007

I just got out of a long-term (11 years) relationship. I am having a really tough time getting through this. I haven't had an easy past by any stretch of the imagination, however I am finding this to be one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Our relationship has been a very complicated thing (Including, death of hes brother, and my 5 or 6 year long struggle through addiction) I am sober now and I figured in doing so our relationship would get better, yet in reality it got worse. He became completely unwilling to getting any help for himself ( and his co-dependency with me) until we broke-up.

Well, it's been about 5 months, and I am still having one hell of a time getting past this. I realize it will probably will continue to be quite rough, seeing that there was co-dependency issues, and so many years together. However, he has already started dating. Which flabbergasts me. which I can't conceive of at this point! How can he move on so quickly?

2007-07-16 08:53:30 · 24 answers · asked by Karen S 1

If I am in a serious relationship with a divorced man who has children ages 3 and 5, is it wrong to want to meet his ex wife? I have no problems with her. I do not feel threatened by her nor do I want her to feel threatened by me. Their problems of the past can be between her and my bf and do not want it to affect her and me. Though it will be awkard, I'd like to lay some things out about her expectations and where I am able to stand with the children. I want her to know I am not trying to take her place and will respect her wishes as to what she and their father want for the children. Is this inappropriate or how should I approach this with her? I want as little drama as possible, because she is and always will be their mother, regardless. I don't know if she'll be offended by this or what else I should inlcude in talking with her. Also, should we include the man in here? What do you all think about this?

2007-07-16 08:52:01 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've known my fiancé for 8 years. He's the love of my life. 2 years ago I moved out of state to be with him. 2 months later I found out that he cheated on me a month before I moved to be w/him. I was devastated, so was he. Not only am I a virgin waiting for marriage, but we have a strong Christian relationship as well. It's been a year now & we worked through a lot & got engaged. I look back & realize the act was completely out of character for him & I feel that he has changed for the better. He's gone to counseling (his idea), he's read books, he is 100% honest with me about everything, & makes it completely known that he wants to be with only me forever. We have never had any other problems in our relationship with trust or honesty. We're getting married next year & I just want to know, is it really possible for people to change? I feel like there's so much out there about chronic cheaters but if it happened once, & they repented & owned up to it, is it still foolish to trust again?

2007-07-16 08:48:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am so tired of being married to a bump on a log. He watches tv and sleeps and doesnt do much else. Our children are still babies, we've been married almost 7 yrs. We have no initmate relationship and were pretty much like room mates and nothing more. Is this enough for me to call it quits. He says he cant change. Which to me means he is not willing to try to change.

2007-07-16 08:40:34 · 24 answers · asked by mad mommy 1

If you've been in a similar situation, please advise: When the love in finished, but you do not want to end things, can you bring it back? Or what can one do in order to bring it back?

2007-07-16 08:37:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

here's the deal. My husband and I are 25 and 26. we have been married for 6 months, but have known eachother for 10 years. we both have very good jobs, we are closing on our first home next week. it is a three bedroom brick home in the country. we have three cars, a big yard, and dogs. i have two step-children. one is 3 the other is 7. my husband and thier mother were never married. my husband pays child support and we have visitation. lately, the mother has gone from bad to worse. she is a known alcoholic, she takes zanax, valium, etc,. and im sure other street drugs. she curses frequently, she can't and will not keep a job, she goes from boyfriend to boyfriend, she has no car, and no morals in my opinion. she is 27. she lives with her parents who are just as bad. the children are exposed to terrible things. they come to visit and talk about beer, fighting, cursing, and prescription drugs. i love my step children and i feel as if they are being ruined! do we have a custody case?

2007-07-16 08:37:17 · 11 answers · asked by jenni 2

I have a friend with benefit. We are both married. Because of a text message incident both our spouses found out about the affair. Both of our spouses forgave us. But we still want each other. Sex is fantastic, we do things to each other that our spouses can not. But the attraction is purely sexual, we have no other commonalities and attraction(except we also have great conversations). Although we do not care about the consequences of the affair, we are trying to do what is right. But the urge is absolutely difficult to resist. We work with each other, both supervisors so we have that constant contact. What (logical)advice can you give so we can maintain a platonic relationship?

Quitting our job is not an option

2007-07-16 08:36:38 · 42 answers · asked by loveanonymity 2

I have been w/ my husband for 11 years and we've been married 9 years. Togethor we have 2 kids and I have a 12 yr old girl from my 1st marriage. I married way to young on that one and it only lasted 1 year. He has cheated on me in the past and now is picking fights w/ me over everything. He is trying to control me now more than ever and becoming verbally abusive. We as a team decided when our two year old was born for me to stay home and take care of the kids and help him run his business but now he is saying things like "He'll never have anything as long as I am here" and that I spending to much money even though he wont even put my name on the checking account and if i need money for anything i have to get it from him. The only thing i am allowed to spend money on is groceries and on rare occasions clothes for the kids. It's like he cant stand to be around me and the kids at all. He takes off all the time and leaves me w/ the kids. I cant even remember a day w/ out at least on kid.

2007-07-16 08:31:20 · 9 answers · asked by lilpixie133 1

2007-07-16 08:29:00 · 16 answers · asked by jessie0420 2

Okay my husband just told me that he wants to join the army. the reason he wants to join is for the sign on bonus to help with the debt we are in. now he understands that this is not a quick way out of debt buts a solution to the problem for now. I dont want him to go but i will support him with what ever decision he makes.
I have 4 family members in the military now and 2 are in Iraq. 1 is about to be deployed and the other is not allowed back into the middle east because of certain issues concerning his health. all of these family members say let him go but i dont want to see to get killed and im left with 2 children to raise on my own.
he is thinking about going reserve so that he can be with us most of the time but all reservist that I have known have been deployed or they are about to go for there 2nd or 3rd tour.

2007-07-16 08:27:32 · 9 answers · asked by Becky 3

I have been married for 10 years. During this time my marriage has been tumultuous at best. At the beginning of our marriage I was very possessive - and I didn't want to share my husband - with anyone. I'll admit - it was really a possession issue and insecurity on my part. There were also other issues going on...but I'll omit some of the details.

My husband doesn't work steady - it's been at least 3 years since he had steady employment. I have been working full time, sometimes two jobs in order to make ends meet.

About 4 years into our marriage he decided he hated where we lived, nothing was going right, we had to move. Prior to this we had been on the verge of being kicked out of every apartment we lived in because he couldn't control his temper. Never had an eviction - he also found a loophole but still looks really bad.

We moved to Las Vegas. Sold everything and uprooted our lives; I gave up a great job to move. Vegas was a nightmare!

2007-07-16 08:24:21 · 3 answers · asked by klmmlk27 2

someone you love?

2007-07-16 08:19:59 · 16 answers · asked by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4

i caught my husband checking out videos on youtube about boobs. he always told me he hated people who did that......and he was doing it himself....i felt very cheated and cried for a lot of days...its about trust...if he likes doing things like this, why does he lie???? i dont feel like i want to have sex with him anymore....he argues constantly and opposes every little thing i do...this is my second marriage...i dont know what to do....

2007-07-16 07:59:25 · 19 answers · asked by mama_2_b 1

I am 24, married and professionally successful lady. I had a courtship of 4 years before i tied the knot with the man i loved. As all relationships have their bad phases, we had them too and did stand the test of time. But since 2005, an incident did hurt me badly. Though i continued with this marriage, out of social compulsion i started believing that i wont b able to love this person so dearly than before. In the mean time i developed feelings for a guy who had loved me dearly since 2002 but i never responded. But since 2005 i fell for him when i saw his undying love for me even after so many years of not responding. Now i am in greta dilemma. Not even a single day passes without his thought but i cant leave my husband either. I feel like committing suicide since neither do i want to betray my husband nor betray the guy who till date loves me dearly.PLEASE HELP. Whats should i do

2007-07-16 07:54:30 · 12 answers · asked by Resonance 1

2007-07-16 07:52:28 · 8 answers · asked by Aj 1

My father-in-law got married without marriage registration at late 1960's , but his wife not liked him and so they got seperate in front of the village people(village panchayat) within one year with no kids. After 10 years later, He got married again with my mother-in-law and they have two children(one of the child is my hubby).My father-in-law has some land and LIC for 4 lakhs. 10 years before, He past away. Now the 1st wife filed the case for getting equal shares in land and Insurance money. The case is on the court. My question- Is she has legal right to get shares in my father-in-law asset? I heard that a married couple(with no marriage registration) got seperate continuously for 12 years, the Govt law treated as a divorced couple. Is it true? Pls anybody clear my confusion and explain me what's going to happen next?? Plssss... Thks a lot

2007-07-16 07:28:31 · 6 answers · asked by Dreamgirl 1

so my boyfriend and his ex-wife have been seperated for over a year, and he filed the divorce papers about 2 or 3 months ago. they said they'd let him know in a week or 2 what he needs to do next, but we still haven't heard anything. do we continue to wait? what do we do?? help?!?!

2007-07-16 07:22:04 · 15 answers · asked by Kristabella 2

really likes me and I'm getting those feelings like I did back in highschool 15 years ago when I met my wife. I will give her the house and give her support but I want to experience a new love as she is my first. She is the first girl that I have ever kissed and I want to see what a new women can offer. My wife will be devestated as well as out two boys but I think they will recover as I will try and get joint custody. She doesn't know about cindy as I have only met her 3 weeks ago but she tells me things that my wife never has. Always complementing me where my wife only nags! Should I make myself happy or stay miserable? I will not go to counceling because I want cindy.

2007-07-16 07:10:36 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-16 07:00:30 · 20 answers · asked by seawave 2

2007-07-16 06:58:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

My best friend who is 18, just told me she loves a 30 year old man who has at least one kid, about 3 years old, that I know of and a wife. He apparently has told her he loves her too, and I am not suppose to try and stop it or do anything about it but I am so freaked out and disturbed and feel like I dont even know her anymore. What do I do?!? I have no idea what to tell her or how to react. I am just really really concerned! I for the life of me do not want anything to happen between them, and have never experienced anything like this before. How can someone have the mindset to do something like this? She says they just have a connection and that I don't understand but I am the only one she can talk to about it. I dont want to know about it! This is my best friend for going on 7 years and this is so out of character. I never knew this was possible. What the hell is wrong with her?!?!? Please give me some advice, I am so bothered and concerned for her.

2007-07-16 06:56:59 · 17 answers · asked by imnotgay 1

My on and off bf of ten years and I have broken up for good. I moved over 1,000 miles away hoping it would help me get over it but it hasn't. I feel completely awful and am so unhappy and depressed. I think about him all the time and it occupies all of my time. He cheated on me and lied to me numerous times, so why is it so hard to get over someone that treats you bad anyways? I feel like a lost a piece of myself and that I will never feel whole or normal again. I try to do things to occupy my time and thoughts but nothing works. He still calls me everyday and I talk to him but that just makes me upset, but I wonder why is he still calling me everyday. I don't know if I should talk to him or ignore him or what. I feel like I am going crazy and don't know how to get my normal fun self back. Any adivce, suggestions, ideas, or opinions would be appreciated.

2007-07-16 06:50:27 · 9 answers · asked by Lily 2

Hi, i know the classic "dont buy the cow when you get the milk for free" bit but this is my situation, ive been with someone for 9 years, we own a home, we have 2 children.. we have a great relationship, after all these years we have been through the fire and back and we are great, except that i want marriage. i dont mean a wedding, id be happy (we dont have a ton of money) to go to the justice of the peace just to be his wife but he shuts me down after the mention of it.. saying that he wants to but theres always an excuse.. some would say at this point why bother but i say why not bother! I know maybe i am talking about doing things alittle backward but at this point any way we do it would be backward..hahhah. i mean please give me some insight that maybe im not seeing into what this man is thinking, hes very independent, we both work and have our own bank accts, ive said i like it that way so what is on his mind, any clues.. girls and guys advice welcome. its not like i want his $

2007-07-16 06:49:27 · 12 answers · asked by ANGELA29 2

Almost all of my in-law family thinks that my brother-n-law's new wife is a "gold digger". We really think that she married him for the families money. Which there isn't any. This is only one of the many issues we have. She is very controlling and we think that my brother-n-law has pretty muched sacrificed his family, friends and life for her. She says that it's not that way. We don't want to loose him but someone who says one thing and does another what do you do? For someone who wants so desparately a family she's doing a great job of pushing us all away. IF you look up SOCIOPATH it fits her to a tee. All of us has done our best to be as civil as we can. Some of us has openly admitted our dislike for her. She can't understand why. No amount of answers will justify it for her. What can we do were it's not going to cause further stress in our family? IT has put a real strain on family get togethers. There is none anymore because of her.

2007-07-16 06:47:38 · 9 answers · asked by ////////// 2

or is it that you have been there done that. I know that there is way more to a happy marriage than sex but after 15 years is it normal to expect forplay from either party to be reduced to a single sentence along the lines of "do me the kids are with grandma". I'm young enough to still remember the exitement that I felt just thinking about being alone with my beautiful bride. Now it's more of a duty or just something to break up the day from time to time. I've even caught myself thinking of it as pretty decent exercise for getting to heart rate up. I think that I am very romatic (not 24/7) but at times and even then while the closeness is wonderfull, the physical part of it is just methodical to the point of being, dare I say, boring. Is this as good as it gets? Are there any long timers out there with ideas to rekindle the seductive juices in a marriage? or are we just to snuggle and cuddle ourselves into old age bliss?

2007-07-16 06:43:04 · 21 answers · asked by ? 2

why would my husband want to masturbate to online porn instead of having sex with me. he always says he is too tired. i am attractive and physically fit. we have no kids. what is the deal?

2007-07-16 06:27:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

We watch p0rn together. Mostly girl/girl action, which is fine by me. Watch do you do for added spice?

2007-07-16 06:07:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I feel like my husband is a diiferent person when he's around me. I see when he's around his friends and coworkers, and he has a good time and he has a ton of stories to talk about. But when he is alone with me....he never has anything much to say. I try to show that I'm also intrested in what he has to say, but it just dosen't work. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying to make this work. It feels like he has given up. Like he's tired of me being around. I don't know what else i can do anymore.

2007-07-16 06:04:15 · 17 answers · asked by shannonh021 1

Lately our marriage has been running on a short fuse, it's like anything could spark a fire, I hardly talk to him since I can sense an argument if I make a mistake, I feel like I'm going crazy, I became so afraid of him, last month we argued, he put his hand on my neck( it was the first time he did anything like that) Yesterday, I caught him in a bad moment, he barked at me like a mad animal. We stayed in a different room at night because, he complains I rolled around too much on the bed. It feels like I'm going to step on a time bomb when I'm around him, since he picks on every details.
What do you do in your marriage if you feel like you need a break?

2007-07-16 06:01:05 · 23 answers · asked by 結縁 Heemei 5

In the case of having a husband that was cool with the idea of you having a female as a partner then gives you an altimatium to choose between them... you love having both in your llife but now it comes down to a choice and you think you might perfer to be in a relationship with the female because u might be more lesbian than bi-sexual still you are not quite sure...keeping in mind that you have been married an involve with your husband for almost 15yrs but you always knew that you liked females too..

2007-07-16 06:00:19 · 25 answers · asked by sassy 2