why would my husband want to masturbate to online porn instead of having sex with me. he always says he is too tired. i am attractive and physically fit. we have no kids. what is the deal?
2007-07-16 06:27:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It does indeed take considerably less effort, usually, to masturbate to porn than to go to the trouble of seducing one's wife. It's all the lead-up and seduction that's the tiring part. Apparently, you don't make it easy on him.
When was the last time you said, "Let's have sex."? I mean, just pull your shirt open and stick a nipple in his mouth, screw the foreplay sex? And are you OK with a quickie? Or do you make him pleasure you and make it last for a long time? When was the last time you saw him watching TV, walked up to him, pulled out his penis and mouthed him to orgasm without him having to do anything at all?
Don't get me wrong, usually it's best to have a nice, long sex session, including foreplay and post-coital cuddling. Sometimes, though, a man just wants to get off. If you make it easy for him to get off when that's all he wants, he won't need to masturbate to porn.
2007-07-16 06:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Happy-2 hit the nail on the head.
Masturbation does take less effort than sex. Sometimes my husband and I are so tired that we will just lay in bed together and masturbate because actually rolling over and having sex would just be too much effort.
Water and men take the same path. That path is the path of least resistance. If having sex with you is a hassle he won't bother to have sex with you. If you want all of your love making sessions to be hours long then you expect too much. What happened to an easy f**k? A quickie? The quick and dirty? Where is the fun? Where is the spontaneity? Where is the "He doesn't have to work hard but still feels good" sex?
In general, if your needs are being met then you shouldn't have an issue with his masturbation. If your needs aren't being met you need to talk with him about way to get your needs met that would easily coincide with his needs. COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE!
In the end, a little self-pleasure time is normal and natural. It is a welcome addition to a healthy sex life but it is a poor replacement for the real thing. If he never has sex with you and chooses masturbation over sex with you no matter how easy you make it there are other issues involved here that will require therapy.
2007-07-16 07:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he has a fetish or secret fantasy that he's afraid/not comfortable sharing with you?
Maybe ask him to just once watch it together and see how it goes? Then see if you can get him to show you what he likes and then go from there! It may be that before long the only porn that is watched is with the two of you together.
2007-07-16 06:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 reasons has nothing to do how u look or what u do
too lazy to do the real thing too much work for foreplay especially if hes tired just wants to un load... one day if u see him watching porn just go over and jerk him off or bj with no strings attactched after hes done just walk away....
the only thing better than p*ssy is new p*ssy... by watching these other girls he is getting new p*ssy even if he really isnt. let him have this outlet as long as thats all it is
2007-07-16 07:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to him. Talk to him about how you feel. Ask him how he feels. Maybe there's a fantasy that he's always had that the porn is an outlet for that you can help him with (if it's appropriate & you're comfortable with it). Has your sex life become routine? Could you spice it up some?
If talking to him doesn't work, you should go to counseling (couples & both individually) to get some help.
2007-07-16 06:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by StacieG 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not sure how long you've been married, but it may have become a little routine for him. Ask him to show you what he's been watching. It may excite him to have you watch with him. Try hard not to be judgemental about it. If you can ask him sincerely what he likes about it, you may get an honest answer and some insight into your problem. Try to find something you both enjoy watching. If you see something you've never done that seems to appeal to him, ask if he'd like to try it with you. You can always use some fresh ideas in your love life. Good luck to you.
2007-07-16 07:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes it's quicker and easier for them to just masturbate to on-line porn.
They don't have to fool around with wondering if we're in the mood or trying to figure out how to get us in the mood, they don't have to "waste time" with foreplay and cuddling after wards.
Sometimes men are just in the mood for a "quickie" and they know that we're worth more than that!
2007-07-16 06:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he doesn't feel 100% expressing his sexual fantasies w/you and he feels it's easier to do it over the internet w/someone he doens't know....has that mysterious factor.....the grass is greener on the other side, maybe that's the way he thinks.....you're his wife, so maybe he thinks of you as a wife, not a slutty person he can jack off to.
2007-07-16 06:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by anonymous100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people have lust in their minds. at times people are also tired of the real life sex (yes there are such people around - look in an online chat forum - you will find lots of them). your hubby would not be happy somewhere with you and the sex that he has with you. try to find the reason out. try to be sexy as what your hubby would want in an online relationship. look at what he likes his woman to be. results may be good.
xxx
tom
bh37bh37@yahoo.com
2007-07-16 06:34:01 · answer #9 · answered by bh37bh37 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hes a man if he does this once in a while then cut him some slack, if its obsesive then there is a problem, if he is complety not having sex with you, then that's another problem, but if its occasional and he still makes love to you, then I think its okay. Why dont you watch the porn with him?
2007-07-16 06:34:43 · answer #10 · answered by ana c 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋