I am 24, married and professionally successful lady. I had a courtship of 4 years before i tied the knot with the man i loved. As all relationships have their bad phases, we had them too and did stand the test of time. But since 2005, an incident did hurt me badly. Though i continued with this marriage, out of social compulsion i started believing that i wont b able to love this person so dearly than before. In the mean time i developed feelings for a guy who had loved me dearly since 2002 but i never responded. But since 2005 i fell for him when i saw his undying love for me even after so many years of not responding. Now i am in greta dilemma. Not even a single day passes without his thought but i cant leave my husband either. I feel like committing suicide since neither do i want to betray my husband nor betray the guy who till date loves me dearly.PLEASE HELP. Whats should i do
2007-07-16 07:54:30 · 12 answers · asked by Resonance 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Suicide is not the solution to your problem. You are only 24 and you never know what happiness you might be passing up by ending your life.
Make a decision about where your heart is and stick to it. You have to be true to yourself. You get one spin on this earth, make sure that you spned that time well.
2007-07-16 08:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to stick with your husband and see his undying love for you like you said every relationship goes through it and you know there isn't a wife that I have talked to that hasn't said why did I marry this man. The grass is always greener on the other side. My husband and I have gone through a rough time almost since the day we were married just with life stuff, but we are coming out of it and there were times during that period where I though of suicide and thought of leaving, but what helps a marriage grow is endurance after all isn't that was "until death do us part" really means.
2007-07-16 15:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by Justice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all go get some psych help, immediately! Even the mere thought of suicide, is not a game, if u really feel like u could do it, GET HELP!
2nd... Decide if this is a marriage u want to be in. U don't have to leave him for this other guy. But u need to decide if this is a healthy marriage.
3rd...If u decide to get out the marriage, wait b4 u get involved with anyone. Other wise the "rebound" action could do an immense amount of damage to you emotionally.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-07-16 15:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, there is no problem that can't be solved. Suicide is silly, but easy way out. You have a right to be happy, and I am sure your husband would rather have you leave than be dead. I would get some counseling. Take a walk in a grave yard and ask if anyone of them wouldn't trade places with you including take over your problems. Good luck.
2007-07-16 14:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a friend to the other guy and a wife to your husband. It's ok to like people in different ways. Be honest with him about your commitment to your husband and that will make it much better than tyring to ignore him etc. Suicide is a terrible thought and will just hurt everyone. The worst solution.
GL
2007-07-16 15:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by good friend 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with your husband and discuss the sitution between you and him. do not talk about the other guy!!!
maybe you should get some marriage counciling to repair any married doubts. give your marriage a second try, if it does not work out then come to a mutual agreement with your husband to separate and divorce. sounds final, yes it is. no point in continuing in an unhappy relationship. once free then start to socialize and see whether the other guy or guys are a good future match. bottom line is do not mess around with another guy while you are still married.........................best of luck ..........wally
2007-07-16 15:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by wally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a professional don't you honor you commitments? If you didn't, you wouldn't be where you are now. So why aren't you honoring the one you made to your husband? You can't have both!! You either stay with your husband or leave him for the other man. It's a decision only you can make, make it soon, and stand committed to it!!!!
2007-07-16 15:05:15 · answer #7 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get into marriage couseling and cut off contact with the other guy. You might not want to hurt him, but you made a vow and commitment to your marriage, so that should come befre hurting the feelings of the other guy.
2007-07-16 14:58:10 · answer #8 · answered by jbird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is easy. Do whatever you would want your husband to do if the shoe was on the other foot. You know, that inconvenient 'golden rule.' I hope you make the right choice. I will pray for you as soon as I post this answer.
2007-07-16 15:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Zuker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a mental health professional. You are terribly conflicted. A mental health professional will help you solve the problem.
2007-07-16 15:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋