Okay my husband just told me that he wants to join the army. the reason he wants to join is for the sign on bonus to help with the debt we are in. now he understands that this is not a quick way out of debt buts a solution to the problem for now. I dont want him to go but i will support him with what ever decision he makes.
I have 4 family members in the military now and 2 are in Iraq. 1 is about to be deployed and the other is not allowed back into the middle east because of certain issues concerning his health. all of these family members say let him go but i dont want to see to get killed and im left with 2 children to raise on my own.
he is thinking about going reserve so that he can be with us most of the time but all reservist that I have known have been deployed or they are about to go for there 2nd or 3rd tour.
2007-07-16 08:27:32 · 9 answers · asked by Becky 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do have a job
2007-07-16 08:34:24 · update #1
Let him join! My husband was offered a $12,000 signing bonus and it helped us get back on our feet (we were both college students with a mountain of debt). He joined at the beginning of his senior year, stayed in 8 years (6 active duty, 2 National Guard) and has graduated! He now has enough money through his GI bill to get his Masters and part of his Doctorate! Yes, he deployed 4 times during that time - but thankfully no more than 8 months at a time.
Yes, there will be difficult times rearing 2 children alone, but with technology today, you will be able to keep in contact with him virtually at all times! You can do it!
God bless!!!
2007-07-16 08:34:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As an ex-army man who served in Viet-Nam for
3yrs and stayed in the military for 22yrs, Time will
tell if it is your time to go or not. You have to be
strong at times like this and support him. Yes it
will be stressful but it can also releive you of some
debt a lot quicker. He can join and then when his
time is up he can get out or stay in. To be up and
frank about it. the life insurance policy in the mili-
tary is pretty good now. That's just to say if any-
thing was to happen to him you and your children
would have enough to go a long way without de-
pending on anyone. It is a decision that you and
him should make and there are benefits and there
are worries, and with that you and him will have to
come to a conclusion. Good luck and God speed.
2007-07-16 16:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your husband would be enlisting for the absolute most WRONG reasons. If you had said he wanted to serve his country or that he felt it his patriotic obligation, or something of that sort, I would have been 100% supportive. However, needing financial assistance is NOT a reason to do this. There are MORE debts incurred during military service than are solved, believe it or not!
Consider getting debt counseling. If its something you can manage then perhaps you can get your debt paid down quicker.
And just so you know, when a person's time on this earth is done, it doesn't matter if he dies in the deserts of Iraq or Afghanistan, or if he's crossing a street & gets smacked by a bus. Keeping him here to keep him "safe" is irrational.
Many thousands of men and women (my husband included) have gone to war and have come back whole and healthy.
But my final word is that he should join the military because he wants to do something productive for his country; not to get out of debt. That can be more easily done with less commitment by getting a 2nd (part time) job.
2007-07-16 08:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The reservists are ALWAYS the first ones to go.
The stress you will feel having a husband in the military will probably be far more than any debt you may have. It will also be a huge stress to your marriage.
How bad is your debt? Have you consolidated your cards? Maybe you could pick up some work on the side babysitting or something while you're home with your kids. They make a bundle.
Good luck.
2007-07-16 08:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Yogi 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just because he joins the army doesn't mean he will get killed. I joined for the same reasons but now looking back I wouldn't have joined the army I would have joined the air force. I applaud you for standing by your man. My first wife hated the military and left while I was deployed. The army isn't bad and it isn't for everyone. I understand your concern but have faith and all will be fine. Reserves are good. I am active and on my second deployment
Good Luck!!
2007-07-16 08:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by me2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the first answer.
If you want to support your man, then fing and evening job or a part time job so you can get out of debt without him risking his life in a foreing land.
Good luck
2007-07-16 08:37:17 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
living the military life is no joke! people take it to lightly and having a familiy with someone being in the service is very difficult, i am speaking from my own experience. money can not make up for the lonely nights and the birthdays/holidays without the one you want to spend your life with. besied all the worries if they are ok during deployment. i rather have less money and can wake up next to my husband every day.
2007-07-16 09:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by not this way 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are not okay with it, tell him that. He is going for you... and if you are not okay with it, tell him. There are many other ways to get out of debt without killing yourself. And if you are not alright with the idea, it will lead to problems later on. Dont argue, just express.
2007-07-16 08:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try getting a job yourself. Get a better job.
2007-07-16 08:30:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋