My on and off bf of ten years and I have broken up for good. I moved over 1,000 miles away hoping it would help me get over it but it hasn't. I feel completely awful and am so unhappy and depressed. I think about him all the time and it occupies all of my time. He cheated on me and lied to me numerous times, so why is it so hard to get over someone that treats you bad anyways? I feel like a lost a piece of myself and that I will never feel whole or normal again. I try to do things to occupy my time and thoughts but nothing works. He still calls me everyday and I talk to him but that just makes me upset, but I wonder why is he still calling me everyday. I don't know if I should talk to him or ignore him or what. I feel like I am going crazy and don't know how to get my normal fun self back. Any adivce, suggestions, ideas, or opinions would be appreciated.
2007-07-16 06:50:27 · 9 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know just how you are feeling when i fount out my husband was cheating on me,at that very moment i was drained of all my happiness.I remember standing in the shower crying so hard and yawning at the same time because i was so drained of all my energy.I was leaning against the back wall with the water just hitting my face, I said to God please don't let me wake up tomorrow because my heart hurts so bad please take this pain away. Now i understand why they call it a broken heart because you can actually feel your heart braking .I stopped everything cleaning ,cooking, washing the clothes.When i went into the bathroom i wouldn't come out until at least 3 hours later. I went to the doctors and he put me on Zoloft immediately. Within 7 day i could not believe the difference in me,i was actually happy and smiling even though nothing had changed with my husband and i. That's about the only thing that will help you get through this nightmare your in.Give the pill a try what do you have to lose but your sadness.
2007-07-16 11:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still feel the deep attraction that was there over those 10 years. That attraction was so intense that you took him back over and over again, even when you knew you shouldn't have. The feeling of attraction is so addicting. He obviously has the same attraction for you if he continues to call you. You are obviously trying to get over him if you moved away but you continue to take his calls and it only frustrates you because you know better. Consider getting back together. Talk to him. Ask him what he wants. You tell him what you want and do not budge or compromise. If he says it is his way or no way tell him to take a hike and DO NOT take his phone calls, texts anything! for a few days and see what happens. Be strong. If it doesn't work out, the best way to forget him for good is to find another guy ASAP! It sounds bad but it works.
2007-07-16 07:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't expect to get over someone you were with for 10 years right away - it's going to take years for you to heal. But in order to speed up the process you should stop all contact with him. What was the point of moving so far away if you are just going to keep communicating with him anyway? My husband left me after were had dated/been married for 5 years and I was devastated. He cut off all communication with me and even though it hurts me not to even have his friendship, I know I am better off for it. You should also be seeing a counselor to help you through this - I saw one for about 6 months an it really helped me put my life in perspective. Good luck!
2007-07-16 06:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by alyanna99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ignore the calls-by talking to him daily you will never move on. Only thing that will heal you is time. Keep on doing things that you like to do such as getting your nails done, or hair done, go shopping, go to lunch with girl friends, read books, anything to keep your mind off him. It will be a very long painful process but you can do it. This is normal to feel this terrible about it at first. I know how you feel. But talking to him will only pro-long your pain. You are doing the right thing.
2007-07-16 07:07:17 · answer #4 · answered by Yellowtulips 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some counseling. This is not a put down. You need to get on with your life. Is help is required, then get it.
God never intended for you to lead a half life, wondering in the lost desert of what might have been.
You have value. Take care of yourself.
2007-07-16 06:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by Randy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore the calls. you did lose part of your life. like you said it was 10 years. time to start going out and having a good time. find a new guy. even if he does not look perfect. you need a new life now. go make it.
2007-07-16 06:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by Yes I am here!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to stop taking his calls and to ask him to please no longer contact you.
Then get on with your life. Throw yourself into your hobbies and work until you are comfortable dating again or until a guy you are interested in pops into your life.
Also, just know others have gone through the same thing. You WILL be fine.
2007-07-16 07:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by Matt G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jsut go back to him,,, and stop b i t c h i n g so much....
you like him the way he is... so he cheated and lied to you,, so what! that happens all the time....
you can't stop thining about him casue after all that lieing and cheating,,, he is a man... and he treats you better than anyone else can when you are together...
so just take care of him in the kitchen and in the bedroom... and you will be fine...
tell him you wanna get married,, and see what happens....
2007-07-16 06:57:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will make it through it, sunshine is never to far. You surely can do it. Just reach up and touch the star. Their is nothing to it. It is not that hard. You just have to keep on moving. Sunshine is not that far. You just have to keep on moving. And you will reach the star.
2007-07-16 06:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by calltoperservence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋