Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, lumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

2007-01-24 19:17:19 · 11 answers · asked by gretz_2324 2

three people get a hotel room for 30 dollars. they each pay 10 bucks for the room. the bell hop realizes the room was only 25 dollars. he gives the other bell hop 5 dollars to take up to the three people. on the way to the room he puts two of the five dollars in his pocket for himself.
when he gets to the room he tell the people, the room was a little cheaper here is three dollars back. so if each person gets a dollar back then they each really only paid 9 dollars each for the room. so $9 x 3= $27. the bell hop only put 2 dollars in his pocket. so
$27+$2 = $29. WHERE IS THE LAST DOLLAR?

2007-01-24 19:10:46 · 5 answers · asked by itsthen1370 2

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. The bartender feel a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them.
He asks the first duck, "What's your name?""Huey," replies the duck. "So, how's your day been?""Oh, I've had a great day," replies Huey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day."
The bartender asks the second duck, "What's your name?" "Duey," replies the duck."So, how's your day been?" "Oh, I've had a great day," replies Duey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day."
The witty bartender says to the third duck, "So I guess your name is Louie?" The duck replies, "No, I'm Puddles."

2007-01-24 19:02:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says \'Thank you\' and walks out.

2007-01-24 18:58:21 · 9 answers · asked by Kozhiii 1

There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work.Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it\'s raining! Why

2007-01-24 18:57:30 · 13 answers · asked by Kozhiii 1

made Stars and sun -- and rested
second day HE made the planets and earth -- and rested
3rd day He made Oceans /land--- and rested
4th day He made birds and animals--- and rested
5th day He made fishes and aquatic plants--- and rested
6th day He made MAN -- and rested
SEVENTH day GOD made WOMAN-- and neither GOD nor MAN has RESTED SINCE THEN.

2007-01-24 18:47:11 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-24 18:46:32 · 4 answers · asked by mrbud4202002 2

2007-01-24 18:43:58 · 21 answers · asked by mrbud4202002 2

ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!

1.. You walka pasta da bakery.

2.. You walka pasta da candy store.

3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.

4... You walka pasta da table and fridge.

You will lose weight!

AND......

CONCERNED ABOUT! TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?

For those of you who watch what you eat,
Heres the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you

2007-01-24 18:18:01 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Deep, dark, underground, That is the place where I'll be found. Yet brought into the light of day, I sprinkle sunlight every-which-a-way. Though dulled with oil I will be found, I am remarkably well and throughly sound. Cut me quick and it will be seen, That I instantly have a marvelous sheen...

what am i???

2007-01-24 17:51:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-24 17:47:55 · 10 answers · asked by likes2bite 1

Cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind the stars and beneath the hills. It end life and kills laughter. What is it?

2007-01-24 17:39:04 · 13 answers · asked by blondegirl2299888 1

Anyone got good pranks that are rated pg-13 and lower? haha, I wanna get all my friends and the teachers because they started picking on me and stuff.


Any good ideas?

2007-01-24 17:16:24 · 4 answers · asked by Soung 3

It's half time at the annual Forest Football Classic, and the big animals are trouncing the little animals 21-3. The team captain for the little animals, the squirrel, had a less than receptive pep talk in the locker room. With minimal enthusiasm, the little animals head out to the field to kickoff to the big animals for the 2nd half.

The ball is taken at the 20 by the moose. He gets to the 25 and is knocked flat on his back. In the huddle, the squirrel asks, "Who put the hit on the moose?!" "I did" said the centipede. First down is a running play with the elk up the middle and he's knocked down after a two yard gain. "Who did that one?!" asked the squirrel. "I did" said the bug. 2nd down goes the same with another 2 yard gain.

On 3rd down, the QB for the big animals, the bear, is knocked flat for an 8 yard loss. "Was that you again, bug?" Asked the squirrel. "Yep!" he said. "Well where the hell were you in the 1st half?!" The centipede replies, "Putting on my shin guards!"

2007-01-24 17:12:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ben Lives in a 20 story building and every morning her rides the elevator to the ground floor but every afternoon he rides the elevator to the 10th floor and takes the stairs the rest of the way to his 16th floor appartment why?

2007-01-24 17:11:38 · 16 answers · asked by Missty Rain 2

what do u call cockroach poo?

2007-01-24 17:02:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-24 16:54:58 · 8 answers · asked by ~*.::. sAy--wAatT.:.*~ 2

my boss is quite quick, ussually i am left with nothing to say after he says something witty. i need you guys to give me some good insults or comebacks to suirprise him with.

2007-01-24 16:31:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?

2007-01-24 16:21:54 · 20 answers · asked by Krystina 3

what is kept on the table,then cut and served;
but never eaten.

2007-01-24 16:21:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-24 16:20:29 · 14 answers · asked by gibson_smark 3

Tell her she's pregnant!

2007-01-24 16:05:34 · 15 answers · asked by rain 1

Local yale professors Dr. sandwich and Dr. cars bump into each other on Telegraph Ave. They haven't seen each other since Nam'.

Sandwich: hey! how have you been?
Cars: great! i got married and i have three daughters now
Sandwich: i didnt know that?! how old are they
Cars: well, the product of their ages is 72, and the sum of their ages is the same as the number on that building over there..
Sandwich: right, ok ... oh wait ... hmm, i really dont know
Cars: oh im sorry, my oldest one just started to play the piano
Sandwich: great! my eldest is the same age!

how old are the dauters?

2007-01-24 16:00:59 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

He is pretty dang funny - he was saying something like "when you're talking to someone, and you say that 'I like children', be careful that you're not being too specific... you can't be saying 'I like twelve-year-olds'."

2007-01-24 15:57:55 · 2 answers · asked by sincere12_26 4

On cold night during December, the local police of a small town were called up to examine a murder scene. It was in a small cabin nestled in the woods. The body was found in the fireplace and had stab wounds, but no weapons were found. Plus, there was no obvious motive. The only thing near the body was a puddle of bloody water. When a the dead mans gardener was brought in for questioning, he said he didn't murder him. But the door was locked, and the only two keys were kept by the gardener and the dead man. The key was found on the man, so the only one who could have got in without forced entry was the gardener.... If the gardener was telling the truth, how did the cabin owner die??

2007-01-24 15:53:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. a solid room. the only things in this room is a mirror and a table. how do you excape?

2007-01-24 15:51:29 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I know you've heard it, but i'm looking for a specific answer. I want to see if anyone will get it haha

2007-01-24 15:43:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-24 15:37:26 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous

Which one of these words do not belong in the list?

DELICATE
DOGGED
MILLION
HOWL
DETAIL
GULLIBLE

2007-01-24 15:28:27 · 24 answers · asked by pikachu is love. 5

My friend just asked me if I knew where is a good place to eat.

I Told him "Between Legs", It just opened up! lmao

2007-01-24 15:24:10 · 10 answers · asked by G-BOY 4