Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

There are two fathers and two sons at the breakfast table. There are only three boiled eggs...how do all of them manage to get a whole boiled egg for their breakfast?

2006-10-01 04:41:52 · 12 answers · asked by ♥Pamela♥ 7

2006-10-01 04:30:21 · 10 answers · asked by ? 4

I've asked this to a number of people and no one’s gotten it...yet.

"In a kingdom far away there was a king, queen, and a prince. Everyone loved the queen and prince, but everyone hated the king. Because of jealousy the king poisoned the queen and framed the young prince. Back then the way they judged guilt or innocence was to put a Green grape and a Purple grape in a bag. The accused would reach into the bag and pull one out. If it was green, he was innocent. If it was purple, he was guilty. The Prince stood in the great hall in front of the king and his guards and his advisors. It was time to choose a grape, but he knew that the evil king put two purple grapes in the bag. HOW DID THE PRINCE PROVE HIS INNOCENCE?

2006-10-01 04:02:01 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-01 03:55:46 · 2 answers · asked by kim m 1

I am thinking of a 3 letter word, 1st to guess it correctly gets the 10.
If a person has 2 or more guesses, then i will only take their first guess.

It is NOT a persons name.

2006-10-01 03:52:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Find the missing word. If a person has 2 or more guesses, then i will only take their first guess.

1: Loose ______ sink ships.

2006-10-01 03:50:22 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 20, 1st to get it right wins.
If a person has 2 or more guesses, then i will only take their first guess.

2006-10-01 03:45:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to IM people and to post on my roommate Jesus as in "heyzues" the Spanish name? I mean really, people think of me as a bit daft when I say Jesus is sleeping in my spare bedroom. Peace.

2006-10-01 03:45:05 · 21 answers · asked by -Tequila17 6

Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"

One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!"

The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!"

2006-10-01 03:27:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-01 03:11:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

An old lady wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her dead cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pu^ssy." The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
********
Doctor: "Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS." Husband: "How can we find out which?" Doctor: "I need you to run a little experiment this weekend. Take your wife to a park and leave her there. If she finds her way home; don't sleep with her."

2006-10-01 03:07:35 · 20 answers · asked by Pd 6

2006-10-01 03:07:10 · 20 answers · asked by georged9074 1

well is it??

2006-10-01 02:50:22 · 43 answers · asked by Matt d 2

2006-10-01 02:46:53 · 18 answers · asked by pitbullcopper2004 5

2006-10-01 02:09:40 · 7 answers · asked by guys kicker 1

correct answers will be selected for final voting.

2006-10-01 02:08:18 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whoever gives me 5 of the funniest questions to ponder, voted by me, gets the 10 points.
I'll get you started.

1) If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

2)If a stealth bomber crashes in the woods, does it make a sound?

3)Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

4) What do they use to ship styrofoam?

5)Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afrais someone might clean them?

2006-10-01 02:05:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-01 02:00:52 · 14 answers · asked by guys kicker 1

2006-10-01 01:53:42 · 15 answers · asked by guys kicker 1

ELEVEN MINUS SIX
13 x 3 + 2
12 + 9

2006-10-01 01:47:11 · 9 answers · asked by msj2uk 3

these r not meant to b racist
jamacan man called winston say to his wife
"wife its time u went to the doctor"
wife"idont need to see the doctor"
husband "yes woman u need to see the doctor"
they argue 4a bit she agrees to go
wen she gets bac husband asks wat the doctor said
"wat did the dotor say about ur big ugly hairy face"
wife"the doctor say my big ugly hairy face is fine"
husband "wat did the doctor say bout ur big fat saggy t**s"
wife "he said my big fat saggy t**s r fine"
husband "wat did the doctor say bout ur big fat wobbly ar*e"
wife "he didnt mention u"

father and son on a plane the captain comes down and says sorry we are experiencing problems we are going to hav to ask anyone wif names begginging wif a b c to evacuate via exits to my left and right the arabs blacks and coons
little boy turns to his dad and says dad thats us dad turns to son and says no son 2day we are wogs
any body got any others jot then down
i say again these are not racist jokes

2006-10-01 01:43:09 · 19 answers · asked by hayz 2

hwy thought id open this so ppl can come along and write short jokes no long ones plz short and sweet

whats grey has 4 legs and a trunk
a mouse goin on holiday

if 2 company 3 a crowd wats the definition of 4 and 5
9

how do u keep a muppet in suspence
ill tell u 2moro
happy jokin hope evryone will give each other thumbs up ill b reading so hope ill b laughin cheers

2006-10-01 01:23:07 · 41 answers · asked by hayz 2

could we smoke the same bag like 20 times over? could we eat the same pizza three times? what would you go back and do? i would make my self rich and famous!!!! then i would take over the world muhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha. so what are we going to do tonight kitty?, ( inside joke ha hhaa, ) the same thing we do every night cheesesteak. whats that kitty? to take over the world!!

2006-10-01 01:12:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-01 01:07:32 · 7 answers · asked by jay c 1

please?

2006-10-01 00:56:11 · 8 answers · asked by hey_finny 3

2006-10-01 00:54:40 · 10 answers · asked by Calvin James Hammer 6

I really do love this country, but...

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.

2006-10-01 00:34:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

TYPICAL NEWFIE BABY!!!!! A Newfoundlander is drinking in a New York bar when he
gets a call on his cell phone
When the call ends, he orders drinks for
everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife
has just produced a
typical Newfoundland baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at
25 pounds, but the
Newfoundlander just shrugs, "That's about average up
North, folks...like I
said - my boy's a typical Newfoundland baby boy."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many
exclamations of
WOW"! Were heard. One woman actually fainted due to
sympathy pains.
Two weeks later the Newfoundlander returns to the bar.
The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that
typical Newfoundland
baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you?
Everybody's been making'
bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna
call you....... so
how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers,
”Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What
happened? He already weighed
25 pounds the day he was born."
The Newfoundland father takes a slow swig from his
Black Horse beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the
bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised".
God Bless Newfoundland!!!

2006-10-01 00:31:36 · 7 answers · asked by babyblue 2

A friend of mine was a royalist. So I fixed his toilet so when he sat down it would play "God save the queeen"

2006-10-01 00:25:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN.
* Wine her,
* Dine her,
* Call her,
* Hug her,
* Support her,
* Hold her,
* Surprise her,
* Compliment her,
* Smile at her,
* Listen to her,
* Laugh with her,
* Cry with her,
* Romance her,
* Encourage her,
* Believe in her,
* Pray with her,
* Pray for her,
* Cuddle with her,
* Shop with her,
* Give her jewelry,
* Buy her flowers,
* Hold her hand,
* Write love letters to her,
* Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.


HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
* Show up naked ...
* Bring food ...
* Don't block the TV

2006-10-01 00:21:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous