2006-10-01 03:07:10 · 20 answers · asked by georged9074 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
go in front of everyone and say " ur mom" and then sit down..
2006-10-01 03:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by andralynn147 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Erm... you dont seriously think a good ol' knock, knock joke is going to go down well at a wedding do you???
Jesus christ. How about just be sarcastic about your son's upbringing and take the piss a bit but obviously in a friendly manner.
That's usually a guaranteed gafor, assuming the language and timing is right...
And unfortunately, i dont know enough about you or your son's history to help you out.
2006-10-01 10:12:02 · answer #2 · answered by bobby t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some tips for retirement planning from an expert in the industry:
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock three years ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
With Global Crossing, you would have $0.00 left.
But if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer three years ago,
drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum
recycling REFUND, you would have $614.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
2006-10-01 12:52:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i know you said clean this is not a dirty one just funny but it could do with a wet wipe small kids in school doing business studdies, teacher asks, "who knows how to make money?" Timmy replies ,"me miss i would cover myself in gold scrape it of weigh it in bingo im rich johnny does the same but with platinum ERIC said i would cover myself in pubic hair why asked miss well my sister has a patch this big and you want to see the cars outside her house. you can add more to it giving the kids characters eg when you speak and a funny voice for teacher well good luck and when you are drunk if you do not use it on the day i am sure it will come out at s ome point
2006-10-01 16:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by Debs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the 2nd church event I have taken my small daughter too. The first was a christening. When she came to this wedding she asked "Where is the baby"
2006-10-01 14:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once came across a joke book for public speakers in our local library in the humour section. I would suggest you try your own library - the librarian's can probably point you in the right direction or order one for you from the inter-library service if they don't have it.
2006-10-02 08:28:40 · answer #6 · answered by felineroche 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get speeches on line, but you need to pay for them.
Use stuff like " not gaining a daughter, but losing a mobile trashcan and fridge emptier.
Keep it mildly insulting but not filthy.
2006-10-01 10:48:27 · answer #7 · answered by NEIL C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would stand up and say what my dad said at mine, HE said sorry folks i wrote my speech out on a piece of toilet roll, and some one has used it, done the trick for him. Wishing your family and your son and his knew wife to be all the best off luck
2006-10-01 13:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
D T, there might be a joke in there somewhere but your lack of punctuation completely obscured it for me - why don't you go back to school?
2006-10-01 18:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by Gobbledygook 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bob
2006-10-01 10:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by Confused?! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i cant think of any jokes but at my wedding my dad spoke of how wonderful it was that my hubby and i met at a convention and how everyone should go to them yo meet there love!!! i was so embarassed.
2006-10-01 15:46:57 · answer #11 · answered by welshwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋