Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

has to be hilarious! :)

2006-09-24 13:35:36 · 18 answers · asked by LO 3

one day an inquisitive little boy went to his mother and asked, 'mommy, what’s a p-u-s-s-y?'
the mother took him out to the neighbors house and showed her son their kitten. the next day the boy pulled on his mothers apron and asked, 'mommy, what’s a b-I-t-c-h?' the mother took him to the park, and walked around until she found a dog, 'there you go,' she said pointing to it. 'this is a dog. a female dog is a b-I-t-c-h.' the next day the boy sought confirmation from his father. 'dad, what’s a p-u-s-s-y?' his father knelt down beside the bed, pulled out an issue of playboy and drew a circle around the middle section of one of the naked women. 'son, that is a p-u-s-s-y.'
'oh,' said the boy
'what’s a b-I-t-ch then?'
'everything outside of the circle,' replied his father

2006-09-24 13:26:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I really want ot know a well thought out, knee slapper joke. For example:
Why are there no Mexican Olympics?

Every Mexican that can run, jump, or swim is in the US!

PS
I am not racist, Ijust tought that was a RIOT!

2006-09-24 13:23:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was surprised to fing out that Cognito wasn't a place. Surely, some one else has had the same misunderstanding.

2006-09-24 13:15:03 · 10 answers · asked by Teaim 6

nice t-I-t-s

2006-09-24 13:08:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is is just me or aren't the jokes and riddles on this things supposed to give us a chance to answer? I like to try and guess the answer and many times, people put them right there? Maybe this is a dumb blonde question.

2006-09-24 12:47:43 · 9 answers · asked by Serendipity 3

the man a jar to put the sample in. Two days later the man goes back to the dr. He says"Doc I couldn't give you no semen sample. I went home and I tried and then my wife tried, then she used her mouth and she tried with her teeth in and then with her teeth out. No luck. We called the lady downstairs and she tried and then she used her mouth again with her teeth in and her teeth out. And she couldn't do it. No matter what we did, we just can't get the top off this jar.

2006-09-24 12:31:17 · 15 answers · asked by al p 3

made her chain too long

2006-09-24 12:30:00 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-24 12:16:21 · 14 answers · asked by jayar529 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d-qsnMPC0g&mode=related&search=

2006-09-24 12:09:09 · 13 answers · asked by Arts 6

because if they dragged them by the feet, they would fill up with mud

2006-09-24 12:08:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-24 12:03:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

the sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up

2006-09-24 12:00:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

marry it!

2006-09-24 11:49:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

because that the color of all kitchen appliances!

2006-09-24 11:40:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

is it true that there was 5 telly tubbies?but they coundnt show the 5th one on telly? coz he was queer i heard he was called stinky winky

2006-09-24 11:35:16 · 5 answers · asked by full_strokes_baby 2

fruit salad may be cold, but at least that’s the way its meant to be

fruit salad always looks good in the morning

fruit salad doesn’t care if you fall asleep afterwards

fruit salad is cheaper

your friends aren’t interested in stealing your fruit salad

you can make fruit salad as sweet as you want

you can look at girly pictures while having fruit salad

if you put ice cream in your fruit salad, it doesn’t gain weight

fruit salad doesn’t nag

fruit salad is ready in 15 minutes or less

fruit salad doesn’t have a time of the month...its good all the time

fruit salad doesn’t steal the sheets

fruit salad doesn’t mind if you wake up at 3 a.m. and decide to have some

you can have an intelligent conversation with fruit salad

no matter how ugly you are, you can always get a bowl of fruit salad

2006-09-24 11:26:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years!

2006-09-24 11:24:27 · 11 answers · asked by mslorikaraoke 3

nothing. they both start with a b-l-o-w-j-o-b and you end up losing your house

2006-09-24 11:11:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

one turns to the other and says "hey jimmy i've just seen a cat over there on the sand do a s**t and bury it", jimmy looks amused and says "yeah they always do that" to which the first guy proclaims "what way a f***ing shovel"

2006-09-24 11:07:04 · 12 answers · asked by daftarseuk 2

josh (just an ordinary guy) and gorgeous contortionist named Eva walk into an exclusive Beverly hills furrier. 'show the girl your finest mink!' exclaims josh. as Eva tries it on, the salesman discreetly whispers to josh, 'sir, that particular fur goes for $10,000.' 'no problem! I’ll write you a check,' replies josh. certainly,' bows the salesman. 'today is Saturday. you may come buy on Monday to collect the coat once your check has cleared.'
so Eva and josh leave the furrier in raptures, headed for the nearest hotel room. first thing Monday morning, josh returns to the furrier
the salesman is outraged. 'how dare you show your face here? there wasn’t a single penny in your account!' he fumed. 'never mind that,' grinned josh. 'just wanted to thank you for the best weekend of my life

2006-09-24 11:01:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

You are walking through a field, and you find something to eat. It doesn't have bones, and it doesn't have meat. You pick it up and put it into your pocket. You take it home and put it on a shelf, but 3 day's later it walks away. What is it?


GOOD LUCK!

2006-09-24 10:43:26 · 20 answers · asked by .oh snap.london bridge.oh snap. 3

a bachelor

2006-09-24 10:41:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman takes advise from her mother on how to calm here insatiable husband
← previous next →
Shortly after her wedding, the newlywed wife is complaining to her mother about her husband's insatiable sexual appetite.

"He wants to do it 15 times a day, anytime, anyplace, anywhere -- on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore!"

The mother advises her daughter to tell him that she has her period, which seems like a good idea.

So that evening, when the husband comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and his wife, when she stops him.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month."

The husband gets up, looks at his wife, and says, "It's all good honey. I understand." He puts on a robe and walks away.

The wife is somewhat surprised at the mature reaction of her husband, until a few minutes later he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

So she asks, "What's going on, dear?"

"We're celebrating!" he replies.

"Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks.

"Anal sex week!"

2006-09-24 10:41:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man comes from a hard day at work
after a relaxing dinner with his wife, they decide to have an early night. as the man lies in bed, his wife is brushing her teeth in the bathroom
the man calls to his wife, 'my little boopey boo, I’m lonely.'
so the woman comes out of the bathroom and crosses the room the husband. on the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
the husband, with a concerned look on his face says, 'oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?'
the women picks herself up and gets into bed
the two have passionate sex and afterwards the woman gets up to go to the bathroom. on the way she catches her foot on the same bit of carpet and falls flat on her face
the man looks at his wife lying on the floor and snorts, 'clumsy cow, aren’t we?'

2006-09-24 10:31:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

The jokes must be squeaky clean.

2006-09-24 10:29:22 · 7 answers · asked by Granma 1

Keep this going. Copy the line before you and then add the next line.

The hubby wouldn't get off the couch to change the light bulb. To embaress him, the wife posted a question on ANSWERS: "How do I change a light bulb?"

The bad news is, she hit enter.
The good news is, a lot of people answered
the bad news is, friends saw her photo beside the question and phoned them
the good news is ...

2006-09-24 10:06:57 · 6 answers · asked by upf_geelong 3

kermit the frog with a base ball bat and knuckle dusters

2006-09-24 09:55:56 · 17 answers · asked by JAY JAY 3

one Friday night three men were standing in line at the pearly gates of heaven. St peter told the first man, 'I’m only admitting people in today who have had a really horrible death
how did you die?'
the first man replied, 'well, I got home from work early today, and my wife was acting really strange, so I figured she was cheating on me. I could hear noises coming from somewhere but I couldn’t see anyone. I went outside and, sure enough, there was this guy hanging off the balcony. I started bashing his fingers until he let go and fell. he landed in the bushes, still alive, so I rushed into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it at him.
all this caused a blood vessel in my brain to burst, killing me.'
'that sounds like a pretty bad death to me,' said St peter as he let the man in. the second man then recounted his story. 'every day I exercise on the balcony of my apartment. this morning I slipped and fell over the edge. luckily I caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. But this maniac appears, and bashes my fingers until I have to let go. I get lucky again, and land in some bushes, not too badly hurt. Then, before I know it, a fridge falls out of the sky and crushes me to death.’ Once again, St peter conceded it was a horrible death. Then the third man told his story
‘picture this,’ he began. ‘I’m lying naked inside a fridge…’

2006-09-24 09:45:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

because at 69 she had a frog in her throat.

2006-09-24 09:45:08 · 13 answers · asked by JAY JAY 3