funny jokes?

Answer 1

I hope these sites give you hours of fun in reading some of the funniest jokes around.

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml

http://www.ahajokes.com/

http://www.ahajokes.com/kids_jokes.html

http://xtraedition.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1885192.cms

http://www.byrum.org/the.web.walker/tasteless/index.html

http://www.thefunnypages.com/

http://www.johndclare.net/Russ12_Jokes.htm

http://www.landbigfish.com/jokes/default.cfm

Answer 2

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, it did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the message said, "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

Answer 3

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an
American engineer -- are working together one day. They come
across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of
you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my
son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in
Canada." Pooooof!
With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was
forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall
around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or
Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries..

The American Engineer ask's, "I am very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall". The Genie explains, "Well, it's
about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the
country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."


The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Answer 4

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,

"So you're a man,that's interesting. I'm a woman... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left,but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The man replied,
" I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued,
"And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."

Answer 5

there was a blonde a brunette and a red head (all boys) who worked in construction. One day they were sitting on a pipe the brunette said" man if i have a ham sandwitch tomorrow i am jumping off". Then the red head said" if i have a turkey sub tomorrow i am jumping off". Then the blonde said" if i have chicken noodle soup again i am jumping off". The next day they all jumped off. the wife off the brunette said" if he told me he wanted something else i would have made something else". the wife of the red head said the same. they all looked at the wife of the blonde and she saind" don't look at me he made his own lunch".

Answer 6

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My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and ratherArabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called aPrincess and I take orders from no one."

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing abeat, "Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bi*ch."

Answer 7

ok, well this is from a movie, but here it goes. There was a little boy and he was digging a hole in his backyard. His elderly lady neighbor saw him and asked why he was digging a whole. He said it was because his goldfish died. She than said that that was a big hole for a small goldfish. The little boy said, well that's because it's in your cat.

Answer 8

Q) What's dumber than 3 brunettes trying to build a house under water?

A) 3 blondes trying to burn it down.

Answer 9

One day this man brought his son a X-box
! month later the son ask this father for a X-box
360* "you know what the father did guess"

Answer 10

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because no one will stop and ask for directions.