Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - August 2006

appears offering one wish.I,d like my cat to be a handsome prince, she says. Her wish is granted.As she falls into her prince's arms,he whispers,I bet you wish now you,d never had me done!.

2006-08-17 06:58:00 · 14 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

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What do they call American biscuits in England?

In America, we have 'cookies.' Pretty much everywhere else, those same cookies are called 'biscuits.' But then what do they call OUR biscuits?

2006-08-17 06:45:44 · 14 answers · asked by Nikki 3

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can you guess this...?

What is the largest possible number you can write using only 2 digits - just 2 digits, nothing else?

first one to get it right, gets the points!!!

2006-08-17 06:39:25 · 17 answers · asked by Fatty McButterpants 5

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Have you heard about the marooned Irishman? (Joke)?

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a desert island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thought. As the speck got closer and closer he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft. Suddenly, there emerged from the surf a wet-suited, black-clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the mask, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman. She strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the Irishman, "that is so good, I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years." At this, the gorgeous blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips the pocket, removes a flask and hands it to him. The Irishman opens the flask and takes a long drink. "Tis nectar of the gods!” he exclaimed. "Tis truly fantastic!"
At this point, the beautiful blonde starts to slowly unzip the long front of her wetsuit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there, too!"

2006-08-17 06:36:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

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I am SOOOOO bored at work!!!! Anyone got any good jokes, anything to help get through the day?

2006-08-17 06:34:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here...?

and drink whatever comes out."?

2006-08-17 06:31:25 · 12 answers · asked by Mr. Christopher 2

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Ten points to the correct guesser of this...?

A frog stands at the edge of a pond, and he wants to get to the rock in the middle of the pond. Each time he hops, he travels half the distance of his previous hop. How many hops until he gets to the rock?

2006-08-17 06:30:28 · 13 answers · asked by Alyssie 2

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My hobbie is putting things on top of other things.Does anyone else have an intersting Hobby?

Damn it fell off

2006-08-17 06:29:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

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If someone has no hands, can they say "pull my toe" if they have to fart?

2006-08-17 06:28:12 · 15 answers · asked by Mr. Christopher 2

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people this is a joke:hello,my name is old man george,named frank. what i my last name?

whoever gets this rite wins mwahahahahaha

2006-08-17 06:20:43 · 10 answers · asked by katykid93 2

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I want to pull some pranks at a house party on Fridaynight gotany ideas? Please no after they fall asleep oned

2006-08-17 05:57:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Name 10 human body parts that have exactly 3 letters and get 10 points.?

***, tit, and nut does not count. Do not say toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe. Or finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger, finger. lol

2006-08-17 05:50:44 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

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This is so true and funny?

If only god was a women
Sex would smell like chocolate
Farts would smell like roses
Dogs would smell spring fresh
Babies would come from vending machines
Men would be born with permanent erection
All Women would have the same size breasts
Every food on the planet would be fat free
Men would be born with an off switch
A men's paycheck would be made payable to his wife
Men would inherit the menstrual cycle
Men would come with software to be custom designed
Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife
Men would have built in lie detector on forhead on instant verification of truth
Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches
Sex would last longer then 30secs.

2006-08-17 05:47:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

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HELP....Guess the famous phrase?

3 clues..

#1 a sheep or lamb
#2 a giant needle and thread
#3 the Reaper

what saying would you come up with, with these 3 clues

2006-08-17 05:12:23 · 9 answers · asked by WTF !!!!!!! 4

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this is too fuuny..?

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old
woman was able to give birth to a baby. When she was discharged from
the
hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a
while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the
new baby now?" "No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see
the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he
CRIES?"

"BECAUSE I forgot where I put him."

2006-08-17 05:06:51 · 36 answers · asked by Poptart 5

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How deep would the ocean be if you took all the sponge out?

2006-08-17 04:54:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Riddle: Don't let the name fool you-The Rockies ain't the stones you'd have to get over at this Cow Country Cl

to finish. This Cow Country Clash. What is it?

2006-08-17 04:44:06 · 5 answers · asked by thedoll1960 1

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Joke, anyone?

A Bad,bad rain fell in Louisiana, flooding six feet and more in some places.
Mrs. Boudreaux and Mrs Thibodeaux, (dey sister-girls, cher), are on the Boudreaux roof, waiting for help. Dey flooded Bad bad.
Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap in the water, floatin' to the house and away, back to the house and away. She said "Marie, You see dat cap goin' away an' comin' back"?
"Mais, oui, Clotilde, dat's my Boudreaux", said her sister. " I done tole dat coon_ss, He gone cut dat grass today, come hell or high water"!

2006-08-17 04:37:33 · 26 answers · asked by jfmm 7

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What if a chicken was too chicken to cross the road?

2006-08-17 04:30:01 · 21 answers · asked by theriddler 1

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It grows on trees?

riddle/mystery

2006-08-17 04:21:47 · 20 answers · asked by Fina 1

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This is a Riddle!!! Have FUN! I'll give 10 to the best answer.?

If you had 3 apples and it was 2:37 pm, and your best friend called you long distance from uranus, what kind of candy bar would you by for your purple and green kangaroo and when would you have to go to the bathroom next?

2006-08-17 04:17:17 · 21 answers · asked by Ursula 2

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