Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

entertain me....

2006-07-21 05:59:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I never figured out that one!!!!!

2006-07-21 05:58:46 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

I posted this answer for another request thought i'd share it will everyone:

I had just gotten out of the shower and still drying off when my 3 yr old burst into the room crying about something that one of his brother's had done. All of the sudden he stopped and looked at me, and asked:
"Mommy, what happened to your wee-wee"
" Nothing, why?" trying to hurry up and get dressed.

Well, what happened to your tail? I have one and Daddy, and ...

I laughed so hard, it took me about 20 minutes before I could get dressed.

2006-07-21 05:56:41 · 3 answers · asked by maria f 2

immovable stain on your flags which is a t"#t to get off and kills your plants?

2006-07-21 05:46:44 · 7 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

He who makes it does not use it.
He who buys it does not need it.
He who uses it does not know it.
What am I?

2006-07-21 05:39:35 · 10 answers · asked by Noel R 1

love many, trust few,
but always paddle you own canoe

2006-07-21 05:25:51 · 21 answers · asked by sinnedfairy 5

If the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker, then why can't I?

2006-07-21 05:19:25 · 14 answers · asked by JOHN P 1

hi, i'm just outta moood today, make me laugh pls

2006-07-21 05:17:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 05:13:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man was found hanged in a barn there is nothing in the barn but a big puddle of water underneath his feet how did he do it?

2006-07-21 05:05:23 · 23 answers · asked by rachel b 1

A fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.
"The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The fighter pilot explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties....
"The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I AM wearing panties!

" The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."

2006-07-21 04:49:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 04:42:37 · 12 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

Here's mine-
It was pouring rain yesterday, and my daughter says "I want to go be a frog in the rain". So I tell the kids that they can go outside and play in it for just a few minutes. Well, of course they had to go and put on their swimsuits, and when they come out my son (who is 6) is in the process of zipping up his life jacket, like he needed it in the rain! It was really funny.

2006-07-21 04:40:26 · 4 answers · asked by chelle 4

2006-07-21 04:40:04 · 9 answers · asked by Jumping Jack Flash 3

2006-07-21 04:35:58 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

the first joke that make me laugh the writer gets 10 points. i will enter it after 2 days from now, I think that fair enough.
Note:only one Joke.

2006-07-21 04:35:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.
The woman replied, “You are in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.
“You must be a republican,” said the balloonist.
“That’s right, I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you just told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you haven’t been much help so far.”
The woman below responded, “You must be a democrat.”
“I am,” said the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,’’ answered the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are on a lot of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

2006-07-21 04:28:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 04:27:54 · 7 answers · asked by -curbside- 4

had a bad exerience like that?

2006-07-21 04:25:34 · 6 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

While riding the range one day, a ventriloquist cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and decided to have some fun with him.

Cowboy: "Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' good."

The Indian is shocked.

Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He lets me run free twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Indian has a look of total disbelief.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how are you?"

Horse: "Good."

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" indicating the Indian again.

Horse: "Yep"

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me under a tree to protect me from the rain."

The Indian stares in utter amazement.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep is liar."

2006-07-21 04:14:00 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 04:11:43 · 8 answers · asked by -curbside- 4

okay.
1) try to touch your tongue to your elbow, is it possible?

2) your on the highway, on one side of u is a valley, on your other side is a firetruck going at the exact same speed. in front of you is a giant pig and in back is a helicopter going at ground level. how do u get out of the traffic jam?

2006-07-21 04:10:48 · 12 answers · asked by ilikepieandcrust11 1

2006-07-21 04:00:52 · 24 answers · asked by The Devil 1

My friend was really late for her appointment with the gynaecologist and although she always made a special effort over hygiene when making such visits - this tiime she really had to cut corners. She grabbed the washcloth beside the sink and gave herself a hurried clean and put the cloth into the wash machine and sped off hoping not to be late --- she made it just in time and was taken straight in. She knew the procedure, jumped on the table with legs apart and pretended she was in Paris or anywhere.
she was surprised when the doc commented that she had really made a special effort -- thought nothing more about it and was just happy that her session had finished.
When she got home her 6 year old daughter was in tears and cried 'mummy, where's my washcloth?'
She told her daughter not to worry --- just get a clean one from the cupboard.


No, No, cried her daughter - - I need the one that I left by the sink --- It had all my sparkles & glitter saved inside it !!!

2006-07-21 03:54:29 · 7 answers · asked by surdy 2

plz....no non-veg.

2006-07-21 03:50:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

With no wings, I fly. With no eyes, I see. With no arms, I climb. More frightening than any beast, stronger than any foe. I am cunning, ruthless and tall; in the end, I rule all.

2006-07-21 03:47:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 03:47:24 · 19 answers · asked by darkpony6262 3

Two nuns are out driving on a very stormy night, when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of their car. "Quick sister," screams one nun, "Show him your cross!"
So the other nun winds down the window leans out and shouts, "Oi! You! F*ck off!"

2006-07-21 03:34:43 · 20 answers · asked by mintcakemissy 1

gee, we really do taste like chicken

2006-07-21 03:34:37 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 03:33:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous