the first joke that make me laugh the writer gets 10 points. i will enter it after 2 days from now, I think that fair enough.
Note:only one Joke.
2006-07-21 04:35:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
What's red and has 2 legs?
half a dog.
Hey what a lame joke....
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
> > Mom : How do you know?
> > Girl牋 : Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic > >
cover.
> >
>
> > Bangladesh Worker : Sir, me no come to work, me sick.
> > Boss? : When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - > > try it.
> > 2 hours later, Bangladesh Worker : Boss! It worked! Me ok now. > > You
got nice house.
> >
>
> > After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
> > Man牋牋牋 : Why? Want to have sex again?
> > Thai Girl : No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before.
> >
>
> > Women's lives are hard. Morning - wash clothes. Noon - hang clothes.
> > Evening - keep clothes. Night - iron clothes. Midnight - take off > >
clothes.
> > After midnight - find clothes.
> >
> > To make it straight, she pulls it. To make it stand, she rubs it. To > >
make it stiff, she licks it. To let it in, she pushes it. True? > >
Threading a > > needle is not easy.
> >
> Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: Anyone got a cock? > > All
men rose.
Priest : I meant anyone seen a cock?? All women rose.
> > Priest : I mean anyone seen my cock?? All nuns rose.
>
>> >> > A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated. She then
> > blew his ashes into the ocean and said: Sweetheart, this is my last > >
******* for you.
> >
>
> > Girl牋 : Mom, what is a penis?
> > Mom : When you become a good girl, you will get one.
> > Girl牋 : But mom, what if I am not a good girl?
> > Mom : Then you will get many!
> >
>
>> > A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary: If I
> > give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?
> > Secretary : Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties.
> >
>
>> > Schoolgirl : I do not want to take the sex Education class.
> > Teacher牋? : Why?
> > Schoolgirl : Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral.
> >
>
> > Two sperms talking on mobile.
> > Ist牋 : I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you > >
close by?
> > 2nd : No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the > >
tonsils.
> >
>
>> > Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a
> > PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.
2006-07-21 04:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by wengkuen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
> It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
> the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
> When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by
> the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his
> way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented
> him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed
> him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he
> was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in a revealing
> negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the
> door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to
> the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love
> he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went
> downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes,
> ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
> When he was truly satisfied she
> poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed
> a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All
> this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the
> dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that
> today would be your last day, and that we should do something
> special for you. I asked him what to give you."
>
> He said, "Screw him - - - give him a dollar."
>
> The blonde then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
2006-07-21 19:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by cleopatrais42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Test
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
2006-07-21 11:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by sleekfeline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A naked man was walking along the road with a lolly-pop and a soda Can when he came across three nuns. He rushed for a near-by bush attempting to hide. Little did he know that his pecker was hanging out and was fully exposed to pedestrians.
The three nuns approached the bush and one of them cried out. “Hey look, a vending machine.” She inserts a coin and pull –twist on what she thought was a knob. Pop, out came the lolly. ‘Well, now this is a surprise.” said the first nun, pleased.
The second nun did the same thing with the so-called knob too and out flew the soda.
Now the third nun decided she also likes something. She did just as the others did too; only this time it took her quite a lot of pulling and twisting. SPLASH!!
“Hey look what I got” she calls out to the others. “HAND CREAMS!”
2006-07-21 11:40:43 · answer #4 · answered by Dr ICY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine is kinda long but I thought it was hilarious when a friend told me. There was a storm one night & this little kid got scared & went to his parents room. They were in the middle of their "alone time" & the mom was on top. He walked in & the mom immediately hopped off & they covered themselves up & asked him nicely what he needed. "oh i was just scared & wanted to sleep with you guys tonight" he said & the mom was like "no honey i'm sorry, tonight isn't a good night mommy & daddy need some time alone". the little kid goes to bed & the next day asks his mom what her & daddy were doing. The mom says "well honey, you know daddy has a little bit of a big belly so I was jumping on it to flatten it down a little bit". The kid then says to her "mommy I don't know why you do that cause the neighbor lady comes over to see daddy & gets on her knees & just blows it up again"
2006-07-21 11:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by §uper ®ose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you actually giving the 10 points, or just letting the voters do it?
Grandpa
A grandson came to visit his grandparents and noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from
the waist down.
"Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out in the wind for all to see!" he exclaimed.
Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering.
"Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
Grandpa looked at him and said, "Last week I sat here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck.
This is grandma's idea..."
2006-07-22 04:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman goes into the gym and sees this massive man lifting weights in the corner. She walks up to him and says, " Your arms are really impressive." He replies, "100 lbs of dynamite baby!." She says, "You have really nice legs too." "100lbs of dynamite,baby!" he replies. Next, he pulls down his pants, and the woman runs off screaming at the top of her lungs. He pulls his pants up and chases after her. Finally, he catches her at the corner of the block. He asks, " Why did you run off like that for?" She replies, "Well, with all that dynamite, I didn't want to be around it with such a short fuse!"
Hahahah, I thought it was funny.
2006-07-21 11:41:59 · answer #7 · answered by jagerchick80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Farmer Brown had been screwing one of his pigs for 5 years, when all of a sudden he was hit by pangs of conscience.
It bothered him so much that he decided that he just had to tell his priest about it in confession.
The priest was shocked and could only say to Farmer Brown, "Well, was the pig a male or a female?"
"A female, of course," shouted Farmer Brown!. "What do you think I am...some sort of queer?"
2006-07-21 11:48:09 · answer #8 · answered by darkpony6262 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up
2006-07-21 11:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by smart_plus_polite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say ha ha ha. laugh.laugh. laugh.because thosands of people are waiting to see your yellow yellow teeth.
if u r an indian u know who is lalu prasad ji. then listen
once george bush was a guest to lalu for dinner.when the curd was served to bush. not knowing whatit was george bush asked lalu as to what it was. lalu unable to express it in one word says "milk sleeping at night morning becomes tight."
2006-07-21 11:39:12 · answer #10 · answered by tiya t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋