Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

An electric train is traveling from Chicago, to Washington. It is traveling at a rate of 60mph and is heading west, The wind is blowing east at 20mph, Mountains to the north are also producing a wind that is moving north-south at 30mph....
which way is the smoke blowing?

2006-07-21 08:30:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 08:29:31 · 7 answers · asked by Abbie O 1

Afterall, it is a big black ball trying to knock down a bunch of smaller white pins with little red necks...

2006-07-21 08:23:46 · 21 answers · asked by hichefheidi 6

2006-07-21 08:21:57 · 36 answers · asked by jmonster_2005 1

You just got Punk'd, again.

Muwahawha ... y'all so sexy.

Word.

2006-07-21 08:15:01 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 08:13:03 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

because so very few of them know how to dance

2006-07-21 08:06:14 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

i really like those mazes or games that have a big surprise ending.
please tell me a website were i can find them.nothing too inappropreate,my freinds sis is only 9.

2006-07-21 08:02:00 · 4 answers · asked by nobody 3

This is a joke just pick a Care Bear and no defending The Banshee
or Care Bears

Bedtime Bear
Birthday Bear
Champ Bear
Cheer Bear
Friend Bear
Funshine Bear
Good Luck Bear
Grumpy Bear
Harmony Bear
Secret Bear
Share Bear
Surprise Bear
Tenderheart Bear
Wish Bear

2006-07-21 07:51:29 · 6 answers · asked by gerbil31603 5

A young girl of 6 years is afraid that the monsters under her bed will grab her when she goes to sleep.

She gets a running start to her bed, switches the light off and simutaniously leaps onto her bed, before the light goes out, so the monster can't grab her.

Question is, can she jump into bed before it gets dark?

2006-07-21 07:48:09 · 5 answers · asked by elliott 4

2006-07-21 07:46:44 · 31 answers · asked by $BLUECRIP$ 3

Best Genie Story Ever
>
> A Husband took his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course,
> the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
> the biggest house
> adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be
> careful!
>
> Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how
> much
> your lousy drive is going to cost us."
>
> So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm
> voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the
> damage that was done:
>
> Glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying
> on its side near the pieces of window glass.
>
> A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my
> window?"
>
> "Uh ... yes sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
>
> "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
> I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
> years. Now that
> you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you
> each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for
> myself."
>
> "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and
> blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my
> life."
>
> "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can
> do. And, I'll guarantee you a long & healthy life!"
>
> "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
>
> "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete wi th servants in every
> country in the world," she said.
>
> "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be
> safe from
> fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
>
>
> "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
>
> "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with
> a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with
> your wife."
>
> The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
> both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
>
> She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
> right.
> Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
> you, honey?"
>
> You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same
> for you!"
>
> So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
> the afternoon enjoying ea ch other.
>
> The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex,
> the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked,
> "How old are you
> and your husband?"
>
> "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
>
> "No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old.....and both of you
> still believe in genies ?"

2006-07-21 07:43:42 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 07:34:45 · 13 answers · asked by p3 2

What is more powerful than God, more eviler than the Devil. The poor have it, the rich want it and if you ate it you would die.

First correct answer gets the 10 points.

P.S. 70 percent of kindergarden kids can answer this question.

2006-07-21 07:29:00 · 13 answers · asked by mailmanfwi 2

2006-07-21 07:28:34 · 18 answers · asked by p3 2

2006-07-21 07:18:36 · 15 answers · asked by p3 2

sum 1 keep me entertained... im not guna choose best anser my peeps ( u guys) are! so tell me the best joke you can thing of and if u have more tell me because im really really bored :o! THNX U

2006-07-21 07:15:56 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

11. draw a picture of a woman (or man) and tape it to your monitor. try to seduce it. then act like it hates you and complain loudly that women (or men) are worthless
12. print out the complete works of shakespeare, when two days later, it is all done, lap your forehead and exclaim, "doggone it! all i wanted was a line or two
13. put a large gold framed portrait of queen elizabeth and prince phillip on your desk. loudly proclaim that you ssure miss the folks back home
14. attempt to eat your computer mouse. season it first
15. borrow someone elses keyboard. simply reach over and say "excuse me, mind if i borrow this a sec." then smugly sing "finders keepers" when they ask for it back
16. keep looking at invisible bugs and try to swat them
17. make absurd gurgling and choking noises. pretend its the computer and look really lost
18. pull out a pencil. start writing on the screen. complain that the lead doesnt work properly

2006-07-21 07:07:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 07:02:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

He is the philosopher who said , "I think, therefore I am".

One day Descartes was sitting in a bar having a drink . It was near closing time and the bartender asked him if he wanted one for the road. Descartes replied," I think not." And suddenly disappeared.

2006-07-21 06:53:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. log on, wait a second, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, "oh my god! theyve found me"
2. laugh uncontrollably for about three minutes. stop and look suspiciously at anyone who looks at you
3. type frantically often stopping to shoot an evil glance at the person sitting next to you
4. sit normally for awhile, suddenly look startled by something on the screen and crawl undereath the desk
5. sing a sea shanty. and then another
6. ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top secret pentagon files
7. bring a chainsaw. if anywone asks why you have it, mysteriously whisper, "just in case....."
8. light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before logging on
9. make out with the person sitting next to you whether you know them or not
10. put a straw in your mouth and your hands in your pockets. type by hitting the keys with the straw

2006-07-21 06:52:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 06:50:00 · 8 answers · asked by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3

2006-07-21 06:41:47 · 8 answers · asked by achiever 1

dummest answer gets 10 points

2006-07-21 06:35:42 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous

what came first the chicken or the egg????

2006-07-21 06:20:27 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 06:15:40 · 17 answers · asked by nobody 3

2006-07-21 06:06:52 · 22 answers · asked by Beth R 2

Picture this. You're on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop-off, and on your left is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a bounding kangaroo, and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you, the elephant, and the kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

First with the correct answer gets the points.

2006-07-21 06:06:49 · 12 answers · asked by The Shark 1

finish sentence

2006-07-21 06:01:30 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

the answer is- only on a tuesday

2006-07-21 05:59:47 · 19 answers · asked by sinnedfairy 5