click here!?

Question

sum 1 keep me entertained... im not guna choose best anser my peeps ( u guys) are! so tell me the best joke you can thing of and if u have more tell me because im really really bored :o! THNX U

Answer 1

they say this is a democracy

Answer 2

Cheating Wife

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight.

The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.

The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"

The cabby said, "I'd cover his *** up with that blanket before he catches a cold."
now cheat m from the points, i still get the two

Answer 3

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
-- Jay Leno


One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me." So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed. Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed. The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!" The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."




One evening at a bar a group of men were watching the news.
The news had on a story about a man threatening to jump off a
high ledge. The first man says that he bets 100 dollars that the
guy jumps, the second says that he bets 100 that he doesn't.
The man jumps and the second man pays the first and leaves.
The first man chases after him because he felt bad. The news
was recapping the story that happened an hour ago and he
already knew beforehand that he jumped. He catches up with
the second guy and tells him this. The second guy replies," I
know but I didn't think that guy would be dumb enough to jump
again!"




High Tech Bodies
Three women, one Greman, one Japanese, and a Hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The Greman pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped.
The others looked at her questioningly.

"That was my pager," she said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang.
The Japanese women lifted her palm to her ear and talked quietly.
When she was finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech.
Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.
She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The Hillbilly woman finally said, "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."




ok this blond walks into a best buy and theres a sign that says no blonds so she colors her hair black because theres 90% off some of the new stuff there.........she walks in and asks how much is this tv? the man at the desk say ur a blond so plz lev now.......so she gose colors her hair brown and gose asks a different person and she says how much is this tv? and that person knows that she was a blone too and asked her to lev once more............she thinks to herself and she thought that thy remembered wat she looked like so she colors her hair red and makes herself look like a rocker but comes bake the next day and asks someone different how much is that tv overthere and he says ur a blond plz lev as he walks her out she stops and asks him how do u know im a blond? and he says thats not a tv its a microwave.............

Answer 4

Hi heres the best I can do
There were 3 dumb blonde guys on an Island and 1 of them found a lamp and he rubbed it. And a geine appeard. The geine sed you will get 3 wishes so they all got 1the 1st guy wished to be smarter bo the geine turned him into a redhead! The 2nd guy wished he was even more smarter so the geine turned him into a brunette! The next guy wished he was even more smarter so the geine turned him into a woman!
Get It
Lol
Mickey
P.S Hav a good day!

Answer 5

ladies and gentiles.... monkeys and reptiles,
i stand before u to sit behind u to tell u something i know nothing about.
last thursday which would be good friday there was a mother's meeting for fathers only.
the admission is free so u can pay at the door, there are plenty of seats so u can sit on the floor.
the food is 50 dollars so u can leave your money, the cinimon buns are made pure out of honey.....

Answer 6

hi

Answer 7

there was this male ant that was stuck in a jar.he couldnt figure out how to get out.well this female ant came by and he asked her how to get out she said f*** me and ill tell you.so he did and then said can you tell me now.she said no he was to good, she wanted to come back later for more. so it went on and on with all these female ants. none of them would tell him.
wanna know how he got out?
F*** me and ill tell you.

Answer 8

3 blondes walked into a bar...u would've thought they saw it coming!!!

teacher: u copied from Erin's exam paper, didn't u?
rachel: how did u know?
teacher: Erin's paper reads "i don't know" for question 3 and u wrote "me neither"!!


voice on telephone: i'm afraid Sara won't be at school today
princibpal: who's calling?
voice on telephone: it's my mom.

Answer 9

Smile.

Answer 10

bored?
once a boy wanted to take a shower with his dad.so he asked.dad can i take a shower with you?he said ok,but dont look at my limousine(private spot).the next day he wanted to take a bath with mom.so he asked.mom,can i take a shower with u?she said yes,but dont look at my garage(private spot).
later on the boy said 'mom open the garage so dad could put his limousine in'
---------------------------------------------------------------
why are black people so tall??
cuz their nee-grows
-------------------------------------------------------------------
yo mama is soo fat you need a sattlelite to see her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
there was once a girl named shut up.it was her first day of school.but the problem is that she lost her dog,trouble.she had to go to school so she couldnt go look for him.when she gets there her teacher says ''whats you name?'' she said ''shut up''. she asked again ''dont say that and whats your name??'' she said ''shut up''! then she said ''your goin to the office''.so there she goes. when she arrives the staff said,''ok,whats your name really''. ''shut up!!'' the staff said ''your goin to the principle.there she goes.the principle says,''ok, i might write you up if you dont tell me what you name is.whats you name? shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the principle says are you looking for trouble? she says yes.

you know her dog named trouble lol....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Farmer walks in to his bedroom with a Sheep under his arm., where his wife is in bed,he says;
''This is the pig I have to make love too when you don't feel like it''
The wife replies;
''I think you'll find it's a sheep.''
The farmer answers;
''I think you'll find I was talking to the Sheep''

Answer 11

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no ideer!