Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

What can be touched but can't be seen?


:) cheers to u :)

2006-07-21 19:15:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned
in Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon
bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his
walkie - talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They
sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were
saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his
mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the
teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

2006-07-21 19:08:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a blonde driving her car, by surprise she looked at her rear view mirro and, there was a police car with there lights on wanting to stop her. So she pulled over and waited for the police officer to approach her. She viewes a tall blonde poice woman. The police woman said; Hello mam, do you know that you were speeding? The driver replied: Oh no officer ! I'm sorry . The woman officer said: May I see your drivers licences ? The driver of the car said:which is that? The officer said :You know the square thing that has a picture of you on it? The driver looked and looked till finally she pulled out a mirror and said you mean this? And, the officer said yes that"s you. The officer gave the driver a verbal warning and said: Have a great day !

2006-07-21 19:02:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Love will make you mine
Creep up from behind
Get you jumping out of your skin
Angel...it's sink or swim?

what you think sink or swim? and why

2006-07-21 18:55:14 · 4 answers · asked by OrangeApple 5

A doctor and his son were driving along in a car. They got into a really bad accident. The doctor died and the son was seriously injured. He was rushed to the hospital. When the doctor came out, the doctor said, "I can't operate on him...that's my son." How can that be?

2006-07-21 18:53:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I can't remember the last time a woman comedian made me laugh. I think it may have been tina fey on Saturday night live, but I can't remember.

Whoopie Goldberg, Rosanne, Ellen Degenerate, Rosie Odonnell, why are they just not funny?

2006-07-21 18:44:57 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 18:44:15 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Possibly a joke too its been a long hard day and I just need a laugh.

2006-07-21 18:42:37 · 5 answers · asked by Supergirl 1

This man calls his wife from the emergency room.
He says "Honey, there was an accident at work today"
She asks "What do you mean an accident?"
He says "I cut off my finger"
She asks "The hole finger?"
He replies "No, the one next to it"

Ok, how many of you get this joke? Be Honest...

2006-07-21 18:40:17 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

How did he lose it?

2006-07-21 18:37:24 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

i heard someone ran into my friends car while it was parked!
hahahaahah

2006-07-21 18:21:10 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

You have a Chicken, fox, and a bag of corn. You want to take your boat to get to the other side of the lake. You can only take one thing over at a time. How is this possible without...the chicken eating the corn....The fox eating the chicken?

2006-07-21 18:13:06 · 13 answers · asked by Greg C 2

Alright, so my friend prank calls people while I'm on three way with him. So let's just say that somebody was offended by something he said so they got the call traced. Is there any way that I would get in trouble with him? Like, could they track my number too?

2006-07-21 18:11:51 · 8 answers · asked by Madeline 2

One's thin,one's medium and one's thick, which one say's hello?

2006-07-21 18:08:21 · 8 answers · asked by ~Shy~Girl~ 2

i really dont know the episode but the funny part wen curly fell in some cement and he came across the black guy in the episode and he looked and told him you sho is ugly

2006-07-21 18:00:56 · 3 answers · asked by mcgloson@sbcglobal.net 2

2006-07-21 17:56:20 · 9 answers · asked by ladybugg_12 1

FOR ALL YOU BUCKS WITH SHORTER HORNS , PLEASE STAND CLOSER TO THE SEAT SO YOU DON'T PEE ON YOUR FEET

2006-07-21 17:55:04 · 8 answers · asked by ₦âħí»€G 6

2006-07-21 17:39:19 · 15 answers · asked by Trigo L 1

I AM WE TODD DID
I AM SOFA KING
WE TODD DID!

2006-07-21 17:25:25 · 16 answers · asked by ~Shy~Girl~ 2

A guy walks into a bar with three ducks,puts them on the bar and uses the washroom.
The first duck says how's it
goin?
The bartender says not bad. He can't beleieve this duck is talking to him,He asked whats your name?
The 1st duck says: I'm Hewy, I've been in and out of puddles all day!
The bartender then asked the 2nd duck, whats your name? Dewey;
I've been in and out of puddles all day too, can't get enough of puddles!
The bartender asked the third duck whats your name? the misserable looking duck says I'm puddles!
Lol hope you enjoyed this it's my fav.

2006-07-21 17:18:17 · 20 answers · asked by ~Shy~Girl~ 2

no sily questions plese and tell me why u like/hate me!

2006-07-21 17:11:32 · 16 answers · asked by DiaBEEtus 3

A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. Asthe boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told herson, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

2006-07-21 17:02:54 · 15 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

i.e. the diploma on the wall that says "The Online College of Doctorin, Dentistry, and Deliverin babies"

2006-07-21 17:01:18 · 12 answers · asked by opjames 4

2006-07-21 16:58:26 · 7 answers · asked by Hack Benjamin 5

There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis." The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"

2006-07-21 16:51:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-21 16:45:37 · 24 answers · asked by ~Shy~Girl~ 2

to see G.W Bush @ss raped by a grizzl bear

2006-07-21 16:40:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

The priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock went missing! The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.

During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?"

All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

2006-07-21 16:35:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am an ancient container.
Remove my last,
I become the one to make it.
Remove all but my first three,
I become a container ofter used
today to boil water.

2006-07-21 16:33:53 · 16 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Sunday School

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''

The Teacher fainted.

2006-07-21 16:32:38 · 14 answers · asked by Goalie Gurl 2