Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

1. you can play hide and seek by yourself
2. you can play hide and seek by yourself
3. you can play hide and seek by yourself

2006-07-22 05:10:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

we use bridges to cross from one side to the other, yet we r not the only creatures to use them............

2006-07-22 05:03:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

never trust a dog to watch your food.
tyler, age 9

when your dad is mad and asks you, "do i look stupid?" dont answer
tabitha, age 6

never tell your mom her diets not working
nathaniel, age 13

puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac
caleb, age 9

never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time
madeleine age 9

you cant hide a piece of broccoli in a gllass of milk
ezra age 9

dont wear polka dot underwear under white shorts
charlotte, age 11

if you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse
elizabeth, age 15

felt markers are not good to use as lipstick
annabelle, age 9

dont pick on your sister when she is holding a basebsll bat
skeet, age 10

when you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when shes on the phone
jakob, age 10

never try to baptize a kitten
caitlan, age 8

2006-07-22 05:01:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-22 04:26:18 · 11 answers · asked by postypaul 3

Thankyou

2006-07-22 03:52:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I bet you do now!

2006-07-22 03:21:36 · 13 answers · asked by kitten lover3 7

I want to know if there is a number that i can use to call my house from my home phone. If you try and use your own number, you will get a busy signal

2006-07-22 03:20:22 · 7 answers · asked by DayShawn 2

My hubby and I went to the local eatery last night and as I was looking at the menu, I noticed something called an English burger. I asked the waitress what it was and she said it was a hamburger patty with swiss cheese on an English muffin. I didn't order it, but I was wondering if it should be called English when there is some Swiss involvement too. What do you think they should have called the burger?

2006-07-22 03:10:34 · 22 answers · asked by kitten lover3 7

2006-07-22 03:08:31 · 18 answers · asked by Samantha S 2

1) JFMAMJJASOND come once a year
2) MVEMJSUNP take up space
3) DDPVCCDB offer Santa a ride
Easy 10 points!!!!!

2006-07-22 03:08:01 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

An enterpising couple who lived near the New Forest, collected up all the wild horse droppings to sell round the town.
Manure, he shouted , get your manure here.
A lady called to the man's wife
Can't you get him to say fertilizer?
The wife said, Leave off, lady, it took me five years to get him to say manure.

2006-07-22 03:00:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

E U I B V A S

2006-07-22 02:46:55 · 11 answers · asked by miracles 1

Things not to say to cops
What to not say to the nice policeman.


I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.


Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.


Aren't you the guy from the Village People?


Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good Job!


I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.


I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.


Bad cop! No doughnut!


You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?


Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.


Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?


Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.


Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?


I pay your salary!


So, uh, you on the take or what?


Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!


Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.


I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.


What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.


Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.


Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!


Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?

2006-07-22 02:46:25 · 14 answers · asked by ? 3

i like to take my super soaker along on car rides and soak walkers....
have you ever done this?
do you think that is mean or fun?
what would you do if you got squirted with water by a passer-by?

2006-07-22 02:41:36 · 11 answers · asked by Cap'n Donna 7

Poker, I harldy know her.
If I said you had a great body would u hold it against me?

2006-07-22 02:31:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

D A R A E P

2006-07-22 02:31:34 · 6 answers · asked by miracles 1

If you think his chest is hairy - you should see Mike Hunt!

2006-07-22 02:04:57 · 31 answers · asked by worldstiti 7

2006-07-22 02:00:15 · 12 answers · asked by -curbside- 4

A man and his wife are awoken at 3 o'clock in the morning by a knock on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a stranger is asking for a push.

"Not a chance" says the husband -- "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He closes the door and returns to bed.

"Who was it?" asks his wife.

"Just a stranger asking for a push" he answers.

"Did you help him? she asks.

"No I didn't -- it's three in the morning"

"Well you've got a short memory" says his wife, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us?. I think you should help him."

The man does as he is told and returns to the front door and calls out into the dark "Hello -- are you still there?"

"Yes", comes the answer.

"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband

"Over here on the swing" the man replies.

2006-07-22 01:53:52 · 9 answers · asked by Carrie C 3

can anyone please give a good blonde joke, or any kind of joke to give me a good laugh? besides, im the one who just loves to throw points around

2006-07-22 01:47:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.

"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.

About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.

"What time does the bar open?" he asks.

"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"

The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."

"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

2006-07-22 01:42:10 · 5 answers · asked by Carrie C 3

2006-07-22 01:41:02 · 17 answers · asked by rhai_0804 1

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for £50," the clerk says. "£50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog.” "Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs." The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of oral sex, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value. The husband is skeptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be bothered by her husband that night. She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks. "What are you two doing down here?" she asks. Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"

2006-07-22 01:40:13 · 7 answers · asked by flange2034 2

2006-07-22 01:29:51 · 9 answers · asked by -curbside- 4

2006-07-22 01:28:35 · 8 answers · asked by -curbside- 4

2006-07-22 01:07:21 · 16 answers · asked by Mo 6

for example....
Does it come with an air pump?
Are you cold?
I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it...
This explains your car...


Let's see what you come up with!!! waiting your answers :)

2006-07-22 00:46:11 · 16 answers · asked by daikuster 2

2006-07-22 00:01:04 · 12 answers · asked by shortgirl 3

2006-07-21 23:35:41 · 8 answers · asked by icyouoverthere 1

....I killed time?

2006-07-21 23:25:06 · 16 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5