Wats the best joke??????

Answer 1

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those
little packages.

7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

63. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"

67. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.

71. Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes

Answer 2

wow im so bored i'm actually gonna fill this out ..... anyway i got these from a readers digest... i found them pretty funny?

- A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a mess. my owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat." "Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" asked the collie. "I can't," replied the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."

-Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?" A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead." After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"

- A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. The bum says, "Mister, can you spare a dollar?" The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, "If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?" "No," says the bum. The man then asks, "If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?" Again the bum says, "No." So the man says to the bum, "Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn't drink or gamble?"

-Bob couldn't believe it-- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congradulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!" "This is a two-part question on American History," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?" Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first." The emcee nodded aprrovingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation. "Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"

-A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow diesease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad that I'm a penguin."

- What wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else seems to think they're jokes.

- Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one. "Break it to her gently," they all urge. "Leave it to me," he says. WHen Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." "How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "Tell him to drop dead!"

- A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona." "There are many listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?" The young man hesistated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man..."

-Two doctors and an HMO manarger die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hungreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tell him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care." St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that you can go to hell."

hope you liked them?

Answer 3

Aircraft Maintenance Complaints & Solutions

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as 'squawks', recently submitted by pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve them.

P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.

P - Left inside main trye almost needs replacement. S - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P - Test flight OK, except Autoland very rough. S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S - Seepage normal, Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P - Something loose in cockpit. S - Something tightened in cockpit.

P - Dead bugs on windshield. S - Live bugs on backorder.

P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S - Evidence removed.

P - DME volume unbelievably loud. S - Volume set to more believable level.

P - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S - That's what they are there for!

P - IFF inoperative. S - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P - Suspected crack in windscreen. S - Suspect you're right.

P - Number 3 engine missing. S - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P - Aircraft handles funny. S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."

P - Target radar hums. S - Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P - Mouse in cockpit. S - Cat installed.

Answer 4

One day there is this guy walking in the park. He sees a rusty old lamp on the ground. He picks it up and sees some writing on the lamp. He starts wiping off the lamp and all of the sudden smoke starts coming out of the lamp and surrounds him. A genie appears and tells him " You have 3 wishes of any kind but there is a stipulation, your worst enemy will receive double what you get." The man says ok my 1st wish is for 100 million dollars. The Genie said ok but remember your worst enemy now has 200 million dollars. OK said the guy. Next wish for a mansion on the most clearest beach. The genie then says but remember then the man interrupted and said i know i have 1 and he has 2. Then all the sudden he is in his beach mansion with the 100 million. For my final wish I wish for you to beat me half to death.

Answer 5

A man goes into a bar and orders two doubles. He drinks one and pours the other into his pocket. This goes on for a while until the bartender tells the man he's had enough. The man threatens to beat up the bartender if he doesn't get him another couple of drinks at which point a mouse sticks his head out of the man's drenched shirt pocket and squeaks " That goes double for your cat!"

Answer 6

why did the chicken cross the road??

to get to the other side
its a classic

Answer 7

joke : your question is use full for India's future

Answer 8

A friend sent me this today, enjoy!

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/singingman7777/Beginning.htm

Answer 9

Your spelling