whats the funniest thing youve seen or heard that you can remember of now?

Question

i heard someone ran into my friends car while it was parked!
hahahaahah

Answer 1

Several years ago I was playung Bass guitar in a rock/blues band. I had a new pair of pants made for a high school gig. About half way through the show my pants split in the crotch. I had to play the rest of the dance standing like a stick with my legs stuck together. I had no other pants to change into. Of all the rotten luck!

Answer 2

Aircraft Maintenance Complaints & Solutions

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as 'squawks', recently submitted by pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve them.

P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.

P - Left inside main trye almost needs replacement. S - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P - Test flight OK, except Autoland very rough. S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S - Seepage normal, Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P - Something loose in cockpit. S - Something tightened in cockpit.

P - Dead bugs on windshield. S - Live bugs on backorder.

P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S - Evidence removed.

P - DME volume unbelievably loud. S - Volume set to more believable level.

P - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S - That's what they are there for!

P - IFF inoperative. S - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P - Suspected crack in windscreen. S - Suspect you're right.

P - Number 3 engine missing. S - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P - Aircraft handles funny. S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."

P - Target radar hums. S - Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P - Mouse in cockpit. S - Cat installed.

Answer 3

i heard a priest got caught:

The priest in a small Irish village loved the **** and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the **** went missing! The priest knew that **** fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.

During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a ****?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a ****?"

All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a **** that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY ****?"

All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

Answer 4

this is the funniest/cutest I can think of right now.
once when I was in my mom's friend's wedding, the little flower girl (she was about 4) was standing by me at the rehearsal, ready to walk down the isle. at that time, I had cut my hair to about an 2 inches below my ear. the girl looked at me and giggled and asked "why did you cut your hair like that? are you trin to look like madonna?" and she ran away. I don't know why, but it made me laugh and I thought it was cute.

Answer 5

i live in australia

my friend was playing counter-strike and he sumhow managed 2 convince sum guys from the uk and usa that kangaroos steal peoples babies (if ur wondering, they don't)

the same friend also got sum chick's email from uk and pretented 2 be one of the classmates and then he told her that he really likes her. she then admitted that she likes him 2 and then he asked her out and know they are ment 2 be going out next saturday.

Answer 6

one time i had to go to a meeting and then i find my friend on my way i stop and talked to him about a girl, we were talking and the girl just passes by we both just stoped talking and we started to walk i was late to the meeting and smiling baceuse of it