Marriage & Divorce - 27 October 2007

We have been married for 31 years, and I have struggled for last 5-10. Many times I say and do the things that would be expected out of a nicely or happily married couple but I feel like I am an actress. For example: touching, hand holding, hugging, talking. I don't feel anything for my spouse but frustration and resentment and sadness that things aren't the way they should be. I have heard that if you keep saying and doing the right thing it eventually becomes a part of you and you will feel it. But I don't know how long that will take, if it will ever happen. I always feel that if I had or would do something better or different it would be better. I don't feel comfortable about divorce, but I always wonder if things could or would be different with someone else or would I have the same problems?

2007-10-27 06:34:33 · 10 answers · asked by okie 2

2007-10-27 06:30:00 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok, so, I'm married, and before I got married and had my kid, I never had any REAL friends that made an effort to keep in touch after high school. They all kind of drifted away from me and the only time we talk is on myspace occasionally. I met one good friend at my job in 2004, but I was her boss and neighbor at the same time and the work situation killed our friendship. She forgave me months later, while we were both working at different jobs, and we started hanging out all the time and became best friends, however, my husband got jealous of her and almost hit her one night while he was drunk. She has forgiven him now, but she still barely calls or comes over. My husband is alot better now, and we are working things out, but he doesn't understand that I need more than a husband. I need girlfriends too since I never had a REAL friend before I met this girl and now she barely talks to me and I feel like a loser with no friends. Do I HAVE to get a divorce to make friends?

2007-10-27 06:29:52 · 19 answers · asked by Torturedsoul 2

Ok I am only looking for answers from people that really want to help me and offer serious advice. Well, last night I went to a "Passion Party", during and afterwards I had a lot of alcohol. When I came home I was very horny and really wanting a lot of sex. My husband and I had not been able to have sex for the past 2 weeks so I thought "this is going to be awesome sex." Well, first time was good then we got on the computer and I let him look at porn while I pleasured him. Our relationship has only recently become this open because I have always been raised to believe that while you are married your spouse is the only person that should make you feel that way. Anyways, so I did that for a while and stopped because I was thinking we would be having sex again soon. Well I got tired of the porn and he ended up looking at it for quite a while. Thats when I really realized what he was mainly looking at... young latina, big booty girls. It kinda made me feel like "am I what he really wants?"

2007-10-27 06:27:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am behind in child support, the support rate per month is outrageously high, I fear if i dont sign off I will just keep getting in deeper in debt because the arrearage is so high. The kids live in a different state and my ex is happily married and wife is talking about adopting the kids. So thats all good.
But I have no idea how to go about it. And if I do that, i know (think) i still owe arrearage, but wont have to pay the support any longer.
I live in Michigan.
ANY HELP APPRECIATED!
Thanks

2007-10-27 06:14:36 · 19 answers · asked by Kathy H 1

I want to break up with my husband because I have met somone else. However we have a joint mortgage together and I wondered how it would all work out? I mean does anyone no here whether you jus divide the equity between both parties? I would like to buy him out if I could but if it works out 50/50 then there would be not way I could. I would want custody of the kids as well. Would it be the court that would decide?

2007-10-27 06:07:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

My fiance and I have been together for five and a half years. recently, we moved in together. He and I are traditional (old fashioned) in the way of our relationship. I cook and clean; however, he seems to be doing nothing...he has grown up with a mother that does it all for him and I feel less than worthy whenever I can't get things done like how his mother does....yet, i work full time, go to school three nights a week, and am planning this wedding...i am starting to question why he even wants to marry me as i don't see myself being of any real importance in his life...i know that sounds AWFUL...i just don't want to call off a wedding that has already been started with my bridesmaides already having bought their dresses and everything else coming together...I talk to him about what I feel and he makes fun of me...I ask him to help out with certain things cuz I am so busy, and he says okay, but never does...I love him, but i don't know what to do...i need some advice. thanks

2007-10-27 05:56:07 · 22 answers · asked by babylove 2

My husband's best friend is having a big Halloween bash tonight in his old town. I don't know anyone and everytime I go, I hardly get to know anyone b/c it is a reunion for him and he forgets that I am there. He wants me to go but I am afraid to go b/c it turns out to be a miserable night as usual b/c he forgets that I am there and will go off to be with his friends - literally. He doesn't introduce me to anyone etc... Would you go? And if you went, what would you do?

2007-10-27 05:53:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM!!!

2007-10-27 05:40:53 · 2 answers · asked by chicagoburbsss 2

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We are both 25 and we are currently in a long distance relationship until I finish school. We have talked about our fututre together many times and we have made plans for it. We know that we are going to be together for a long time....everything in the relationship has been great and we have adjusted to the long distance aspect of it all. I feel ready to take things to the next level. How can I sort of feel him out to see where he stands on the marriage issue. He's mentioned it before and always says things that include both of us when he speaks of the future like "oneday WE will..........." or the other day he said "all I want to do is get through this long distance so we can be together again and buy some land back home so we can build a house." This is part of what we have planned....to buy land in his hometown and build on it. Anyways....I kind of want to know what everyone thinks of this. Is marriage/engagement on his mind?

2007-10-27 05:32:06 · 4 answers · asked by rockerchic821 4

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and been married for 2 years. He says he wants to see something different. He feels he did something out of order when he married me. There is this other girl he loves and wants to be with her to see how things work out between them. At the same time, he does not want to leave me because he also feels what he wants differently may just simply about him and not about us. He insisted we should try counseling to help him find out what he really is looking for. I told him that if he wants to make our marriage work, at least he has to cut that other woman out of his life or I am walking straight out the door. I'm hurt and frustrated. Any of you been through this sort of thing or at least help me with some advice?

2007-10-27 05:31:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please be nice....I really dont know what I am going to do. I have one child, and my husband and me. after paying the bills, and other necessities, and a couple of weeks later...Nothing is left, I just put in the last 15 dollars in my car for gas. I have nothing left.

2007-10-27 05:27:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I fine it hard to understand, and he actually asked for the same thing from his ex girlfriends who broke up with him... I said how about you introduce your male friend to me? he said NO, he said if I broke up with you, then I surely will introduce someone to you. but since its you broke up with me and Im possessive, I wont do that.
I told him thats impossible, he said to me, "thats mean"
I wonder anybody does this like him does? is he weird?

2007-10-27 05:21:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have been back from Iraq for about 5 months and I am getting ready to return to the states, after living in germany for 6 years with my german wife. Our relationship has been rocky and I feel it is getting worse. We have 2 kids that I want to have in my life, so I dont want to leave her but at the same time I feel every person deserves happiness. Sex is boring, argue and fight all the time, and I am starting to see her as a Snobby B*@#H, she is getting really erogant and rude. So how do you know when or if you should end your marriage and if so, should I do something before we leave or wait till we get back?

2007-10-27 05:21:10 · 4 answers · asked by Soljer126 1

Ma sons father is a pimp he hasn't helped me wit ANYTHING.. He stays out of state an childsupport is taking sooo long 2 do anything

2007-10-27 05:03:37 · 4 answers · asked by such a cutie 1

I brought my fiance over on a visa for marriage. After 8 months into the marriage, he now wants a divorce and wants to return to his own country. Would i have less problems filing for divorce after he returns to his country or should i quickly file for divorce now? He left me after 5 1/2 months of marriage 'to find work'. (yeah, right). Now what? I need some legal help quickly.

2007-10-27 04:44:08 · 16 answers · asked by mgrpupp 1

as a single female doctor that just turned 30 there has always been this challenge that what if persuing my passion of continuing training for fellowship would lower my chances of finding the right person and eventually having a family.
its very easy to choose to work like a general MD and have a laid back life with much much more room for socialzing but the job itslef will NOT be satisfying for me.
any input appreciated.

2007-10-27 04:40:41 · 7 answers · asked by me 1

Cherry was reading the magazine, he found an amazing information " ...in south africa, the woman will pay $10 to the husband each time after having sex..." Cherry was so interesting, he told his wife that he want to go to south africa and to experience the amazing custom. But his wife insisted that she wanted to escort him to south africa. His wife told him " Aslo i am doubtful that how could you stay alive when you only earned about $20 a month" ( the wife complain about that one month they only have two times sex)

2007-10-27 04:39:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have been with my wife for almost 2 yrs. we have a 1 yr. old son and she wants to take him with her to visit her family. But doesn't want me to go what should i do. Should i let her go with my son for a week. or should i take some time off work and convence her that we should all go for just a few days.

2007-10-27 04:34:41 · 41 answers · asked by earthsuit01 2

I really like the boyfriend I have now, but I want to keep my husband happy. I don't know what to do. My husband said maybe I should get a girlfriend,. But I don't like that idea.

2007-10-27 04:30:16 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-27 04:23:57 · 12 answers · asked by sdk8037 1

2007-10-27 04:18:50 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-27 04:07:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

My ex husband is in the military here in Texas. The court ordered he has to pay child support on the 1st and the 15th every month when he gets paid. The first 3 payments he mailed in to the state and the attorney general's office mailed me a check. I have signed up for direct deposit. My ex had a payment due on the 15th and he says that the military automatically took it out of his pay that day. How long does it take them to submit the payment? It's the 27th and the payment doesn't even show as received by the attorney general's website when I sign in to my case. Once they get it going better and smoother will it be taken out and then deposited into my account rather quickly?

2007-10-27 03:43:20 · 1 answers · asked by love my life 2

My fiance' and I had a talk the other day and she said that she's not in love with me anymore, but she still loves me and cares about me? To complicate matters we have a 5yr old son together. We live together at the moment, but she is planning on finding somewhere else to go. This relationship has really been one sided just about the whole length of it (8 yrs) and I am emotionally wore out. Last night she says to me "if i realize this seperation thing is a mistake would she be able to stay??? my answer was no, but I am still in love with her...so I really wanted to say yes. I dont think she wants to seperate cause of someone else, I think she's just confused as to what to do about our relationships ups and downs. We have talked time and time again about all of our issues, but everything goes back to the way they were before we talked and the problems start over again.

I'm goin nuts here! I am a pretty affectionate person; always telling her how i feel, but she is just the opposite.

2007-10-27 03:17:21 · 8 answers · asked by mmcustm 1

My husband and I have two sons aged 3 & 6. Before having kids we both said we wanted two or three kids and now after having our second I really feel that I would like another baby but my husband doesn't want any more. Money isn't really a problem for us luckily but I think he just doesn't want to go through the baby years again. There doesn't seem to be a real "compromise" on it as it's either we have one or we don't. Any thoughts on this?

2007-10-27 03:03:17 · 23 answers · asked by quietgirl 3

What did you do about it?

2007-10-27 02:38:13 · 25 answers · asked by KCS 1

My present husband and I have been married for 14 year. He is never home due to work and when he's not home, he's never here. He's a Gemini and I'm a Cancer. He has been physically, verbally and emotional abusive. His last statement a few months ago was "if I met someone else, you would not have a chance". I've stayed in this marriage because I'm a christian and want to be faithful. I had been thinking about an old love I had about 20 years ago for over 2 months. I never contacted him; miraculously, he sent me a letter saying he wanted to talk with me. I have been talking with him on the phone and I've met with him. There is an agreement that, there would be no intimacy until I divorce and we have talked extensively about marriage. He makes me very happy as he did over 20 years ago. He has been divorced over 7 years. Our breakup was due to mostly immaturity.

2007-10-27 02:17:37 · 14 answers · asked by jirehent 2

i like to date woman but once they go out with you 3 or 4 times there talking marriage i dont ever want to get married just live with a woman for a while free to leave when ever i want

2007-10-27 01:04:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

This man,a family friend for years,left abroad to work after leaving home(reasons unknown)due to being in bad company.That time no idea if he had ex gf or was in love then but he was single professional in his 30s when they met.The husband and wife have known each other for 7 years 3 years dating he cant meet in person often though wife understands hes busy being doctor.Hes not cheating type he wont cheat.The country they are at he wont go out to meet anyone except one of his best male friends whose married with a kid even though wifes aunt has invited him several times.The wife is fine since she doesnt like going out.They spend free time with eachother.Good life good sex good friendship in love.They are married they love each other.Give your opinion what kind of husband he is so.They are not divorcing they will make the marriage work they love each other.What do you think of husband.

2007-10-27 01:02:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous