I have been with my wife for almost 2 yrs. we have a 1 yr. old son and she wants to take him with her to visit her family. But doesn't want me to go what should i do. Should i let her go with my son for a week. or should i take some time off work and convence her that we should all go for just a few days.
2007-10-27 04:34:41 · 41 answers · asked by earthsuit01 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd ask why she wants to go on her own but not necessarily worry if everything else in your relationship is OK. She might just want some alone time with her family. I take off to visit family on my own - my sister and I like time together on our own - and so does my husband. Mine is off on a weekend trip with one of his friends this weekend. It's not a bad thing. It's about trust.
2007-10-27 04:39:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to find out why she believes you should not accompany her. Find a time when she's calm, not hungry, and your son's asleep so you can talk undisturbed. Gently ask her about her reasons.
If there are money issues in your family, perhaps she feels it would be better for you to not have lost wages. Are there any difficulties with you and your in-laws? It could be she feels the need to just have a bit of time away with her family (nothing wrong with this) and you wouldn't be as interested as she would be in just getting away. If her family hasn't seen your baby in a while, they will love having him to enjoy for a week.
From experience (I have four sons) it is very difficult caring for a little child. Having family around to help with him, even for a week, will refresh her and make her happy.
You may want to evaluate your feelings... are you jealous, or feeling mistrustful of her or her past relationships before you married her? Remember that marriage survives on trust and love as well as the committment you made to each other.
If you can't take a whole week off work, then send her to her family for the week and join her for the last few days of it and come home together. Compromise :)
2007-10-27 04:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her go on her own at for a few days then see if she would be accepting of you meeting her up there on the weekend or for a part of the trip. Or maybe you can talk her into going to see her family for a bit then take the rest of the time as a family vacation at an alternate place without family. It is possible that she just wants some time away, she may be feeling overwhelmed and doesn't know how to express it, so she wants to go home where she is used to being taken care of, not that you aren't fulfilling that need its just a different type.
2007-10-27 04:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by MZOrr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the main question is why she doesn't want you going to visit her family with her. Have there been any other problems lately? She may feel the need to have some alone time and that is why she is going to visit her family. I would let her take the son with her since her family probably doesn't see him too often and that way he doesn't have to be in daycare all day while you are at work. Have you asked her why she doesn't want you going? Try telling her you'd love to go and can take three or four days off work.
2007-10-27 04:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by Madison 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Prayer changes things. It definitely seems suspicious but the thing is, you can't change people! You can't even demand for her to stay home and not take your son to see your in-laws. Sounds like you need to communicate with your wife and openly ask what is going on instead of talking to "us" (yahoo! answers) about it. If there is trouble in paradise, take some time to figure out how things can be made better. Believe me, when two people are apart they really start to realize how they could have done things better but if they are apart too often, it becomes burdensome. This may be a nice break that you can use to your advantage. Just make sure that you guys are talking about everything and stay in unity together. Marriage is unity, you two are now one.
Maybe you guys need a vacation to re-ignite your "loving feeling" or maybe you two should speak with a marriage counselor. Good luck, it will work out.
2007-10-27 04:54:36 · answer #5 · answered by BeautifulOne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are yu so posessive that your wife cannot visit her family? Are you so unsure of the quality of your marriage that you don't trust her to come back?
Why don't you have a chat and find out why she does not want you to go. You should not force the issue either.
It sounds like you are not telling the entire story here. She wants to visit family - that is natural. Take the boy - she is the mother and should be caring for the kid while you are at work. That is also natural.
She does not want you to go. Why not. Is there friction between you and her parents. Is there worry about loss of income from your vacation? there must be some reasonable concern. But it is HER family and not yours.
I have the feeling that there is more than you are telling. But this is the advice based on your presentation.
2007-10-27 04:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by organbuilder272 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with your wife and son getting away on their own to visit with her family. She may be feeling a bit stressed and just need some down time. If however she had wanted you to take time off to spend some time with them she would have asked you to do so. But it sounds like she needs some down time with her clan so please allow her this time. Who knows she may return all rejuvinated and with a new outlook on many things. And you may actually enjoy being along for a week also so you can do some things that you haven't been able to the past couple of years. Certainly you'll miss them both and they you, but trust that she is comfortable being independent and you should be also. Best of luck.
2007-10-27 04:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to confront your wife and tell her that it's not right for her to be able to take your son with her, but you not to go. Because you are your son's father.
Also it sounds fishy why she would do that.
Take some time off work and convince her that you should all go. It would be a nice time for the family.
I think she doesn't want you to go either because she doesn't want you to miss work, or she may have other reasons. Not sure.
2007-10-27 05:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants some time with her family without you present, let her have it. Adjusting to marraige is hard enough. Throw in a new baby, probably a new home too and you've got a lot of changes really fast.
A man who won't let a woman do things on her own can be a sign of great insecurity, also a preindicator of future violent behavior. You will likely disagree with either of those applying to you. So let her go - your relationship will likely be better for the break - you'll have time to miss each other.
Best wishes.
2007-10-27 04:40:46 · answer #9 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it, sit her down and tell her that you all are a family now and you do things together. You are ONE now and that if there is a problem with you going somewhere with them then she should not be going there either. Married couples are suppose to take up for each other. If there is somthing wrong in the marriage and she is trying to get away from you for some fresh air tell her that she can't run away from whatever the issue is. You guys are married you need to work everything out TOGETHER!
2007-10-27 05:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by tickerspam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋