My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and been married for 2 years. He says he wants to see something different. He feels he did something out of order when he married me. There is this other girl he loves and wants to be with her to see how things work out between them. At the same time, he does not want to leave me because he also feels what he wants differently may just simply about him and not about us. He insisted we should try counseling to help him find out what he really is looking for. I told him that if he wants to make our marriage work, at least he has to cut that other woman out of his life or I am walking straight out the door. I'm hurt and frustrated. Any of you been through this sort of thing or at least help me with some advice?
2007-10-27 05:31:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you're feeling the right thing and doing the right thing. you should go to counselling with him and let him figure it out himself. but only under the condition he's still faithful to you before anything else. tell him that you love him and like to stay with him for the monogamous relationship. get the counselling and find it out. no one will know what he decides later on. but if i were you, i will make it clear that if he chooses her over you, you'll never wait for him as a 2nd or may never forgive him for that. not as an ultimatum but as a way you hold your self-respect and dignity he should have for you.
2007-10-27 05:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by xyz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Christian doesn't mean you should be miserable. There are two people in a marriage so you can take comfort in the fact that the choice to divorce wasn't all yours. You tried. You met someone else but backed off, that's fine. You were being faithful because nothing happened. He decided on the affair. Stop being a victim of a man's whims. If you're happy with the other man, you did nothing wrong. Your son will have a more normal life (it seems) without his father in house considering there was abuse, fighting and chaos beforehand.
2016-04-10 21:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Creative it certainly sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. Counselling may do you both good and get the relationship back on track, but that is not a guarantee. Communication at this time if obviously very important. Besides how would he feel if the show was reversed and you were saying these same things to him, I somehow doubt that he would be so open minded. Best of luck to you both in resolving this issue.
2007-10-27 05:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he is the one to want to try counseling, agree only if he agrees not to see the other girl during the time you attend counseling together. It may be that it is not him raising the doubts in his mind but the other girl trying to break up your marriage and the counseling should help him see that. He is trying to figure himself out at least and did not try to see her behind your back and try to keep it a secret so counseling may help solve the problem. Hope it works out for you!!
2007-10-27 05:48:01 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he does this to you for only one reason, because you passively sit there and allow it. truth.
and you waited 8 years for hiim to marry you. at the core, he does not see you as an equal, just someone to walk on who will tolerate anything he dishes out.
you are not a fool for doing this, you are probably a real nice person, but you will be a fool, a complete fool if you are still there in that house when he comes home tonight.
he sounds as creepy as they come, why are you still there? you can help him make up his mind in one minute, very quickly, by removing yourself completely and leaving him and the woman he is so brazenly cheating on you with together and getting out of there.
2007-10-27 07:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you reserve being with somebody who does not respect you at all. He see another woman!Come on! If he wanted this marriage he would work on it and not go to somebody else.Until what ? Until help from above appears suddenly? You are not referring to any children.I suppose you do not have any. In that case I find no reason being with him.I am sure you find love and happiness in another hug.Do not waste your time Ange yourself.You mirth find it difficult at the moment but I am sure you will find courage to go on with your life and manage it yourself.Good luck!
2007-10-27 06:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by mxgr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to m like he has wedding jitters a little late. Remind him of the vowes both of you took. Time for him tomake up his mind wether he really meant what he vowed or not. It does say somewhere in there: forsake all others.....
2007-10-27 05:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him in the *** he made vows with you not the other women. I myself would be walking out the door if he doesnt want to cut ties with her. You are his wife not her kick her in the *** too. Ask her when she falls in love with someone not just your husband would she want to be in the situation you are. If she replies no then dont do it to you. What goes around comes around. If you dont want it done to you dont do it to anyone else.
2007-10-27 05:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
save your money! It hurts, but it is what it is... hit the door,or tell him to hit the door. He is already cheating on you, and has been for a while. Don't be a pin cushion
2007-10-27 05:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Ken H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why play second choice to another woman. he is onviously cheating on you and has told you he wants both of you. he is getting his cake and eatting it too. you are allowing it. Just leave
2007-10-27 05:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by tammy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋