job or family?

Question

as a single female doctor that just turned 30 there has always been this challenge that what if persuing my passion of continuing training for fellowship would lower my chances of finding the right person and eventually having a family.
its very easy to choose to work like a general MD and have a laid back life with much much more room for socialzing but the job itslef will NOT be satisfying for me.
any input appreciated.

Answer 1

Pray! I always say God first, family second and job last. Even in the military I practiced this formula to keep myself and my home happy. People cannot put more on you than you allow them to. If you feel you would like to have a family but you are happy with being a doctor, I would create a happy medium. Write pros and cons (which you may have already done) on a piece of paper. If that doesn't work, follow your heart.

I don't believe God gave you the gifts, and talents you have to leave you lonely without a good man and children (if that is what you truly want). I would pray that you can have both. God knows your heart and what you really want.

But before you ask, make sure you know what you really want. In your situation, if I were in your shoes, I don't know what I would do. I left my lucrative job at Bank of America to be a full-time mom and take care of my new infant for at least a year. Some things in life can be rewarding but once gone, they're gone.

Why do you think your chances of "finding the right person" and "having a family" will be lowered because of your job? You have to enjoy your youth while you are young. Many people get married and have children at older ages now-a-days, but you have to decide what is right for you, not what is right for someone else.

Don't settle, either way! Don't settle for being a general MD if you don't want it, because you will look back and always wonder what if. But if you think you could put things on hold for a couple years and go back to training later then do it. I don't recommend that because very few people actually go back to something years later, like they initially said they would.

Basically, if you have the time to live and enjoy life now, who's to say you wont meet a tall, handsome doctor who does the same thing as you? Like minded people attract each other. Everyone beats to their own drum. Do you! (meaning, do what makes you happy)

Answer 2

You have to do what satisfies you now and hopefully the right guy will come along. You can't plan your life around "what if". Besides you could become a general MD and have more time to date and still not find that special guy and then you wouldn't have a satisfying career or a guy.

You just have to do what you want to do now and hopefully things will work out. My suggestion would be try to date another doctor. Other doctors understands the demands of the job. And if you fall in love and want to start a family then that option is open to both of you.

Answer 3

Me, it sounds like you are very capable and looking forward to becoming some form of a specialist. The fact that you have these gifts should not be wasted by pacifying yourself by being a general MD. Use the God given talents you have been blessed with and attempt to advance your studies and practice. You will feel better about not only yourself but will probably end up meeting up with someone on your emotional level and have a happy relationship. Best of luck and hopes for a very successful career regardless of which field of study you choose.

Answer 4

No job is really satisfying in the end, but you still need one. Man, you are so lucky just to be a doctor! I wouldn't worry about family. First you need to get a honest man that will cherish and love you as you deserve- the rest will just follow perfectly. Your only thirty!? You have plenty time. You also don't have to have a family to be satisfied. There are millions of people around (like friends and family) that can satisfy your need to be loved. God only gave us the option of making a family because it's a good investment for your future.

Answer 5

Although having a family and love is great, you should pursue your goals and dreams first.
You have intelligence and the ability to help people out completely. This is your passion, go for it.
Once you become involved with your job, all other things will fall into place.
You never know, you could meet an amazing patient, colleague, or even find someone during your spare time. Be patient and until then follow your dreams!

Answer 6

my doc that delivered my daughters is a successful doctor and great mom she has her husband and kids. i've known her for over 6 years now. and when i get pregnant with my 3rd child she will be the one i go to for sure. she already knows im trying to have a baby. it is possible to find someone to settle with and have the family and career, but it will consume most of your free time and take alot of ur patience to juggle both. your job alone may not satisfy you but the real question to you is can you handle the change? open up to a man that wants to open up to you? do you one day want to get married and commit to that one person? so you want to go thru childbirth and take some time away from work to do so? and willyou be ready to go back to work and have your family too? if you can say yes to those then its time to look for that guy. he may be someone you know just never paid attention to since u think you cant have a great career and great family all at once.

Answer 7

girl, it's not like you have found someone and are struggling to balance it! you're looking at some unknown possibility of meeting a man and trying to give your dream up for that unknown world! dear, a right person will come when time is right whether you have a career or not! you're a smart person who has achieved so much to become a doctor. isn't that your dream? i'd go ahead and continue pursuing my dream and still try to balance my social life....cause i believe if there is a guy like that, we'll meet no matter what!