I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We are both 25 and we are currently in a long distance relationship until I finish school. We have talked about our fututre together many times and we have made plans for it. We know that we are going to be together for a long time....everything in the relationship has been great and we have adjusted to the long distance aspect of it all. I feel ready to take things to the next level. How can I sort of feel him out to see where he stands on the marriage issue. He's mentioned it before and always says things that include both of us when he speaks of the future like "oneday WE will..........." or the other day he said "all I want to do is get through this long distance so we can be together again and buy some land back home so we can build a house." This is part of what we have planned....to buy land in his hometown and build on it. Anyways....I kind of want to know what everyone thinks of this. Is marriage/engagement on his mind?
2007-10-27 05:32:06 · 4 answers · asked by rockerchic821 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I posted this in the marriage section in hopes of getting more mature/responsible answers...the singles and dating section is very immature most of the time. Thanks for any input.
2007-10-27 05:33:00 · update #1
nummyk...i think my bf is like your husband...he is getting older and doesn't want to grow up. I never thought of it that way....thanks!
2007-10-27 05:50:47 · update #2
also.....good to hear something positive come out of a long distnace relationship....i get so much negativity from people about LDRs....nice to see one so strong it lasted for 4 years!
2007-10-27 05:53:31 · update #3
One more thing....we lived together for about 5 months before the distance started...so we know what it's like being around each other all the time....he is in the Air Force and got stationed somewhere else and I was accepted into nursing school and decided to stay and finish....thats why we are in the long distance relationship now.
2007-10-27 05:56:02 · update #4
It's always a positive sign when he uses "we" when talking about the future. That means he considers you an important part of his life and plans for you to be in his future.
As far as marriage/engagement...unless he has told you he never wants to get married, it sounds like it is definitely a possibility.
My husband and I were together a long time before we got married and did the long distance thing for 4 years so I know where you are coming from. I just had to be patient and wait for him to be comfortable with the idea of being someone's
"husband". I just had to kinda bide my time and he came around. The same thing happened when we decided to start a family. We talked about it and I waited for him to be comfortable before we started trying.
I don't know if you guy is like my husband, but it had to do with the fact that he was getting older and having to admit he is an adult now. He didn't want to let go of feeling like he was a young 20 something guy.
However, things are great now and he always says the best thing he ever did was marry me. So hang in there and good luck!
2007-10-27 05:43:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you say that you are 25 and in school I assume that you mean college and he perhaps wants you to finish that before planning on the next step in your lives, especially if he is aware of how many times a marriage fails when one of the partners are still in school - something like 80% failure rate for marriages to those studying law or medicine. If you have been together for two years and everything has been fine, and you have adjusted to the long term aspect of the relationship, It may be better to wait for the marriage until you do finish school and he may realize that. Good Luck to you!!
2007-10-27 13:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's hard to get an accurate assessment of a relationship when it's long distance. it always feels like things are great, until you live with each other and have to see each other WAY more. you need to spend more time in the relationship together, not long distance. then you'll both know if marriage is in the cards for you.
2007-10-27 12:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by John R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much do you trust him? Can you straight up ask him without him running off due to fear of committment? I'd suggest asking him about marriage and what he thinks. If you're truly ready to move to the next level, this level of trust should be there already and he will take your question in with interest and truthful answer.
2007-10-27 12:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Oh it's me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋