My husband and I have two sons aged 3 & 6. Before having kids we both said we wanted two or three kids and now after having our second I really feel that I would like another baby but my husband doesn't want any more. Money isn't really a problem for us luckily but I think he just doesn't want to go through the baby years again. There doesn't seem to be a real "compromise" on it as it's either we have one or we don't. Any thoughts on this?
2007-10-27 03:03:17 · 23 answers · asked by quietgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel it important to mention that I don't want another baby to "try for a girl" Not that I wouldn't love a daughter but I always wanted sons. I want another child just because I love being a mom. I've always worked with children and it seems to come naturally to me.
2007-10-27 03:16:32 · update #1
Have two and a puppy!
2007-10-27 03:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why do you need another child? I think you need to determine that before you try to convince your husband. It sounds like you agreed to 2 OR 3. Apparently the two you had is enough for your husband. Maybe being a parent isn't what he thought it would be(it usually isn't), maybe he is worried about money IN THE FUTURE, maybe he is just satisfied with his life as it is.
You have no guarantee that you will have a healthy baby, only one baby or if you are trying for a girl, that you won't have another boy. You don't know if you will continue the lifestyle you live now, things happen, people lose their job, get sick, die unexpectedly or leave their spouse for another person.
I think you have to decide if you can accept what your husband wants, or if you truly feel you must have another child, I think you need to consider divorcing him and finding someone who wants 3 children.
2007-10-27 03:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the exact same problem with my husband. We have one daughter, a 20 month old, and I want one more baby so she is not an only child. He said he doesn't want anymore, and he is under no circumstances wanting any more kids. I don't know what to do either, I guess since he and I are still young, my plan is to wait and see and hopefully he changes his mind once our daughter can talk and isn't so time consuming with diaper changes and going through the terrible two's. Good luck with that one, at least you have two, I only have one :( but she is a great one and I'm blessed to have her.
2007-10-27 03:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by Brittney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push it too much because it may cause a REAL problem between you two and then your not going to know what started it it. Look personally I think two is just enough. You can give your babies the attention they need and believe it or not it's not just the babies. Your husband also needs attention and he asking for it and your not even paying attention. Just work with what you have and if later on he really sees in action that you really want a third baby then he will give it to you, but don't push. It'll just cause more problems.
2007-10-27 03:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by shy_gal2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's no different for a man than it is for a woman. If he doesn't want to father another child, that should be the end of it. Would you really want to have another child knowing that your husband did not want the baby? You will have to compromise on this one, and that means two children.
2007-10-27 03:11:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a dog. Your husband has te right to decide how many children he wants to be rsponsible for and for him it is only 2. You should have discussed all of this prior to getting married. Money isn't the only factor to not wanting more children. He doesn't want more, period. You either force the issue and damage your marriage perhaps to divorce or you shrug your shoulders, agree to get a dog,cat,whatever and enjoy the blessings you have.
2007-10-27 06:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you both sit down (when you have time and a quiet place to think....that means, have someone take your kids for an evening) and you each write down on a piece of paper the reasons 1) you want a baby and 2) why he doesn't.
I have a feeling you want to try again for a girl. Or you're to the point of seeing your kids start to grow up and you're longing for those cute baby toes again....which isn't reason enough for the added strain, cost, and time away from your marriage. Kids, whether we like it or not, do take time and energy away from our spouses. It's a fine balance. It's wonderful to have kids but many spouses forget to love and nurture their husbands and wives which can lead to divorce and alot of unhappiness. Look inside and think deeply about why you truly want another child.
2007-10-27 03:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you want three and he wants two, then you stick with two. You don't force another child on him if he doesn't want one, it will only create resentment. But you, you can live with only having 2 kids because you have those two kids to focus your time on. They will be happier not having to share you with another child or losing your attention to a baby.
Be happy with the two blessings you have and with your husband and enjoy your life.
2007-10-27 04:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHA..had the same prob with me hubby but we have 2 daughters. I wanted another but he was pretty adament that 2 was enough. Well, I just found out I was pregnant...you know what he said? It better be a boy! LOL...He is going to go Insane if I have another girl! Well, if your sex life is good then accidents DO happen and when it does....he'll be happy about i promise.
2007-10-27 04:15:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go along with him, and see along down the road how he feels. Concentrate on you two boys that you have now, kids take up a lot of your time, and attention, may be he is seeing a picture, that you are not seeing yet. Thank God for what you do have. Try and work on pleasing your husband. and be happy together!
2007-10-27 03:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I like Angie's answer. You have two kids that are very dear to your hearts. Take the attention and time that you would pour into another child and funnel it into the two you already have. You should respect your husband's opinion. Instead of being upset for what you don't have, be thankful for what you do. Don't let this issue come between you.
2007-10-27 03:11:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋