Breaking up with my husband?

Question

I want to break up with my husband because I have met somone else. However we have a joint mortgage together and I wondered how it would all work out? I mean does anyone no here whether you jus divide the equity between both parties? I would like to buy him out if I could but if it works out 50/50 then there would be not way I could. I would want custody of the kids as well. Would it be the court that would decide?

Answer 1

I don't understand why so many people on here are judging you for the decision that you have made in breaking up with your husband. All you have here is one paragraph, and it asks about how to go about dividing the assets of your marriage. You need to go to a lawyer for that in order to find out what the law requires in your state. Keep in mind that leaving for someone else (an affair) may have an impact on the outcome especially when it comes to the kids.

I don't judge your decision as I know there is much more to the story than you are stating. Some people need to just relax and stop wishing bad things on someone and their situation especially when the whole story isn't being told here.

Good luck. Make sure you think this out seriously before you jump from the frying pan into the fire.

Answer 2

First thing you need to do is to go see an attorney and get a consultation in which you can discuss the legal aspects of what you wish to accomplish.

I'd also get prepared for a nasty divorce, as your husband will likely not be too happy to discover that you have met someone else and are leaving him. (You might want to instead tell him that you are not happy and feel that divorce is the best solution, leaving out the fact that you found someone else).

So, depending on what type of person he is, he might be civil and work out an equal distribution of property. Or he might be hateful and you find yourself fighting over it for the next two years.

Same with the children. Although it is most likely that it would be joint custody, as courts attempt to give children equal time with both parents.

Divorce is a painful process on all parties, so make sure you really want to leave the marriage and be single again.

Answer 3

One, you are in a bad place, because you didn't get a divorce and then fall in love with someone else. things are out of order. That said, you will need an attorney for advice, since there is assets involved. Or if you can both agree on things, you can do it yourself for less money.
The main thing is to treat your husband fairly. Just because you found someone else doesn't mean you get everything; yes, he should get half. Why not? You have nothing now, so you need to see that no court will be on your side...wanting more than you should have. Loving another man has nothing to do with it. BUT, you need to see your husband's side of it....what if he came to you with a new girlfriend, wants a divorce and wants the house cheaper than it should be in dividing. Not fair on either side, is it? And how do you know this new relationship is the best ever? Be wise, and don't be hungry for the best deal. Do what is fair, get yourself a nice place (try not to move in with the new man) and get a new life. Think of the children. Of course, you want custody, one because you couldn't afford the support to your husband. But be sure, it is because you love them and want the best for them. Is this divorce good for them, also, and is this new man good for them also? Lots of questions, but good to think about in the middle of lust. You have so much more to lose than to gain if you make the wrong decisions. Consult an attorney for a one time question session...then decide. Good luck.

Answer 4

I read all the angry comments.. it sucks to be you right now. Don't let it get you down. A lot of people don't know what it's like to be married. We all make mistakes. It wouldn't be fair to your husband to stick around when you're not in love with him anymore. but I wouldn't take his children away from him. Don't do it. It's selfish!! Your children should be a huge priority in your life. You should sit down and talk to your husband first. Tell him how you feel and both of you can figure out how to handle this in a civil way. If you can't come to an agreement, then that's WHEN you should get a lawyer. I think you both can work something out though.

Answer 5

Joanne it usually is decided through the courts. At times couple who are ending their relationship are capable of coming to terms without having to spend thousands of dollars on lawyers but that is less often then probably should be. Fact of life is you are entitled to 50% of property. As for placement of children that depends on where the courts believe the child would be best tended for. Best of luck.

Answer 6

It depends on the laws where you are living. I found out my wife was cheating and I talked to a lawyer. She had dreams of us selling our home and her walking away with a pocketful of money to be with her b/f. She had no idea what she was in for because of the laws where we lived. I talked to the mortgage company and made them aware of my intentions. I waited for months without paying the mortgage and she was unaware, so when we were far enough behind so she couldn't get caught up and no bank could do anything for her I told her I knew she was cheating because she thought I didn't know and the mortgage company foreclosed on our property. She got what she deserved for cheating....nothing!!! All she could say to me was " I didn't mean for it to happen. You treated me good." Case closed. No court date.

Answer 7

If you're willing to throw away a 5-year marriage for someone you only recently met, you deserve NOTHING.

I feel sorry for your husband, seriously. You are an incredibly selfish, manipulative, and greedy woman. If the courts are even remotely intelligent they'll give your husband everything and you nothing. Infidelity is not taken lightly in the courtroom. You have problems.

Answer 8

It would be up to the courts to decide, but I hope they run you through the ringer. What a selfish woman you are with no regards for your children at all. I hope he gets custody, they don't need to have to grow up living with your boyfriends.

You need help.

Answer 9

A) Never leave someone for someone .....

B) Leave if your not happy, then decide on what you want in a partner .....

C) Yes .... all things are possible through the legal help of a Lawyer.


Good Luck

Answer 10

What the hell..?

You are leaving someone for no reason and getting together with someone for no reason. Even if there is a big reason, I don't think, your second hubby is a lucky fella. God knows, when will you leave him too for someone else...!

Really, its pathetic ...!
I would want to know about your nationality.