Marriage & Divorce - 17 September 2007

We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. We have a huge mortgage and the 3 year old has started at a private school. My husband stays at home with the kids and with my salary we just about manage. I've always been happy for him to stay at home with the kids because I don't think I'd trust a childminder with my precious children! However - he's always complaining that the kids have either made a mess with matches or they've decorated a room with the contents of a dirty nappy or they've pulled all the coal out of the fire and covered everything... He doesn't clean up after them - he'd rather throw away the offending items! If he's tired he feeds the baby a jar or two (instead of 3 -4) and then just leaves her with milk. My mother-in-law (who has never liked me that much!) has suggested that I hire a cleaner, but firstly I can't afford it and secondly believe that whoever stays at home with the kids should be looking after the kids and the house. Any suggestions?...

2007-09-17 03:56:41 · 29 answers · asked by manno 2

My 7 year old stepson has outsmarted his dad. He is spoiled. He doesn't throw tantrums, and is generally not a disciplinary problem. However, he usually has control over what happens in our home. Example: He eats what he wants, when he wants, even if it is bedtime. We can prepare a meal for him, or go to a restaurant, and he may, or may not eat, and then expects us to provide snacks for him at 10:30 on a school night because he is hungry. This happened last night and my husband fussed at him, but ultimately, his son got exactly what he wanted. I am concerned that my husband's parenting will affect his son's social skills, among other things as he gets older. This is a new marriage, and we have agreed that, at least for now, we will limit ourselves on how much involvement we have in parenting our step-kids (I have 3 teenagers and his son is 7) Please help me figure this one out. I can't step in and take over, but I can talk to my husband behind closed doors.

2007-09-17 03:56:14 · 7 answers · asked by quietlycrazy 2

My boyfriend [now fiance] proposed to me this weekend. I'm seventeen and he's eighteen. I'm not looking for people to criticize me saying we're too young for marriage, I'm just looking for some opinions on how to tell our parents that this is what we want. We already have our lives planned out with a few backup plans just in case, but they don't coincide with the plans our parents thought we were going through with. How do we tell them we've changed our minds?

2007-09-17 03:52:53 · 8 answers · asked by sKa 3

Curious to now how many 'cheaters' out there didn't intentially start out that way. Did your cheating relationship start out as just casual friends and then develop into a deeper (sexual) relationship? What were your first signs of knowing that the friendship was becoming something more (prior to sex). How did you change towards your spuse during that time (e.g. what signs were you giving off - if any)?

2007-09-17 03:52:36 · 7 answers · asked by confusedsoul 2

like calling you fat,or making fun of you because you cry and get updset...

2007-09-17 03:47:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

What should I do? This weekend is our annual end of summer retreat with my family. My husband & kids, my parents and my brothers family. My parents book rooms and we all look forward to it every year. Well my husbands cousin is getting married this same weekend. They aren't even close but he thinks we should go to make his mom happy!! I NEVER make him go to family functions if he doesn't want to go, though he usually does go. I know he would rather go with my family but he feels obligated. I'm thinking of telling him to go alone to the wedding and I'll go with my kids & family to the relaxing weekend. Am I wrong? Or should I just get over it and go to the wedding with my husband?

2007-09-17 03:43:30 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have always been a messy housekeeper. It came from my mother who never cleaned and I was forced to clean from when I was 10 while she would just sit on the couch watching tv and tell me how to clean.
Hubby and I have been married 23 years and it seems each year I get worse and worse. We have a 7 yr DD and DH always tells me I am setting a terrible example and He is always straitening up what he can.
I know I need to do better with the housework and it the house seemed to keep cleaner when I was working a norman 9-5 job. I work sporatically now and I am very unorganized at home.

I love my husband very much and want to be a better wife to him but I just can't get motivated.

2007-09-17 03:39:14 · 12 answers · asked by Lisa V 2

you know they say that being a soldier in the army is one of the hardest jobs, but what most dont hear is a wifes/ girlfriends cry. Most wemon will tell you that loving the soldiers in the army is the hardest job. For we are the ones that stand beind them trying to stay strong and not show the tears we cry so our soldiers will not cry too. We are the ones that keep the home fires burning. We are the ones who take care of the familys and keep them strong. So i ask you this, do you think being a wife/ girlfriend of a soldier is the hardest job in the military?

2007-09-17 03:35:25 · 7 answers · asked by forsaken 1

2007-09-17 03:34:50 · 4 answers · asked by i love zeppelin 2

We have financial problems, and I am doing everything I can to make more money...yet she makes mistakes with our checking account which end up using up my whole check with overdraft fees. It's like I'm working for free. But if I don't make more money, she'll take our little girl away from me and leave.

We've been married 8 years, and I love her, but for her to say that....isn't that kinda shallow? If the shoe were on the other foot, I would never threaten to leave her over how much money she made.

2007-09-17 03:33:49 · 30 answers · asked by Geezer 2

My husband and I are on the verge of divorce.We have been married a year and a half and have 2 children.I love my husband dearly, but cant find my way anymore.We have had sexual problems in our marriage for about 9 months.He stopped wanting it.It hurt and finally I figured he was cheating. Im not sure that he wasnt and still isnt but I did find out why.I had gotten pregnant again a while back and miscarried.I gained some weight and he said that while he thought I was beautiful he wasnt attracted to me.He has always been very visual and made me feel bad about myself.I have tried our whole marriage to be what he wants, short hair, clothes etc... its not enough.He always wants more.Right now hes upset about where his life is headed.He said hes bored with the family life and with me and the kids. My kids love him and my 3 year old son and 1 yr old daughter will be devestated.He says he wants to work on it but wont try for more than a few days. What now? I am a SAHM w/ no work history.

2007-09-17 03:33:26 · 15 answers · asked by aalshafi 1

My husband and I are recently separated (actually 2 weeks) and I have an appointment with my attorney tomorrow but at night I miss him. I know he did stuff he shouldn't have done and I DONT want to get back together with him, but I miss his arms around me at night and the good night kisses and stuff like that...when I think about it I want to cry, what should I, or could I do? I dont really think its HIM that I miss more than the companionship(sp?). I cant spell. I just feel so...alone. I am staying with my grandmother and she just gets on my nerves! But what can I do to forget about that feeling? please help!

2007-09-17 03:24:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I dated my now wife 2 years before we where married and she was an animal in the bedroom satisfying my every need as i did hers. Now that we have been married for almost a year and a half we are lucky to have sex once every 3 to 4 weeks and then she only wants a quickie. She says she has lost the desire to have sex and has even suggested that I get a mistress but still stay with her. I only want to be with my wife. What type of stimulates are available for women who are ashamed to ask for help?

2007-09-17 03:22:46 · 28 answers · asked by Kevin P 1

It been 2 weeks sense my wife and I have had sex. last weekend was my birthday. Sex has been 3 time a weeks and she seemed interested but i have the higher sex drive. She said she not interested in sex at all. Nothing. I asked her if it was me or if she doesn't desire me anymore or doesn't love me. she says she doesn't bust does not have the interest for sex. SHe said she she has been trying but she cant. She promised me for my birthday she would and she always pushed me me away when i was in the mood. It wasn't rushed either we went out had a romantic time everyday all weekend and nothing. I don't know what to do. But sex has been less but not it has stopped. I feel hurt and lost that my wife doest want me. She said she does nothing in terms of sex. She has to go to the doctor for new birth pill. I dont killed her sex drive but she been on then for 2 years. we been married for 6 months. She been reluctant set an appointment.

2007-09-17 03:20:26 · 15 answers · asked by Nordic god 1

things have not been too good between me and my husband for a while, there have been many up and downs and I feel that i am of no great importance to him right now,. He finds it hard to talk and never pays me attetionand barely acknowleges me sometimes.

A guy at work started paying me attention and i was flatered, he then said he wanted to be with me, and as tempting as it was to kiss him I told him I loved my husband. there was a chemistry but I never took it further.

Last night during an argument i told my husband about this other guy and how alive it made me feel knowing someone liked me and made me feel attractive and desired. Im now so scared of what will happen with us. When we first met he was quite a jelous man and I thought my confession would shock him into bucking his ideas up, but he simply put his shoes on and left. He always told me that fancying someone else was cheating and that he would leave if that ever happened. What do you think he will do?

2007-09-17 03:16:00 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Women: Do you agree with the statement, ' Do as I say not as I do?"

Is it okay if your significant other had multiple affairs with other woman and was still be able to come home to you without you questioning their behavior or actions? What if you should be the one to have an affair? Should your mate be entitled to getting all worked up and upset over your indiscretion?

And, men:

Why do you think your wives or girlfriends should have to follow your rule of thumb "Do as I say and not as I do?"
What makes you think it''s okay for you to cheat, but when your love ones go out to explore better opportunities; you practically want to rip her and the guy a new butt hole?

Please help me to understand the reasoning behind all this maddness

2007-09-17 02:57:51 · 17 answers · asked by plumprump26 4

women complain all the time about how hard it is, i have twins and i think its cake!!!

i think these women just dont put forth the effort!!!

2007-09-17 02:54:30 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

but are commited to thier spouses?

2007-09-17 02:49:56 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

here's the cinch. "B" and "G" got married when they were 18 years of age. "B" only married "G" since he was pressured by his parents. When they were still lovers, "B" tried asking "G" if they can make love, "G" declined and told him that "B" shall wait until they get married. So, they got married but "G"s promise did not come. After 3years "G" went to Manila to work, and "B" eventually became a sugar trader in Negros. Because of their separation "B" was often seen with "X" and he frequents the various nightspots in B.C. After 9 years "B" wanted his marriage with "G" annulled on the ground of psychological incapacity. If you were the judge how would you decide the case...

2007-09-17 02:44:14 · 21 answers · asked by Chattie Evangelista 1

I've been dating this guy for over 3 months. He was still married but was getting a divorced. He then found that his wife was pregnant for five months and hadn't even told him. He then told me that he is going to work things out with her after we had already started making plans to live together after the divorced was finalized. If he really wants to work things out with her then why does he still talk to me? I know we both love each other but we want whats best for the child. I just need some advice on this situtation. Please help me sort this out.

2007-09-17 02:41:52 · 8 answers · asked by Ginger 1

so she doesnt leave him?

2007-09-17 02:39:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need any kind of serious marriage advice from men and women considering any marriage issue

I'M REALLY SCARED AND SO WORRIED
i cant get enough advice and i have ZERO experience in realationships

Thanks in advance ^__^

2007-09-17 02:38:45 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

My ex-wife has driven me out of Australia, she has lied to all my children. My son was living with me in England and he went back for a holiday and now she's turned him against me and he is stayng there. I have a 9 year old daughter and a 16 year old daughter. My son was 13 when he came with me because she called the police on him for throwing a mobile at the wall. She has lied to the police, spent hours in lawyers concocting ways to destroy me, I have spent thousands on trying to defend myself and didn't have any money left to continue fighting her. She has told the kids that if I really loved them I would of defended myself against her and she is extremely manipulative and tells them I have left the country because I can't be bothered having kids now which is not true. I feel like completely giving up, what does everyone think. This has been going on for 4 years.

2007-09-17 02:36:15 · 26 answers · asked by thfc2004 1

my husband dosnt talk to me first about nothing he sold his brother a truck and he owes us 6000.00 since may has not paid a penny and we carry the insurance not to mention he just loand another brother 1200.00 and now his sister wants us to pay air fair for her to come visit it cost 2800.00 she didnt want to get up to early for the 2000.00 flight for her family so she is putting us out another 800.00 dollars he dosnt ask me about it until he does it not to mention its my birthday and he asked me to wait till xmas for my ring our money is tight i feel like leaving him im hurt and pd off i cant even look at him and she wants to stay at our house for a few days while we paid for her to come do i have a right to feel this way im in the marriage to and work he has no regards for my feelings.

2007-09-17 02:22:27 · 38 answers · asked by Alica 2

2007-09-17 01:53:02 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

try and make a long story short. moved closer to my mom in december due to her health. well, just recently her health has taken a turn for the worse.

here's the situation. i'm starting to feel like i have to choose between my husband or my mom. in my heart i feel like i need to do all i can do to help my mom. i honestly believe that... she took care of me when i was growing up, til i left home. now, i feel like it's my turn to do all i can do to help take care of her. my husband is not very helpful/thoughtful in this situation. he wants me to spend more time with him instead of caring for my mom all the time (cause i haven't been giving him the attention that he feels he needs). i feel like its goin to cost me my marriage. which i told him that he's being selfish. he has NO relationship with his mom, so he doesn't understand.

i know what my heart is telling me to do, i just wanted to get advice on what others are thinking

2007-09-17 01:15:42 · 33 answers · asked by kittymeow63 2

My previous question, about leaving my husband recieving extremely helpfull advice, Thank you to all who answered. But now I realize how much of my situation is my fault. I don't know if i've ever been so affriad of waking up in my life...Okay here it goes.

I've been on one drug or another since i was 8 years old. My parents divroced when I was ten and I had no rules or consequences. At twelve I was admitted into the hospital for swallowing an entire bottle of exedrine. I needed to feel I had controll of something so I wouldn't eat. At 78 pounds when they shoved a feeding tube up my nose, I continued to be a pain for everyone for a month when I was released. My mom she sent me to Idaho with my best friends family(We we unseperable since before we can remember). This family was 6 boys and 1 girl, so naturally growing up was a fight. I snuck down from the attic into a room where her brother and his friend were. I was messing around with her brother like many times before.

2007-09-17 00:53:50 · 15 answers · asked by screamingecho 2

Would you say the spark / fizz have gone out of your relationship? Do you think its worth trying to stay together? My mum and dad argues regularly, but they've been together 37 years. Is it worth sticking with someone in a rotten relationship where only one is prepared to try? When do i give up?

2007-09-17 00:40:23 · 22 answers · asked by Wisdom 4

My live-in boyfriend has 3 girls that he has joint custody of. (Ages 14, 13 and 10). The problem is he think he has to buy their love. Their mom is always talking bad about him and us to the girls. He has always paid his child support on time and puts out large amounts of money to them above that , he goes above and beyound what is expected as an ex-husband. He gives into their every whim because he doesn't want them to "hate" him. I tried to show him that they do love him that they are taking advantage of him. He agrees that they are. But I think he thinks that the more he buys for them and the more he caters to them that things will get better, he doesn't see that what he is doing is only going to make things much worse. Any advice on what I can do to help him or makes things easier for him. It is tearing him apart and I know that eventually it will tear us apart also. Thanks for all your advice.

2007-09-17 00:25:45 · 20 answers · asked by dreamgirl 2

2007-09-17 00:12:48 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous