It been 2 weeks sense my wife and I have had sex. last weekend was my birthday. Sex has been 3 time a weeks and she seemed interested but i have the higher sex drive. She said she not interested in sex at all. Nothing. I asked her if it was me or if she doesn't desire me anymore or doesn't love me. she says she doesn't bust does not have the interest for sex. SHe said she she has been trying but she cant. She promised me for my birthday she would and she always pushed me me away when i was in the mood. It wasn't rushed either we went out had a romantic time everyday all weekend and nothing. I don't know what to do. But sex has been less but not it has stopped. I feel hurt and lost that my wife doest want me. She said she does nothing in terms of sex. She has to go to the doctor for new birth pill. I dont killed her sex drive but she been on then for 2 years. we been married for 6 months. She been reluctant set an appointment.
2007-09-17 03:20:26 · 15 answers · asked by Nordic god 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she is 21 and im 22. have n kids and she doesnt work.
2007-09-17 03:22:54 · update #1
I haven't really been pushing her. she said birthday weekend we would make love have romantic time. I took her dinner then went dancing gosh we had really good time. when we got home and i close she would push me away then she told she wasnt interested in sex anymore
2007-09-17 03:38:13 · update #2
she was the the one who broke my virginity. When we were engaged and first married we had sex 3 times a day. She want try all the positions. we talk abou how old we be still make love. All that is gone. I just feel lost how she opened me up now she is closed.
2007-09-17 03:48:53 · update #3
Well I tired talking to her and she got very angry on the phone. When i got home she would not talk to me. SO i took her a message place for hour and half and really cheered her up and took her to dinner. I was really tired when i got home. So i went to bed and she woke me up was sitting on me naked and started making out with me and rubbing her self on me. When i started she said no and laid next with her back to me. I tired talking to her again she told me she bored with her life and need something to do. But she says she wont go out with out me, has not tried to work or making friends. Then she started to cry and said everything ok and she say go away to me she smashed her pillow on her face trying to suffocate her self and I stopped her and she said she didnt love me and we both cried and finally she said she wasnt good enough for me which i told her she is and that i love her. Now she does says she does love me. Last night we talked simple talk.
2007-09-18 03:19:30 · update #4
I don't know why so many women go through this...it seems to be a very common thing. Try to find SOMETHING that will get her going. Buy her a vibrator...
She needs to tell you what is wrong. Just ASK her...Maybe it is something as easy as you taking a shower first or giving her some pleasure first.
2007-09-18 02:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. There could be some thing that you can change, the others are up to her.
1. You mentioned BC, when I was on the pill I didn't have much of a sex drive. See if she can switch to a lower hormone dosage. BTW when I got off BC I was wanting it more than my husband at times. I noticed that the week b4 my period and the week after I don't want sex (which is 2 weeks). Every woman is different, but hormones will play a big role in sex drive.
2. Try something new. Some men would be surprised how many women actually like wantching porn, to an extent. I am not sure how conservative you are, but get her and her girlfriends to throw a sex toy party. She doesn't necessarily have to buy any "toys" but it might spark her interest in sex in general. You could also try giving her back rubs, foot massages, taking showers together, send her sweet messages etc. Depending on what kind of woman she is, she might like the sweet stuff.
3. Back to square one: you may have to go back to dating her. I mean, take her on dates, and go back to that wonderful feeling of finding someone you really really like when everything is new. Remember how you got her to be intimate the first time.
4. The last thing: being married is a totally new world. Give her time. Just so you know 2 weeks is not that long at all. It may feel like it for you, but the worse thing you can do is make her feel like that is your only interst.
Good Luck
2007-09-17 10:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by Corbin's Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there... you sound very hurt and anxious....
I can only tell you that you need to relax and not focus so much on the sex part. Putting pressure on her does not help.
Maybe there are other issues... you say she doesn't work and maybe she is worried about getting pregnant when financially it isn't a good time. There could also be some emotional fulfilment issues not being met.
Life is like that you know... women have emotional needs and they need them met in order to be able to even think about sex. There is lots you can do... read read read.... tons of books and info out there on the topic. Knowledge is the key for a healthy lasting relationship.
So ease up... get informed .... be there for her and she will respond.
Good luck
2007-09-17 10:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by Say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it easy. Her natural hormones may have a lot to do with it. If it continues then explore the problem further. But don't push her. Nothing drives a woman's sex drive down as being coerced into it. Give her time and space, you guys are very young and just starting. It's not the end of the world. In the meantime, take some cold showers.
2007-09-17 10:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by Duncan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe something is going on with her body. Cysts on ovaries can make sex painful. Maybe there is something going on. Also have you noticed any other sign's like depression or anything? All I am saying is that there could be many many factors that might not have anything to do with you. Especially this early in your marriage. Just be supportive and don't push her. Take her to the doctor, at least eliminate biological factors first.
2007-09-17 10:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens, it sucks, but happens. Its not that she doesn't love you, you both just have different drives. Most men get theirs in the twenties while most women are their thirties. ITS NOT YOU, it may be stress, it may be the birth control pills. Even if she has been on them for 2 years, they can make changes to them. Like I was on Yira, and they made another Yira. (Can't quite remember it since it has been so long since we've been on BC) The first one was fine, but the new one they came out with made my drive go down. I am off of them, we're done having kids and I want it all the time.
2007-09-17 10:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have just been married and your wife has no desire for sex , were you and her sexually active before marriage,
idont think these birth control pills have anything to do with sex drive it could be hormone unbalance in her, you have been married for 6 months its hard for me to try and understand what she is going though she needs some professional help. you both are still young are you both in love with each other.
bes t of luck
2007-09-17 10:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are both of you too stressful in work? you should try some 'new moves' in bed!! or seek counselling session!! i've been married for 20 yrs and still having sex 2 - 3 times a week!!
2007-09-17 10:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by bec 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to being Married it happends to guit a few marriges> Have her get a job to much idle time and TV>Hate to say it but there might be some 1 else>>Seems strange No sex why the pill >
2007-09-17 10:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've read where some women go sexually frigid for no reason sometimes. Just work on it with her. Don't want to leave a good thing for what might be a temporary situation.
2007-09-17 10:30:02 · answer #10 · answered by maximus_1914 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋