Why do women love sex before they get married? Woman only answer please.?

Question

I dated my now wife 2 years before we where married and she was an animal in the bedroom satisfying my every need as i did hers. Now that we have been married for almost a year and a half we are lucky to have sex once every 3 to 4 weeks and then she only wants a quickie. She says she has lost the desire to have sex and has even suggested that I get a mistress but still stay with her. I only want to be with my wife. What type of stimulates are available for women who are ashamed to ask for help?

there are no children involved and she has on weight and doesn't feel sexy but I do every thing I can to try and make her feel sexy if she is cheating it would have to be at work because she spends evry other minute with me.

i have done the date nite and the flowers and the suprises i put more effort into her now than before. there isn't anything that any one of you have mentioned that i haven't done. but she needs to make the next step. she is nt the woman i was dating or married and mistress can't make me feel as good as my wife. and no she isn't bi trust me i did try that idea more than once.

Answer 1

Get ready for the ouch...

You bore her. if you want to keep her...you must learn new things and try new things.
-toys
-strip clubs
-swing

Marriage in this world of choice must learn to adapt. try it.

Answer 2

26 year old married female with a 2, 3 and 6 year old. I think there has to be a balance between the two. i think once your married it's always making love, at least for me it is. So sex and making love are essentially the same to me. i know not everyone feels that way. I find that sometimes the most stimulating sex is when My mother in law drops by and takes the kids out to grab dinner and my husband and I have a limited time to get the job done. the urgency makes it feel like your doing something naughty. But there is also plenty to be said about a night of long slow or maybe not so slow sex. Mixing it up keeps it exciting. Plus, when we have a quickie, it seems we both want just a liiiitle more later that night, and so the circle goes.

Answer 3

You sound like you're going through a slump. Try spicing it up with roleplaying, toys, & new places/scenarios. Whatever you do, do NOT get a mistress. That will only backfire on you.

You may also want to get into couple's therapy with your wife. There's nothing to be ashamed of. The first year is the easy part, but it's years 2-5 that are REALLY hard. You're past the honeymoon phase & now you are both familiar to each other. I can't explain why it's different than dating, but being married to someone is different than dating them.

I suggest that for the next time you have sex you take her to a motel & roleplay as different people. You can "pick her up" at a local bar (or downstairs at the hotel) & take her back for "anonymous sex". Sometimes all you need is a change of pace.

Answer 4

Are there children involved? They can be the biggest stressors to a marriage. Also, is she overwhelmed with work and the household chores? She may see this as "another chore". Are you the same person too? Do you still romance her and take her out on dates? Or do you just go home, sit in front of the TV, and just expect her to be waiting in the bedroom with lingerie? Somewhere, her needs are not being met either! If there are children involved...get her a sitter for a couple of hours, does she also work outside the home, then has to come home to cook and clean? Get her a housekeeper once a week, or "do" takeout once a week. Find out what's stopping her from returning your attentions, by talking to her. Another suggestion is to get away for the weekend! Nothing dampens the mood like staring at the same 4 walls, on the same bed, with dishes piled up in the sink, and kids knocking outside the bedroom door asking,"what ya doin' in there"? If you let this continue in your marriage, you'll both be headed to disaster. Good luck!! I don't think she's having an affair, as some women have suggested.

Answer 5

Not all women stop wanting to have sex after they get married. I certainly didn't.

I don't know any woman who is does not have a chemical imbalance in their brains or someone on the side who tells their husband to get a mistress. She doesn't seem to care about your needs.

Maybe its not her sex drive that's the problem. I think you two need to have a serious talk. If she loves you and you tell her that you only want her and no one else. And that she needs to get help because the mistress is not an option. She should go and seek help. If she does not, I would look to other factors, the unfaithful kind (On her part).

Answer 6

Things do change after marriage, don't know why, but they do..You both probably work and at the end of the day, both are exhausted,..are there children now??? Kids seem to take all of your strength, together with running a home and working, that alone would change the way she feels about sex. Go to her and tell her how you are feeling. I know you will be able to reach her..Maybe once a week, you and she can make special time for one another..Try alot of different things to get her attention. Send her special notes, all her unexpectly...There are alot of ways you can turn her on, long before you reach the bedroom. Just use your imagination. Women love that in a man. Good luck, your getting laid is up to you.

Answer 7

Ashamed to ask for help? What have you done for her to be aroused? Maybe you are expecting her to do all the cleaning, cooking, and possibly hold down a job while you do nothing to help her. She needs mental stimulation as well as sexual stimulation from you. Don't treat her as if she is only there to please you all the time. Are you keeping yourself clean and in shape? Romance her the way you probably use to do. I seriously doubt it is all her. Something has happened as it does sound as if she has found enjoyment someplace else if she is suggesting a mistress for you. Women do not tell their husbands to go get a girlfriend or mistress unless she is doing the same thing.

Scratch the cheating thing, I am sorry I said that. If she has put on weight then the birthcontrol she is on could be affecting her libido and causing weight gain.

Answer 8

It is all a part of the chase. We want to show you that we can please you. After marriage we no longer feel the need to do that. Plus all of the newness of the relationship is over. My advice is spice things up.... be romantic about it and dont tell her. You plan it all and surprise her. Get a hotel room somewhere close set it all up without her then go get her take her out to dinner (somewhere not to heavy as it is hard to do that with a ful stomach) then go for a walk and hold her hand walk all the way to the hotel. We like to be treated. And if this doesn't work ask me again i have more ideas for ya!

Answer 9

she doesn't feel good about herself. Her self esteem is real low, and right now she is just trying to survive everyday life.

Woman can get in a rut, just like men, but when a woman starts to feel like she cant keep up with what everyone expects of her, working, taking care of a house, keeping a husband happy, trying to stay young and fit, she just has a feeling of giving up.

First of all I commend you for not wanting to take a mistress, and wanting to work this out with your wife.

The most important thing you can do for her is help her regain her self confidence, re-connect on a mental intimate level, then it will automatically turn to physical intimate level. Compliment her, not only on her appearance but also on her mind. Ask her questions, how she did something, or how she would handle something. This will make her feel important and that she does have something to offer. Things like wow dinner was delicious, or how to you find time to do all that, or even you are so good at handling this, will go along way with her.

As far as the physical aspect, start off small, pinch her behind while she at the sink, a neck rub while she is cooking, hold her hand while your walking in a store. Stuff like that will send her soaring.

Good luck, and remember its not you, it is her, but you can get her out of it.

Answer 10

Here we go again with young love first of all you have been married for only 2 years and your wife is now not interested in sex anymore and suggest that you get a mistress but still stay with her. If you want to stay in sexless marriage than thats your choice and if your wife cant forfull her duty as being your wife you need to put end to this. becausse if you do get a mistress and start develop feelings for her than what. you dont have marriage to began with so it would be easier for you to just leave, she doesnt want to have sex with you but wants to stay married to you whats the point.

best of luck

Answer 11

Lol, she sounds like me. My husband and I would have sex two or three times a day before we were married, now I'm just like whatever you want. Mostly I do it to make him happy, not because I want to. Keep in mind women don't reach their sexual peak until about age 35. I have a few more years to go and my husband knows that so he's waiting. I don't know of any medicine she could take to increase libido, but if I did I'd take it myself. Try cuddling with candlelight and getting her in the mood first. Perhaps all she needs is foreplay and to know she's still loved. Explain how you feel, but don't get angry. My husband tends to get upset with me and we have sex about once a week. I never initiate it so I'm trying to work on that. Tell her you love her and want her to be happy and ask for suggestions from her as to how you can put her in the mood. Good luck and if you have any luck I'd be interested to know what worked.