What should I do? This weekend is our annual end of summer retreat with my family. My husband & kids, my parents and my brothers family. My parents book rooms and we all look forward to it every year. Well my husbands cousin is getting married this same weekend. They aren't even close but he thinks we should go to make his mom happy!! I NEVER make him go to family functions if he doesn't want to go, though he usually does go. I know he would rather go with my family but he feels obligated. I'm thinking of telling him to go alone to the wedding and I'll go with my kids & family to the relaxing weekend. Am I wrong? Or should I just get over it and go to the wedding with my husband?
2007-09-17 03:43:30 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, let me tell you from experience, marriage is a committment that takes work. Since I don't know you I can be blunt, it sounds like you are being selfish. You're putting your husband in a very uncomfortable position, basically telling him he can either choose to go do what you want to do or go by himself to the wedding. So to answer one of your questions, yes, I think you're wrong. And let me address something else you said, "I'll go with my kids & family to the relaxing weekend", just who do you consider your "family" to be? Now that you are married and have children your husband and kids are your "family" and they should always come first. I'm not saying alienate yourself from your parents and siblings but you now have an obligation to your immediate family, i.e. your husband and your children. How strongly does he feel about this weekend? Sounds to me you are giving your husband an ultimatum and that's just wrong. Do you always seem to be the decision maker when things like this come up? Do you have a problem with your husband's side of the family? Can you two not compromise and attend both, or are they too far away from one another? Bottom line, you may need to reevaluate your priorities.
2007-09-17 03:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by Doug H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get over it and go with your man. The two of you can go to the retreat later, after the wedding. He feels obligated to go to this wedding and you should feel obligated to your husband. He goes to family functions, though you don't ask him to, but if he didn't I am sure you would be upset and I'm sure he knows this. The very least you could do is give him the same courtesy. The benefit of your husband knowing that you put his feelings above all others and stood by him as his wife will make this dilemma a minor one.
A good man is only as strong as his woman and she holds the power in the relationship.
2007-09-17 10:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by Gretta 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, but my gut says go to the wedding. Remember that your family has the end of summer thing every year. His cousin only gets married once (hopefully). But if they are not close, I then tend to lean towards your family function. Maybe your husband could talk it over with his mother.
2007-09-17 10:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by Jessie H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one ! Would it be so horrible to miss the "annual retreat" this one time for your husbands side of the family... ? Especially since you NEVER make him attend your functions but, he goes willingly anyway. It's one weekend and if you don't go it might make things a tad akward with your in-laws and who needs that ? Besides it would be a good chance for you to spend time with your husbands side of the family and maybe meet some of them you haven't ! It's just one weekend...
2007-09-17 10:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A wedding happens once. This family retreat goes every year. Go to the wedding.
2007-09-17 10:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that the two of you should stay together no matter your decision. Do not go to seperate events. Make a decision as a team and go together. I usually beleive that a wedding trumps an annual event, but it is a decision you should decided on together.
2007-09-17 10:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by slov72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would do the weekend with your family
its something that you do every year...are your kids going to be upset if they have to go to a wedding where they dont even know the bride or the groom?
i am sure your husband will understand that your family function only comes once a year and it means alot to you
good luck
2007-09-17 10:50:49 · answer #7 · answered by Joey 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you should go with your husband. I don't believe that the man goes by himself with out his wife especially into weddings. What is he going to tell people "my wife didn't want to come with me" or " she rather to be with her family relaxing rather than being with me" doesn't make sense. Going with him would make him happy…
2007-09-17 10:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
go to the wedding with your husband then go on the relaxing weekend.
2007-09-17 10:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by Holly T 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try work it out... maybe you can go for both. It's all in the planning. Unless of course, that is totally out of the question. Maybe you should stand by your man this time.. since he's been such a nice guy going to family functions with you.
2007-09-17 10:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by sabrewilde666 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋