My ex-wife has driven me out of Australia, she has lied to all my children. My son was living with me in England and he went back for a holiday and now she's turned him against me and he is stayng there. I have a 9 year old daughter and a 16 year old daughter. My son was 13 when he came with me because she called the police on him for throwing a mobile at the wall. She has lied to the police, spent hours in lawyers concocting ways to destroy me, I have spent thousands on trying to defend myself and didn't have any money left to continue fighting her. She has told the kids that if I really loved them I would of defended myself against her and she is extremely manipulative and tells them I have left the country because I can't be bothered having kids now which is not true. I feel like completely giving up, what does everyone think. This has been going on for 4 years.
2007-09-17 02:36:15 · 26 answers · asked by thfc2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hard as it may seem...give up. If she is really that manipulative and decietful, then you really don't have that much going for you. You're children will come to realize how wrong they have been and they will come to seek you out after some time. Make sure you try to maintain some contact with them (although she will probably hide the letters and not let them know that you did ) and let them know that there will always be a place for them at your side. The fight at this point is probably doing more harm than good.
2007-09-17 02:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by kerfitz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the ex-wife. If all you talk to the children about is your ex-wife, when they grow up, they will resent the both of you. You need to focus on telling your kids how much you love them and following through on your promises. Don't let the ex pull you down. When the kids grow up they will see the both of you as regular people with faults not just listen to everything one parent says about the other. This is a bad place for the kids to be in. Whether or not your ex is a b1tch matters not. Be there for your kids. That is all that matters, and they will see that one day.
Be strong and good luck!
2007-09-17 02:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think this is very sad for you and your children. How did she drive you out of Australia? Is there anyway you could relocate to Australia,because your chances would be greater there to visit your children;plus your children could see you for who you really are.Your children are the ones who will suffer the most...and then one day the grandchildren! Does your ex have someone in her family that you could relate to and communicate with...this could open doors.Is there a organization for divorced dads...this could help,we have a group in the U.S..Talk with an attorney and don't give up...life has a way of turning things around and pray.Best wishes!
2007-09-17 02:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by ana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of this must be tough esp involving your children. The best thing that I can tell you is let your children know how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Dont involve your children with what is going on. The more they hear you or her talk about it, the more of an opinion they will have. Let them make their own decision. And now it may not be in the one you would like it to be because they do live with their mother and she likes to fill their head, But think long term. In five or ten years when your oldest daughter is out on her own and she needs someone to talk to. She will want someone who is not going to bring added drama.
As far as your ex wife, it sounds like she feeds off of getting you worked up and pitting your children against her.
Talk to your children as much as possible, Make sure that they are in a safe enviroment, but dont pry to much. And remind them everyday you can you love them, miss them and think of them very much
2007-09-17 02:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to pack your things and move back!
Get a lawyer and sue her for complete custody, with supervised visitation. on the basis that she is using the the kids as a way to get back at you, she is lying to them, and that is keeping them from you.
If I were you I dont think I would get the kids involved, if you have 100% proof that what she is saying is a lie, show them that proof, dont make it a he said-she said situation. the kids shouldnt feel like they have to choose between parents.. but if you have physical proof on a lie she has said, let the kids know it is not true by showing the physical proof. There is a good chance it wont work well because you have let it go on for so long.. but keep it up... they will see in time what she is.
Whatever you do, do not let her come between you and your children.. that is the #1 reason you need to move closer to them. Stop fighting to defend yourself, fight to make her stop!
2007-09-17 02:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by billiecep2 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there is not any might desire to question his motives anymore, you recognize the respond the deep down and that's to decrease all ties with this loser. His undesirable spouse is probable at her wits end and has been harm deeply by using all of this and that i will purely wish in some unspecified time interior the destiny she will have the means to return in the process the emotional turmoil and see him for sure for what he's. despite if he replaced into in love with you, it wasn't actual love, in the different case he might are starting to be to be a divorse, and a minimum of been trustworthy with you. he's placed you thru an marvelous quantity of drama and rigidity already, why permit him proceed? forget approximately his calls, as difficult as this is, and decrease him out completely. In time it gets extra straightforward and you will finally end up thinking of him much less and much less. Having this bags putting over you will make it extra durable to fulfill good adult adult males too - which i'm beneficial you deserve! despite if he's flipping out or no longer... forget approximately him...
2016-10-09 08:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend; What you have been going through is awful. I went through the same thing and it is still going on 12 years later. The only thing you can do is plan for the day that you see them again. Go to a therapist get the info you need to repair the damage later. Keep all hard copy of court records. Be prepared to take them to counseling after you break the ice. It is going to take 20 to 25 years to repair the relationship. Are you ready to invest this kind of time? God Bless and Good Luck.
2007-09-17 03:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the issue going on with you and your ex should be between you and her, the children will see when they want to see but it would not be benefitting to you to point out the obvious. A mom is always held in the higher level of light than a dad and they'll end up hating you for it and distrusting you. Bide your time, they'll see it soon enough if there is something to be seen.
2007-09-17 02:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Guinness L♥ver 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to start with it doesn't matter what your ex has said or done, ( many will not agree with me here ) but you never NEVER tell your child(ren) anything bad about your ex, whether it be true or false, you look at what you have said, if what you have said is true, let the children find out themselves and they will but seems like you have run away to hide, why didn't you stay and show your love for your children, would be interesting to know how she drove you out of australia, you must be a weak person not to have stood up for your rights as a father, but stand up for them without hate, bitterness and anger, you should have worked with her for the welfare of your children, my ex and I get on really good, simply because I would not argue, I would listen, say what I thought and I got respect.
2007-09-17 02:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by please ask m 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be accountable for yourself, not for her anymore since the two of you are divided on everything accept the fact that although you love your kids, you need them to immaturely pick sides. You should ask yourself, "How can I prove to my children that the truth needs no witnesses."
The truth speaks for itself.
Let them be kids, as much if any innocence that they have left will be owed to your integrity, if you let them.
The world is harsh enough without having to continue to stand in the middle of the mindfield of their parents' marriage crumbling.
Don't ever give up.
Just BE STILL and let God be God. (Psalm 46:10).
Stop fighting and just LOVE your kids.
No more negative words.
Just T R U T H
and always,
L O V E.
It conquers all.
2007-09-17 02:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by Sleek 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋