Family - September 2007

After conflict over claims of childhood sexual abuse by 2 sisters & me ...I was shut out by 4 siblings & my father.

I remained in relationship with my mother (with cancer) and 2 sisters (with cancer & mental illness) for 3 yrs.

However they participated in excluding me from family events & news (incl. the pregnancy of a sister) & it was too painful for to stay in communication.

That left me with one brother living OS with whom I had no contact for a few yrs. I contacted him a yr ago...perhaps seeing him as my last white hope. Was told his wife was 8 mths pregnant...another surprise. Ouch. Yet we began to re-connect with occasional confused anger from him as I revealed my story.

Then his first child was born in Jan....disabled. I found out from his blog.

I sent messages of love & support. His responses were grateful, but distant & cold. More recently, he has been aggressive again as he believes I have caused pain to our elderly parents.

Time to say last goodbye? Help

2007-09-26 15:28:48 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-09-26 15:19:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

My dad just moved to Massachusetts by himself for his job, and my mom stayed behind in Michigan while I go to school in CT, my parents are not divorced.

I spend at least half an hour on the phone with my mom everyday (because she's lonely) and then another half hour talking to my dad because he's also lonely. They both do not seem to eat 3 full meals a day because of their separation from the family, so I call them after mealtimes to make sure they've eaten.

Dad keeps talking about visiting me, and it's not like I hate his visiting, I would love for him to visit me but I also need to spend some time at school and take a break on the weekends without being busy going back and forth between MA and CT.

What should I do? I love my family but I don't know how to get some time for myself without cutting them off. I can't stop worrying about them, I don't know what else to do besides the constant phonecalls, visits, and reassurances.

2007-09-26 15:18:18 · 5 answers · asked by yupgigirl 4

2007-09-26 15:16:58 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

I figure we'll probably have kids by the time hes 40. I'll be 30...give or take. Will it be too much for him to handle parenthood? I want to wait to have kids because I want to be financially and emotionally stable, mostly financially, but I dont want to hinder him...
He doesnt SEEM to care, he knows we want the best for our future children so he doesnt mind waiting, but would it be too long? Are there any older parents out there and how is it?

Nowadays everyone is like 18 when they have a kid or younger! ...I just dont want to make the mistake of waiting...until its too late.

2007-09-26 15:13:32 · 11 answers · asked by fYi 5

my uncle and aunt have been married for 10yrs and are seperated now because my aunt was just going crazy about everthing is their life. They have 2 kids that are 5 and 6 and after my aunt had the kids she changed so much and all she does is beat them and doesn't take care of them. She doesn't let my uncle touch anything in the house and is always yelling at everyone. So finally my uncle moved out with the two kids but now my aunt is getting help from a Womens Place to get custody of the kids but when you ask the kids who they want to stay with they say with their dad. Is there anything my uncle can do to get help also like she can....he is very very tight on money as well and he doesn't care to get back with my aunt he just cares about keeping the kids. He worries all the time and no matter how much we tell him not to worry he always does and me being his neice I don't know what to do or say anymore. Also my aunt was cheating on him with some guy and that guy gets his cell phone

2007-09-26 14:59:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-09-26 14:55:54 · 5 answers · asked by blaqking45 3

I'm 13 and he's 15 and this evening we had a fight because I thought he was being too protective and everything.

Normally, we have a really great relationship. We hang out and I know I can talk to him about anything and he's always there for me. He sticks up for me and protects me and he's such a great brother.

Anyway, during the fight, I was getting really mad so I yelled at my brother, "I HATE YOU!" Then I ran upstairs. I feel horrible because I didn't mean it and I really love him and I want him to know that. What should I do?

2007-09-26 14:51:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need some sweet wording to express that my wonderful Mom is turning 80 yrs old and everyone is welcome to come and celebrate. It's a surprise. Her siblings & some of their kids are coming, all from out of town.

We'll have the birthday at a hotel, so will give name & location
starting at noon
lunch will be served

Mom thinks that one of her grandaughters is being honored by her employer - so this is the ruse to get mom & dad to the hotel. Dad is in on it. I've got to get these invites mailed by Friday.

Thanks to all for your suggestions!
092607 7:15

2007-09-26 13:17:25 · 4 answers · asked by YRofTexas 6

my brother has a girl friend I realy dont like and Im afraid hes going to marry her and I just dont want her as my sister-in-law. I have tryed to like her, she just seems to want to movin on the family and that bugs me. what do I do?

2007-09-26 12:37:23 · 23 answers · asked by The Living Night 2

Both my grandmothers have diabetes. One of them just barely has it I think. My mom is in the early stages of it. My maternal grandpa had it. Almost every "grand" relationship I have (like grandmothers, great grandmother) have (or had) some kind of heart problem. Everyone in my family is diagnosed with depression. My mom was diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder. I swear my dad and my aunt have mild paranoia. But they haven't been diagnosed with it.

2007-09-26 12:30:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a 19 year old boy from NY. I'm very sad and I want to stay a teenager for a while, what should I do?
I am currently a 19 year old boy from NY. I am so happy with me. I like who I am and everything about me. I eat healthy and excercise. I stand at the height of 5' 8" and weigh 128 lbs. I look like I am a 15 year old boy!!!!!!!!! I love my young looks. I want to stay a teen boy. I want my mom still to be there like she is now, she takes me to college in the am and picks me up each day at around 3. also tennagers dont have to pay bills, but hopefully ill be fine cuz my parents pay 4 my college and books n clothes and all other stuff. I'll Be 20 pretty soon. (6 1/2 months) - (4-14-08) An anyway, i don't feel ready 4 20, im like 15 physicaly and emotionally, an not really ready nor up for stuff like sex and stuff. I'm very sad and I want to stay a teenager for a while, what should I do?
Help! I don't feel like 20 and I want to stay a teenager for a while, I am pretty sad, and don't know what to do.

2007-09-26 12:27:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

The two people I live with who refuse to clean up after themselves are my mom and my sister. My sister is like my mom, a filthy environment doesn't bother her too much. I'm like my dad, I can't stand clutter. Anyways, my mom and sister never clean up behind themselves. If you ask them to clean up something that you share with them (such as the bathroom or pots and pans), they say no. How do I deal with this?

2007-09-26 11:18:05 · 10 answers · asked by lost.in.love 4

i know this isnt really none of my business but still..i think its a little creepy that she just found out that my sister smokes cigarettes and that my brother has done weed a few times and she hasnt done anything to them...she hasnt even punished them which i dont get...wouldnt you punish or at least beat the sh!t out of your child if you thought they were doing drugs and found out it was true...what should i do??shouid i just stay out of it??

2007-09-26 11:16:38 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

The problems I have with my mother go way back to my childhood - very critical, overbearing, bitchy to my friends (childhood) and now my husband. Everyone that knows her can hardly stand being around her for long - I've basically become ashamed of her. Most recently, she was criticizing my husband. I politely told her I didn't want to discuss it - it was my business, I wish she just be like my Aunt Mary who DOES respect her children and bites her tongue even when she feels something should be said. Well, that was the worst thing I could do because she HATES my Aunt Mary (yes, it's her own sister!) and has stopped speaking to me unless and until I apologize for that remark. I don't feel that I should have to apologize for the remark because it's HOW I FEEL! My whole life I've swallowed my feelings to keep the peace. She doesn't think twice about saying very nasty things to me, thinks it's her RIGHT as a mother/grandmother. If you don't agree with her there's something wrong w/ you

2007-09-26 11:12:08 · 8 answers · asked by Kelli A 1

2007-09-26 10:43:34 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

My dad loves the Gators and I don't really fancy them too much (most of the fans are cocky). He always tries to get me to go to their games, but I really have zero interest in them. Besides, I go to USF (Go Bulls!). Both my brother and sister have attened or are still attending UF, so Im a bit of the black sheep I suppose. Anyways, lately he seems like he has an attitude towards me or something, which kind of worries me a bit. We never had a really open relationship with each other. He was always so hard to talk to when I was young and still is hard to talk to.

Can anyone give me some kind of insight? Anything at all, seriously!

2007-09-26 10:30:29 · 4 answers · asked by The Red One 1

its bothering me soooo much! i hate it when my mommy is dissapointed in me!! please help!

2007-09-26 10:20:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-09-26 10:11:37 · 4 answers · asked by leola g 1

My sister and mother in-law have been driving me crazy to the point were i hate them and i want nothing to do with them. To my mother in-law i am the worst mother and wife to my sister in-law well she has called me every dirty word in the book even in front of my kids. I have decided that i will no longer have ne thing to do with them. Do u think this is wrong? They have put me through hell for the past 5 yrs. I cant take anymore. Oh and my husband doesnt care that they do this to me. Yea i know what a wonderful husband. WHAT DO I DO. HELP!!!! I dont know how much more of this i can take before i leave.

2007-09-26 09:34:49 · 9 answers · asked by Sheena F 1

2007-09-26 09:32:47 · 4 answers · asked by dinehshii 1

I want to live with my uncle, so what do i do? i live with my mom now, but i dont like it here. We always argue , but its never abusive. I am only 13 and am in ohio. so what number can i call or what can i do to live with my uncle?

i cant live with my dad, hes physically unable to take care of me, and my uncle lives close to him so i would be able to see him everyday!

2007-09-26 09:22:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I just had a baby 8 wks. ago, and whenever the baby cries too much my boyfriend gets so angry that he can't stand it anymore and takes it out on the first thing that he see's, which is usually me since we live together and I'm the one in charge of her. I'm only 18, I'm a first time mother, and he just doesn't get it. He thinks I should know everything about babies but I don't, naturally. How can I keep my boyfriend from getting angry at me when the baby cries? Please help me. I don't want to end this relationship if I don't have a good reason.

2007-09-26 08:21:04 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

Well, after months of discussing assisted living with my grandparents and visiting the facility we finally got them moved in. They loved it the first day. We came to visit everyother day. Now it has not even been a week and they told us they hate it. She cant move back into her house because they both have dimensia and he had a stroke. He was overdosing and skipping his medication at the house. Last night we dropped in to say hello and make sure they had some ice cream and she just yelled at me. My sweet little 80 year old grandmother told me that she hates me and she is moving back into her house and I can stay the hell away from her. Of course this made me cry which she just said "Why is she crying?" She thinks he agrees with her that they should move home, but she cant understand what he is saying either. They will have to be split up if they leave and he will go into a nursing home. She has lodging a complaint and wants a lawyer. What do we do?

2007-09-26 08:16:07 · 9 answers · asked by Bridget 3

Ok, so I'm at work and for the second time this month the school calls me to tell me my daughter has head lice and she can't ride the bus home so someone has to come and get her. The first time she was sent home, we were told that her best friend was sent home as well with it. Nobody had ever had it at our home. None of our family members had had it either. The school year had just started up and the kids hadn't been to anyone else's house in a couple of months. So we pretty much ruled everything else out - it has to be coming from this little girl. She's really poor and I guess her parents don't give a crap about her. I cannot afford to take off any more work to deal with this. I'll spend all night combing thru my daughters hair again. She is only 7. How can I teach her to make better friends. Sighs. I know, I'm not being mature, but I'm so incredibly frustrated with this!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-26 08:14:49 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok, so I am 14 years old and my parents are divorced. I've been living with my mom for my entire life and I've decided that I want to move to my dad's because I think I'll become a happier(because all of my best friends live in the same town as my dad) and more successful(because over there I'll join some extra-curricular activity because my friends are there). My mom, I think, has anger issues because she always yells at me for dumb things (like entering the room when she's on the computer and leaving stuff on the floor). By yelling, I MEAN yelling, not talking loudly, YELLING. So I ask my dad to talk to my mom about it and he did. She freaked out and said I'll become like my dad(lazy) and become unsuccessful. She also thinks my friends will change me into a bad person(but she doesn't care about my brother's friends, and HE GOT CAUGHT SMOKING POT WITH THEM). So yeah, I told her that I won't change and she wouldn't listen and she continued to yell. So i wrote her a 2 page letter(contd)

2007-09-26 08:09:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

My mom and sister live together, along with my sister's 3 kids. I love them very dearly and they mean the world to me. They are very poor, and they are always asking me & my husband for money. We paid over $1500 last month to rent them a house in a new state because they hated where they were living. We also paid their car payment and sent them money for food. Now the 1st is almost here and they dont have any money for the rent. My mom cant keep a waitress job and my sister for some reason wont get a job. I am the only one they can count on. What am I supposed to do? I am only 23 and have been married less than a year. I am a full time college student and my husband and I dont have very much money. But I dont want to refuse them because I care about my neices and nephew so much. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone else gone through this?

2007-09-26 07:59:08 · 26 answers · asked by Crystal O 1

I have a 12 year old son from a previous marriage, and my husband has a 13 year old son from a previous marriage, both boys live in our home.

We are running into problems with competition and jealousy which is normal between siblings, but this situation is a little different since there are so many other parents and grandparents involved.

One set of grandparents will buy one child something, so the other one feels left out and is upset. Then a few weeks later, the other child may come home with something better that his dad has bought and allowed him to bring to my house. (We are talking laptops, cell phones, video games, etc.)

Now they are talking about what each other's parents and grandparents outside of our home are going to buy them for Christmas and their birthdays that they will be bringing here. It has already started bad feelings and fights between my husband and I.

Should we tell them they can't bring anything into our house unless we buy it?

2007-09-26 07:39:11 · 4 answers · asked by MO 2

My fiance and I live in the NE and are planning to move to San Diego in 2 years because of the pleasant weather there (both of us hate the snow and cold).

We're both very close with our parents and siblings, and both our families currently live within an hour of where we currently live.

I know they would be heartbroken if we move, especially when we have kids and they would not get to see them that often. Is it bad of us to want to get away and start a new life together across the country? If we could take them all with us, we would.

Please answer without consideration for money, jobs, cost of living, etc. I'm mainly just dealing with guilt issues and whether or not this is all right to do.

2007-09-26 07:37:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

This is my first time having a yard sale and I would like some hints on what I should do or don't do? Should I price things right off the bat or should I let them ask me??? I want to sell everything????

2007-09-26 07:34:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous