Family & Relationships - 8 November 2007

I am 34 and my wife is 27. No kids yet. I am scared to consider having kids, but I love kids. I want to make sure I can be a good husband and a good father without failing at work do to time constraints. Question(s): What is it that usually pushes most people off the diving board...and into the "water" of having children? Is there a special moment...or feeling? Does it JUST MAKE SENSE on paper? I don't want to have kids JUST BECAUSE I am getting older.
I feel selfish because we haven't had children yet. Married for 3 years (first & only marriage to a wonderful woman). Honestly, what will sex be like AFTER having kids? Does it still exist? PLEASE be brutally honest...and don't hold back! I hope that doesn't sound shallow, but I do care about sexual satisfaction...for both parties. Yes...both parties.

2007-11-08 16:33:04 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Family & Relationships

my wife was away with her family when she got back became secrective, i intersepted an SMS to her uncle that read u had better be dreaming of me tonite love u, i confronted her and she gave me a story about mucking around with him then deleted all the other sms without showing me am i right to not feel comfortable about this i no that the number is definatly her uncle not someone else, she has been different since returning

2007-11-08 16:31:36 · 11 answers · asked by finally solo35 1 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-11-08 16:30:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I have been with my husband for 17 yrs. I brought in over$50,000. No prenup. He had a Jeep that he owed money on. Bought a house (my dwnpymt). He liked to bld things and instead of rentng his tools for 40. he buys it for 250. and it sits in the grge. Co. clsd dwn & he was at home for 1 year. Fin. bsmt in 3 mths. Now 2 yrs in new job (hates it). Always angry. My parents have given us over 65,000 in our time together. This year they put in a pool for our child in our home which cost 35,000 daughter Inheritance money. He now wants a divorce and has sep.all his income. I make 200 less then him a week. I do ALL of the inside hswork and hmwrk w/child pr day. He has 2 mtrcyles and 1 van and 1 car. I have a Honda. I pd. off 9000. off visa with our jnt $$ that he claims is his. Find out he wants to buy a truck. Refusng to pay bills. Wants to split bills 50-50. Leaves me 125. pr mnth for gas/groc. He can't affrd hse, but can affrd beer. How cn I teach him a lesson? Need sugg. Thnx

2007-11-08 16:26:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anna D 1 in Marriage & Divorce

Why don't you try harder to be good to each other. We can get along. We are here for each other. Kindness triggers love and it spreads. Life is richer and the bad shrinks. Love is the answer. No good to bully and neglect others. Give more of youself. Isn't that what you really want? Loving and admiring friends and family Imagine a whole community of love and affection. It reall does take a village. You are nobody until somebody loves you.

2007-11-08 16:26:28 · 16 answers · asked by JIM 4 in Friends

i notice most people have friends or a social network that act as like a crutch or something, it seems as peoples lives revolve around relationships, in a social sense i mean. i dont have these values,i go drink alone, talk to girls alone, and work alone, even with studies i do it alone and have to figure the hard stuff out on my own. is this weird from most people

2007-11-08 16:25:18 · 19 answers · asked by jm 1 in Singles & Dating

Me and my fiancee will celebrate our first engagement anniversary on Feb 14th and still we haven't set any day for the wedding. why? we decided to take things slower bc we are both working to pay off for the wedding ( my parents cannot help that much) and i have still to move to the US which is not easy to do (getting the fiance visa) and plus the fact of moving to another country it requires for me to take some money with me. also my fiance wants a big wedding celebration (i want that too) hes family is HUGE and so is mine (even is not all of my family will be attending) and also the fact of living in a new house, it requires responsibility of payments and all that.

so what do you recommend me?

2007-11-08 16:24:13 · 9 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Weddings

I am having my bithday party in my house and i dont know what i should do at my house. well, there is food like pizza and stuff but thats gotta last us about 30 mins and have 7 more hours left with boredness. i am inviting 21 people for my bday party .
and i have no boys coming . so we cant play spin the bottle. HURRY I HAVE ONE MORE MONTH LEFT REPLY ASAP thank you , (;

2007-11-08 16:22:21 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

how to deal with the fact that you are ugly? How do i deal with fact that Im ugly..

2007-11-08 16:20:50 · 12 answers · asked by bluemoon 1 in Family

My wife and I seem to get mad at each other over everything. We have been married 14 months, have a 3 month old child and seem to be just scraping by on the money scale. I know it is stressful for her to be at home all week with the baby while i go to work and I get stressed out too at work. To top it off we are lower on money right now than we have ever been and the stress from that can be overwhelming at times. We just cant seem to get along. Any advice on how to solve some of these issues and also some creative ideas to come up with an extra cushion in the bank (work from home jobs, part time morning job ideas, etc...)

2007-11-08 16:18:01 · 22 answers · asked by BigPants 2 in Marriage & Divorce

i dont want to ask any one

2007-11-08 16:16:22 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

My husbands mother irritates me when it comes to the holidays. She always thinks my family should be the one to roll over and let her have all the exact dates. Christmas irritates me the most. She calls us ahaed of time to tell us what they want for christmas and it is always expensive! Then she gets me some cheap crappy thing and gets my sister inlaw something really expensive.It would not bother me so much if it was just me. She does the same w/ the kids! She gets her daughter 3 or 4 expensive gifts and my child one cheap gift that looks as if it came from the dollar store. Last yr they gave her a doll house, a Dora doll, and grandpa made her a beautiful wooden rocking horse. They gave my son a 50 piece puzzle. I was speachless! My son got tears in his eyes and said, "Is there anything else? Why does she always get more?" I had no answer for him. I just said "Just think of all the cool toys you have now from Santa!"
It is to the point that I do not even want to go. My husband will

2007-11-08 16:14:58 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

I never imagined my father cheating. And he's home every night and all weekend, all the time (I've been staying with my parents while in town on business for almost a month). But I've noticed he's making phone calls every night around 10p after my mother is in bed. He speaks gently and softly, but I've heard the words "ok sweetie" "we'll talk tomorrow" "I love you" and little laughs. I'm freaking out and can't sleep. Do I confront him? Tell my mother? (This would kill her.) What? I tried to check his cellphone when he was asleep but it's locked at night and I can't turn it on. Please help. I'm 38. My parents are 66. Thanks to anyone with help.

2007-11-08 16:10:13 · 46 answers · asked by NYGuy 1 in Family

2007-11-08 16:09:02 · 1 answers · asked by peaches6 7 in Other - Family & Relationships

me and my ex husband have 50/50 custody and i had a review done from the friend of the court on child support they reviewed it 493.00 a month i thought wow (my daughter has lived in my home for 3 1/2 years now ) i have school record stating he goes to school here and lives at my residence and resides with me do i need anything more to prove my case , my ex's lawyer (which he has lied to her ) he told her he gets hr 128 days a in a year and every weekend which he is lying he lives a hour from me .i feel he is a deadbeat dad

2007-11-08 16:06:45 · 7 answers · asked by spolochick 1 in Marriage & Divorce

We have all seen or have experienced traumatic events. Some times they change our lives forever. I've been told many times that what won't kill you will only make you stronger. I have been through one of the most devestating events in my life when I discovered that my husband of 8 years was using drugs. I have been through and worn out every emotion a human being can experience. From pain to rage to sadness, depression and despair. I finally gave him an ultimatum yesterday to either go to rehab or I will file for divorce. I feel I have done everything in my power to help him. You can'
t force someone to want something better for themselves if they don't want it. I have been dealing with this almost a year with no improvement. We are now in the middle of a bankruptcy, we lost everything we worked so hard for I can't do this any more. I love my husband with all my heart, this will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He refuses to get help so I don't have a choice. I'm devestated

2007-11-08 16:06:42 · 23 answers · asked by Evie E 2 in Marriage & Divorce

My fiance just told me that he will be spending xmas ever at his ex-wife's house so he can be there in the morning for xmas for their 2 children. He said he wants xmas to always seem normal for the kids (this is only their 2nd xmas divorced and I wasn't in the picture then). He never wants them to have to celebrate xmas in 2 different days bc they are divorced. I understand that his kids are his priority but I am still devastated that I won't be with him during this time. I will be spending the time by myself. Am I being selfish feeling this way?

2007-11-08 16:06:22 · 13 answers · asked by runningnorth1 1 in Marriage & Divorce

As a guest, do you like to watch the couple open gifts? Or is it a big yawn?

2007-11-08 16:05:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings

I'm confused and am trying to help this couple, the bride being my best friend for many years. I was with them from the day they met, to the day they became intimate (of which my friend shared just a little), to their wedding day. Now that they are entering their 6 years of marriage, she will be filling for divorce on the basis that the hub stopped sex totally after their wedding. Her story was, he was not in mood (stress, work etc) but I find it strange that its straight after wedding. The thing is, the hub is a private person, so no way that I can go ask him what happen. Her version of the story, I find it hard to believe too as it the past, she had lied before. But after meeting him, she's a change person.

How should I proceed with this. I really want to help them, somehow.

2007-11-08 16:05:44 · 22 answers · asked by asianprincess 2 in Marriage & Divorce

She wants to make her own descisions,have MALE friends this are not mine to give her but have offered to work at it,I am a jelous person to start with
I offer to do things and its classed as controlling i dont do anything I dont care I married for life and will do whatever is needed I seem to be in a no win situation

2007-11-08 16:05:04 · 8 answers · asked by finally solo35 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I'm an American teenager or young adult. I keep thinking about marriage in the future... I'm not a very skilled guy but I'm willing to try for the people I love. I also think from right and wrong, I'm still a virgin and don't follow others to alcohol parties. I would also be willing to sit down and listen to others' sad situations and talk with them.

I'm scared that my future wife will hurt me because I'm not strong enough. I fear she will not be willing to make sacrifices like me for our children. I'm afraid of her divorcing with me, I only want one woman in my life, its unhealthy to keep looking for others. I'm afraid she will cheat on me. What should I do?

Thanks for reading.

2007-11-08 16:03:03 · 7 answers · asked by Closed 5 in Marriage & Divorce

I have a bad marriage... we don't live together, but are not officially "separated." Besides not being together physically in the same household, things are not all that good... Should I start divorce proceedings immediately or wait to see if it changes?? I believe he wants it to work out...

2007-11-08 16:02:22 · 5 answers · asked by A W 5 in Marriage & Divorce

I'm a junior in hs, and have struggled with skipping school for 3 years now. I switched to a new school because my grades were so bad. Now I havent been to school in 2 weeks. (I've skipped much longer before.) All I've been doing is staying home, I've started smoking pot (like 5 times in the past week or more), drinking, hanging out, and my boyfriend is way older than me.
Do I sound like I'm headed toward loserville?

2007-11-08 16:00:41 · 10 answers · asked by hellllllo 1 in Marriage & Divorce

true love is something bad or good

2007-11-08 15:56:00 · 21 answers · asked by nancy 1 in Friends

my ex-husband hasn't called my daughter for a year now.and we don't know where he is. we both got remarried,but eversince he's not giving anything for my child.my husband is great with her.he is our sole provider.he has no complains.but sometimes i can see my daughter is sad because she miises her dad.

2007-11-08 15:55:17 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

she use to flirt with me quite a bit. I never told her i liked her now she acts if im invisible except for a few glances here and there and she flirts innocently with other guys. She did tell me i was cute a couple of weeks ago. were both 17. So do you think she likes me and is trying to make me jealous or what. I have never really showed her i like her b/c im nervous

2007-11-08 15:54:51 · 10 answers · asked by khjkhjf 1 in Marriage & Divorce

children are in college - we married young...fell like everthing becomes about the kids and now what - just kind of lost...where do you begin? I guess this is what they call empty nest syndrome?

2007-11-08 15:54:16 · 4 answers · asked by jewels 2 in Marriage & Divorce

my dad died in march. i was in the car with him when he had a sudden heart attack and just stopped moving, it was the scariest moment of my life, and i have PTSD after that happened. Im fourteen, and I was his best friend and he was mine. Now that he is gone i feel like i have no family member that could ever amount to him. and its so hard to feel comfortable at home. i don't know what to do, i miss him soo much. My mom makes no effort to make me feel the least bit happy even though she knows i lost the most important person in my life. She treats me like ****.

2007-11-08 15:54:08 · 37 answers · asked by <3 2 in Family

i am going through a break up after a short marriage and relationship of 4 years and having a hell of a time. i get lost in thoughts while am into middle of something. Would be working for 11-12 hours and the moment i get free my mind starts wandering into thoughts filled with anger and sadness. i am a business owner and so have no supervisor over me. in the past months my work has suffered, sometimes i have crossed deadlines and feel pathetic about the whole thing.

Can you please share some tips to manage an orderly life? i have also taken up hobby to divert my thoughts. i don't drink and (if someone may suggest to sleep around i am not doing that) Thanks.

2007-11-08 15:49:47 · 8 answers · asked by protege 3 in Marriage & Divorce

i want to send a mail to my friend but i don't want it to be return back if there was ever any error so i m planning to just write her address on the mail only so there won't be a From: but there will only be a to: Friend/address etc..
will it be delivered? or no?

2007-11-08 15:48:34 · 2 answers · asked by Ryan 2 in Friends