When to have kids?

Question

I am 34 and my wife is 27. No kids yet. I am scared to consider having kids, but I love kids. I want to make sure I can be a good husband and a good father without failing at work do to time constraints. Question(s): What is it that usually pushes most people off the diving board...and into the "water" of having children? Is there a special moment...or feeling? Does it JUST MAKE SENSE on paper? I don't want to have kids JUST BECAUSE I am getting older.
I feel selfish because we haven't had children yet. Married for 3 years (first & only marriage to a wonderful woman). Honestly, what will sex be like AFTER having kids? Does it still exist? PLEASE be brutally honest...and don't hold back! I hope that doesn't sound shallow, but I do care about sexual satisfaction...for both parties. Yes...both parties.

Answer 1

there is no certain date to have children, you have children when you feel youre ready, if youre going to be at work all day and not see the kids then to me it wouldnt be a good idea to have any anyway, but youre missing a big part of their lives. dont rush into anything, when the time is right you will know it, only as your wife ages, the pregnancy WILL be difficult

Answer 2

If the only thing that you are really worried about is how your sex life will change, then you should probably never have children. I will tell you that your wife is getting to the age that in another 6 or so years, any pregnancy will be considered a risk pregnancy.

If you are financially secure, and truly want children, you should be considering having them within the next 2 or 3 years. Yes, your sex life will change because there will be a child that gets part of the attention that you give your wife, and part of the attention that your wife gives you. The joy that the child will bring so much other happiness that it will over shadow that, if you honestly like children.

If you are one of those people that think that children are usually a nuisance, just resolve yourself to the fact that you should not have them. The responsibility is a huge one, and should not be taken lightly. Do not bring an unwanted child into the world. Children that feel unwanted end up becoming more problems than children that you plan and want to have.

I hope that I have helped. I say all of this from experience.

Answer 3

Hate to tell you this but it is different for everyone. BUT - the fact that you are asking if you are ready is great, sounds like you are trying to look at the big picture. BUT - you will never be 100% ready, no one is. The first time you hear the heart beat, the first shadow on the ultrasound, the first time you feel the baby kick, the first cry of life, seeing that little hand wrapped around your pinky, the way babies splash and squeal at bath time, the way your very voice brings comfort to them in this big unknown world..... oh yeah the slime on them at birth, spit up all the time, diapers, colic, tantrums, and that's just to name a few BUT - their first step, word, day of school, date, love, graduation, college, wedding day and of course the day they ask you if you think they are ready to have children. You'll know as best you can. And the sex will never be the same - but then again would you want it to be? It will just keep getting better the more you know your wife, the mother of your children -the woman that can take your breath away with a smile will always take your breath away if you let her.

Answer 4

To be honest, after I had kids, my sex drive did not change, and I am 27 and have 3 kids, the youngest 6 months old. I stay home with my kids, so I tend to be a little tired after a full day but I still want to have sex. It's just that some nights I am too tired for sex. But my hubby seems to want it more and more after each kid. We have sex about 2-3 times a week and my hubby is the same, he wants satisfaction for both parties.

Answer 5

The only valid reason for not waiting too much longer is that if you get too much older, by the time the kids are teenagers you're going to be too tired on a day-to-day basis to be decent parents, which means they're going to walk all over you, and turn into those kinds of people we all hate. Please don't do that to society. Either have kids within the next few years, or don't have any, at all.

Answer 6

you going to have sex no matter what if u both want 2 do it just less for a while.....and yeah its time to get to work i dont want to say your old but do u want to be 60 when ur kid is 18???