What is the most traumatic thing you have ever experienced?

Question

We have all seen or have experienced traumatic events. Some times they change our lives forever. I've been told many times that what won't kill you will only make you stronger. I have been through one of the most devestating events in my life when I discovered that my husband of 8 years was using drugs. I have been through and worn out every emotion a human being can experience. From pain to rage to sadness, depression and despair. I finally gave him an ultimatum yesterday to either go to rehab or I will file for divorce. I feel I have done everything in my power to help him. You can'
t force someone to want something better for themselves if they don't want it. I have been dealing with this almost a year with no improvement. We are now in the middle of a bankruptcy, we lost everything we worked so hard for I can't do this any more. I love my husband with all my heart, this will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He refuses to get help so I don't have a choice. I'm devestated

Answer 1

Going through ops to get taller just realising my parents werent there only my man was with me through everything

Answer 2

I hope that somehow everything gets better for you. I understand you, go ahead and do what is best for you. I also have gone through traumatic episodes in my life. The worse one was a miscarriage after my oldest son. I was three months pregnant, I started to pass big clogs of blood, I was scared and in devastating pain. I remember there was blood every where in my bathroom and bedroom. My husband was also terrified, three times he took me to the hospital, and three times they sent me back home. The fourth time was when at the same hospital I learned that I had lost the baby. Never found out if it was a boy or girl, they just send me home like if nothing ever did happened. I had no insurance at the time, I also remember a nurse telling asking me why I get pregnant if I knew I had no insurance. During all this I was just loosing my mind with pain. I never, ever forget this for as long as I live.. Looking back at all this, I feel I could have sue the hospital for sending me back knowing I was going through a miscarriage. I moved on and now have three wonderful kids. Well I call them kids, but their ages are 23, 22, 19. Two boys and a girl. I was 22 when that awful experience happened to me.. God did rewarded me with the most wonderful kids ever, and I am happily married for 24 years now... Yes, what does not kill you do make one stronger. You will be fine, I will remember to keep you in my prayers....

Answer 3

Loaded question. Although I refuse to think it was traumatic at the time, because I went on functional mode only: it was the call in the middle of the night from the Highway Patrol saying that my son had been hit by a drunk driver and that I should get to the hospital as soon as possible.

I've been severely injured, near death, and lived through the death of parents and friends; and dealt with plenty. But a kid near death takes the cake.

You have choices, and are allowed to have some measure of control in this situation. Add to your resources by contacting social services organizations that can help you --- WEAVE, Narc-anon, etc. And my best to you.

Answer 4

Caring for my Mom as she struggled to live with cancer..watching her die one day at a time and not being able to do anything to make her well or remove her pain and suffering..the person that brought me here....that was always there for me every step of the way. I too went through those same feelings you went through only we had 2 different situations......You must seek support for yourself at this point..professional help..there is such a thing you know...the loved one that has to watch needs support to get through the storm and develop the needed tools to survive. If you must leave then do so....it does not have to be forever...maybe if you pack up and leave he will see the seriousness and try to seek help..although do know that depending on the drug he is on it is very, very hard to quit without assistance...DO you have any male family member, cousin, uncle, Dad, old school friend, someone that can come and take him to rehab after you leave? He may be more agreeable when he See's how serious you are...that way he is not abandoned with his own worst enemy..himself

Answer 5

Wow, I'm sorry! That is very rough! I've been through quite a bit myself. My mom mentally, emotionally and physically abused me as a child-even a little as I was older. She told me when I was in 1st grade that my subsitute teacher had called her saying I was talking bad about her in class. (I was a perfect student in fear my mom would smack me if I got into trouble) I never talked bad about teachers-I actually loved most of my teachers. Anyways, I went to school that next day crying in class. The sub teacher took me out of the room, and a few other teachers came up to me. I told her what my mom had said, and she was like, "I never called your Mom." I went home, and my mom told me she lied just to make sure I wasn't talking bad or being bad in class. She told me to go to them and tell them she got a prank phone call. Thinking about this now that i"m older, it angers me quite a bit my own mother would do something like this to me.

I've also been raped which was prob the most traumatizing for me. The things my mom has done to me and this- it can be rough at times. But along with the rape-going through the rape kit at the hospital, that was pretty hard too. It's been about 6 yrs since the rape and I still have a tough time with it here and there.... but the best thing that has ever happened to me along with having some loving family members, my fiance and our son-they brings me so much joy and love.

I'm sorry what you are going through-drug addicts get so wrapped up into drugs, they put you below the drugs, and that's not fair to you. I think you did a good job by making him choose. He should be choosing you over the drugs-but the addiction he has will be a tough one to break. You can only put up with it so long, you deserve more in life. I wish you the best, and I hope everything will get better for you.

Answer 6

a motorcycle accident .Broke my leg at the age of 16 a car accident ,when I was 20,Gallbladder removed 1978 dropped transmission on my finger the same year,I lost friends to drugs and l had a heart attack.this was very traumatic.The room lit up the walls disappeared and I saw people made of smoke wearing different hospital gowns styles,looking down while walking the halls. I was afraid they would look at me then the nurses gave me nitro and oxygen and the brightness went down and the people vanished and the room came back. I told my roommate what happened.when I could talk again and he looked more scared than I was.life much better now. I appreciate the little things.

Answer 7

Wow, I'm so sorry, I couldn't imagine. You sound strong to me already and it is true, what won't kill you will make you stronger. When I was 23 my first husband died as a result of a freak accident, it was horrible. Seeing him on life support, the blood and even the horrible sound of him breathing. Then to be asked if his organs can be donated to making the decision as to when to take him off life support, because there was no way he could survive. Then to plan a funeral. That is a lot to go through at such a young age, we were married almost 5 years, I got married young. Through this, I have been able to help people and have the kind of heart that goes out to people such as yourself and others. I wish you the best of luck and hope all works out for you. Hugs.

Answer 8

It sounds as if you are making the right decision. You must look after yourself since your husband has an addiction and refuses to get help. Even if your husband does go to rehab it is still best that you file separation papers. By doing this it will give both of you time you need to heal. And remember your husband will be an addict for the rest of his life and it is a hard disease to keep in remission.

I wish you the best.

Answer 9

Take it from someone that has been where you are now. No, you can't force someone to get help, because they are not getting it for themselves. They will have to really decide that they need help before rehab works. I took him back 2005 and as of May of this year nothing had changed. We are now in the process of getting a divorce. I could not handle his drugs anymore for it was affecting our child. Since he doesn't want to get help, then you will have no choice but to loose that man and let him go. You have done all that you could for him. You now have to think of what is best for you. Believe me you cannot continue as you are before hatred towards him starts to set in, if it already hasn't.
Good luck.

Answer 10

I had an Automobile accident I was in a coma for 6 months with a small percentage of survival, I was diagnosed with C4 Incomplete, & Traumatic brain Injury. The Doctors said that the possibility of me surviving was very small, But if I made it I wouldn't be normal (when I heard that I said to them 'And just what ecxactly IS normal') anyways now I'm walking, talking, making more & better sence of things that happen to me, I guess having a near death experience does open your mind to things you never suspected of. The only thing is that I can't talk to the dead.

Answer 11

Well, I was with a girl over the summer. I tried to make it a meaningful relationship, but she is just too caught-up in partying. She would ask for money every time I got a paycheck, exactly the amount that I got paid (must've dug through my stuff and found an old pay stub). She would promise to pay it back, and I would give it to her, and she wouldn't pay it back. I got her a cellphone in my name, 750 shared minutes, because she doesn't have enough credit to get one herself, and she went $1057 over. I put $1000 on a new car for her and insured it in my name. She never paid one bill in 4 months. The car broke down and I let her borrow mine. She got in a wreck, got a $1200 ticket, and I owed the guy she crashed into $5800 (insured, luckily). Meanwhile she got the car back from the shop after I paid for the whole repairs (her car that I bought for her), $700, and she gets another $1200 ticket for an expired license. She got a new job and was fired on the second day, for not showing up because she went to a party and got drunker than heck. She got another a couple months later and ditched it to attend a dance in another state. All the money she asked me for she spent on nights out with other guys, and left me at my apartment all alone, while lying to me and telling me that I'm the one for her.

After four months I took the car back that I had bought her. I knew she wasn't going to ever pay. I was paying the finance bill and the insurance. When I got it back there was writing on the dash, poptarts in the seat pockets, cigarettes crammed into every crevice, and I found condoms, tampons, and a couple of Xanax tablets. She doesn't have a place to live, nor a job, so I didn't know which friend's house she was at, so I had to promise to give her $500 for getting the car back, and she finally dropped it off at my workplace, trashed up. Oh, and when I bought her the phone, I got a new one, too, in a two-for-one deal. She broke her's (a pink Chocolate), and demanded to have mine. So, I gave it to her with the $500.

......I have not heard from her since. Her MySpace page kinda depicts that she is up to the usual. Going out with different guys all the time, partying every day and every night, and not even worrying about getting a job.

I knew she was like this when I met her, but tried to make something of it. I'm 25 and have never been involved with a girl otherwise, and this was my only hope.

At least with you, you will probably find someone new, since you likely don't have the issues I have with meeting people. With the fact that I met this girl, it was like an accident. I don't know how it happened, which is why I spent all to try and get her to like me and make me her "one and only." It didn't work. I HAD to cut ties with her. It was the end of the month and I owed $550 rent, $200 insurance, $50 to cable and $25 to utilities, and she had cleared out my account and left about $75 bucks.

Good luck to you.