Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

I work at a garage and need to get back at a fellow prankster.

2006-12-14 05:44:21 · 12 answers · asked by nhanceddans 1

At a fork in the road between two cities, you see 2 people. One always tells the truth, and comes from the city of safety. The other person always lies and comes from the city of cannibals, where they will eat you. They both look exactly the same. You must choose one of the persons, and ask him one and only one question (no compound questions either, such as "is this shirt red and which way to safety?"). What question could you ask to find out which path leads to the city of safety?

2006-12-14 05:41:09 · 3 answers · asked by Coo Bird 4

How many ways are there to describe the anus my favourite is rusty bullet hole what is yours? Oh come on its just a giggle

2006-12-14 05:27:21 · 9 answers · asked by Terence K 2

A.) The sweetest thing is:Youre GUARANTEED to live for another 33 years!(Because thats why they call it a MID-LIFE crisis!)


Har Har!! HAR!!!!

2006-12-14 05:07:06 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

i want there links plz !!!!! i found one here is the link http://coolpage.co.nr

2006-12-14 05:05:43 · 11 answers · asked by Abhay 3

Three men stay at a hotel for the night. The innkeeper charges thirty Pounds per room per night. The men rent one room; each pays ten Pounds. The Porter leads the men to their room. Later, the innkeeper discovers he has overcharged the men and asks the Porter to return five pounds to them. On the way upstairs, the porter realizes that five pounds can't be evenly split among three men, so he decides to keep two pounds for himself and return one pound to each man.

At this point, the men have paid nine pounds each, totalling 27. The Porter has two, which adds up to 29. Where did the thirtieth pound go?

2006-12-14 04:52:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Through a fellow user known as Bill I discovered this site.

http://www.justinthyme.info/page7.html
and the book Justin Thyme.
Can't wait to get the book after doing the site.

The site poses the question "Who is the real Pananma Oxridge". Cryptic clues and anagrams and even some bianary sleuthing was reqiured to find the identity of the author. I was up till 2 in the morning solving the case. Loooovvvveeed it!

Does anyone know of more sites with great riddles to solve or good mysteries of some sort. I'd love to find another site similar to this or one just to challenge my brain and wake it up now and then.

2006-12-14 04:50:16 · 2 answers · asked by G's Random Thoughts 5

This was a riddle going around anyone know the answer?

2006-12-14 04:39:52 · 13 answers · asked by chris r 1

A.) Pluto Nash

2006-12-14 04:27:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

This is something i came up with earlier today:

Tourists act like mindless sheep in town; they run around without any reason or control of themselves. Luckily my car’s bumper is the wolf.

2006-12-14 04:22:25 · 25 answers · asked by Metal Head 2

50 pigs + 50 deer = ?

2006-12-14 04:18:23 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

The husband comes home from work, and the wife asks,"Can u take a look at the dishwasher?" "What in the hell does it look like, I have Maytag written on my forehead!"..it does'nt get fixed. The next day, the husband returns from work, and the wife says, "Can u take a look at the fridge, it seems to be running all the time." What the hell does it look like, I have Maytag written on my forehead."..it does'nt get fixed. A couple of days pass, and the husband comes home to find that the broken appliances are fixed. Hey, how did u get the stuff working?" "Well", she says.." We have a new neighbor that moved in, and we got to talking, and he said that he would fix the stuff if I baked him a cherry pie, or have sex with him." "How did he enjoy the pie?" "What in the hell does it look like, I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead!!" hahaha :)

2006-12-14 04:05:34 · 22 answers · asked by MAGGIEMAGGOO 2

2006-12-14 04:05:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have bought the wife a pair of slippers and a vibrator for christmas
if she doesnt like the slippers she can go and screw herself.

2006-12-14 03:53:24 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

#1. this salesman walks up to this house and knocks on the door. a small boy answered with a lit cigar in his mouth. trying not to be suprised the salesman asks "excuse me young man but is your mother home?" the young boy takes the cigar out of his mouth, flicks the ashes and says "what do you think?''

#2 (this one is just something to say) Have you ever just start running and you get to your full speed and all of a sudden you just fall down?

Its called a GLASS door you blonde

2006-12-14 03:48:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

skies,flowers and skulls collided with easels,paints and canvases when a visiting painter was inspired by the splendor of this town's landscape

2006-12-14 03:46:34 · 3 answers · asked by red 2

there is a man heading for the Centre of a field

he has to go there, he can't change that

when he gets there he knows he's going to die....

whats happening......?

2006-12-14 03:44:49 · 29 answers · asked by Bmp1ksh 3

A brunnette and a blonde decide to rob a bank. They devise an intelligent plan on how to rob the bank, although it is mostly the brunnette who works on it while the blonde is taking her time filing her nails. Then they pick a day on which to rob a bank. They drive up to the bank and the brunnette asks the blonde if she remembers the plan. "yeh yeh," replies the blonde and goes into the bank, after the brunnette told her to be in and out in five minutes.an hour later the alarms blare and the blonde ruches outside dragging a rope with a safe attached to it behind her. behind the safe the guard is running after her, his trousers down, desperatly reaching for the gun in his belt. the blonde opens the car door and chucks the safe in and gets in herself.
"What the hell happened?" screamed the brunnet
"What'cha mean? i followed the plan exactly. after a pause the brunnett slaps her head and says "YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"

(no offence ment to any blond)

2006-12-14 03:43:52 · 17 answers · asked by Metal Head 2

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
some poems don't rhyme,
and this is one of them.

2006-12-14 03:37:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A.) FemiNAZI's!!!!!!!!!


"Heil!"


Har HAR!!! HARRRR!!!!

2006-12-14 03:31:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

PADLOCKS!!!!

2006-12-14 03:30:52 · 18 answers · asked by snuffylover4 2

Har Har!! HAR!!!!

2006-12-14 03:24:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-14 03:15:00 · 11 answers · asked by QB 3

Sexist, by the way, not sex-i-est.

Example:
Q: How many orgasms can a woman have in one night?
A: Who cares?

Q: Why don't women need watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove!

I don't care whether it's about men or women, let's hear it!

2006-12-14 03:11:36 · 6 answers · asked by Neerdowellian 6

And no its not feathers or water or air... been bugging me and my girlfriend for about 2 weeks now!!! Help!!!

2006-12-14 03:09:26 · 11 answers · asked by djmonsta200883 2

2006-12-14 02:48:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mine has to be.. "One day Chuck Norris was walking down a crowded street with a massive erection.... there were no survivors."

2006-12-14 02:45:56 · 10 answers · asked by gurupremir 2

2006-12-14 02:41:30 · 29 answers · asked by cheez 3

A rather confident 007 walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
007: "Hi,my name is Bond,....James Bond..."
very attractive woman:"Get the HELL AWAAAAY from me you FILTHY ANIMAL!!!!!"

(Everybody i told it to in person,...Laughed like hell!)

2006-12-14 02:37:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

This punk gets on the bus. He has bright blue hair sticking up all over the place, a green jacket that’s cut into shreds, skin-tight red trousers and a pair of yellow shoes. The passengers look at him for a moment but don’t take too much notice......exept for one old chap that can’t take his eyes of him.

Eventually the punk gets fed up of the old man’s stares and goes up to him and says “What’s your problem old man” ? “No offence intended” said the old man “It’s just that a few years ago, when I was in the navy, I became stranded on this desert island and one day, when I was a bit desperate, I had sex with a parrot and well........I was just wondering if you were my son.

2006-12-14 02:07:16 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous