Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

A doctor is talking to his psychiatrist and explaining how he feels very guilty about having sex with one of his patients. The psychiatrist says "Listen, you're young and single and I'm sure this kind of thing happens all the time with doctors. The only issue I have with this is that you're a veterinarian".

2006-12-14 12:08:51 · 2 answers · asked by Commander 3

What would you wish for? The smartest answer get 10pts

2006-12-14 11:59:21 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Answer this riddle = "Though equally it exists before everyone's eyes, grasp it not one person can." What is it?

*Just come up with some answers that fit the riddle.....
---btw, i dont know the answer to it, just trying to come up with an answer for it.....

2006-12-14 11:51:57 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were three girls who wanted to find out how they got their names...
the first girl goes to her dad and asks, "Dad, how did i get my name?" The father replies, "Oh, Rose, when we walked out of the hospital w/ you, a rose landed on your head!"


the second girl goes to her dad and asks, "Dad, how did i get my name?" The father replies, "Oh, Daisy, when we walked out of the hospital w/ you, a daisy landed on your head!"

The third girl goes to her dad and asks, "DUR HUR BLA DUH!!"
The dad says, "Oh, cinderblock!"

2006-12-14 11:51:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

all the people in favour of abortion have already been born. !!!!!!

2006-12-14 11:40:57 · 22 answers · asked by Shredder 6

2006-12-14 11:34:49 · 32 answers · asked by Frank B 1

Not being retarded.

2006-12-14 11:31:38 · 11 answers · asked by Ryan R 2

A priest and Rabbi were walking together down the street. The Priest spots a little boy and asks the Rabbi "hey wanna screw him" the Rabbi then replied "out of what"

2006-12-14 11:20:01 · 16 answers · asked by Ryan R 2

i could use a laugh right now, do you know any good jokes?

2006-12-14 11:15:20 · 10 answers · asked by Sami 4

I told him that every morning at around 6.00am I have a regular bowel movement. He seemed happy with my answer until I explained that I was retired and didn't get up till 9.00am. I wanted help from the Services to come around and clean my bed sheets.

2006-12-14 11:09:10 · 21 answers · asked by your pete 4

inquiring minds wanna know!

2006-12-14 10:56:26 · 6 answers · asked by snafu1 2

Dee Septor, the world famous magician, yelled out "Hurry, hurry, hurry, step right up for the greatest show on earth! Before your very eyes I will change some wood into various shapes. Yes indeed folks, you will not be disappointed. I have spent over 15 years perfecting this trick. I will begin by showing you some wood that I shape into a perfect cube, then, before your very eyes I will change this same wood into the shape of a pyramid, and then into the shape of a cylinder. For the grand finale I will tranform this SAME wood back into the original sized cube!"

How could Dee Septor manage this incredible feat?

2006-12-14 10:55:05 · 1 answers · asked by Nemesis: Your worst nightmare 5

2006-12-14 10:52:06 · 1 answers · asked by ypina 2

i have noticed something going on there haha

2006-12-14 10:38:05 · 9 answers · asked by jennusula 1

Ipswitch are recruting dozens of prostitutes. Flexible hours and a salary to die for.

2006-12-14 10:36:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

......a man was in church, standing up while singing a hymn, when he noticed that the woman in front of him had a wedgie. So, he pulled the wedgie out.
"Well, I never!" said he woman. Very offended, she slapped the man across the face.

The next Sunday, the man brought a friend with him to church. The woman in front of them again had a wedgie.

The friend also happened to notice this, and he too pulled the wedgie out.

Before the woman had a chance to scold, the man said to his friend, "Don't! She doesn't like that!"

So the friend apologized to the woman, and politely pushed the wedgie back in.

2006-12-14 10:33:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

2006-12-14 10:32:37 · 19 answers · asked by a m 4

In any context, just explain...

2006-12-14 10:29:50 · 10 answers · asked by lamasamaka 1

2006-12-14 10:28:35 · 18 answers · asked by sadiesamkurby 2

jokes about anything remotely funny, political,racist,religous or anything in the least bit incorrect have to be withdrawn, as it seems that the minority of the world (whites) with only 20% of the worlds population arent funny anymore according to all other races and colours.

its a joke section and however disrespectful something might be, remember its a joke

2006-12-14 10:18:55 · 21 answers · asked by jennusula 1

A man goes for his usual dental check-up...

The dentist who was scraping his teeth suddenly jumped back a few steps with a look of utter disgust on his face.
Ewwwwwwwwwww said the Dentist.

What’s up? Said the patient.

I'm not being funny or anything, but have you been having Oral Sex recently?

The patient started chuckling and said... Why have I got a Pubic hair stuck in my teeth???

No he said, you’ve got Sh!t up your nose.

2006-12-14 10:17:20 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

On a clear afternoon Superman and Batman were on a hill overlooking a wide field where there stood a big tree in the distance.
Superman squinting over under the tree says to Batman, " Look Batman, I think I see Wonder Woman naked under that tree over there with her legs spread!"
Batman replies, "No way Superman. What's she doing?"
Superman replies, "wow, She's looking all horny and hot and wet moaning with pleasure! I think she wants to get laid bad!"
Then Batman suggests, "No way! Then why don't you fly down over there and give her your signature super screw!"
"Super idea Batman! Watch this and see how fast I will swoop down and give it to her super hard!"
Then Superman swoops down faster than a speeding bullet and flies back to where Batman is."That had to be the tighest pu ssy I ever super screwed!"
Back to Wonder Woman under the tree."What the Hell was that!?!?"asks Wondr Wmn with a startle. "I don't know, but dam! I felt something go way up my ***!" says THE INVISIBLE MAN

2006-12-14 10:17:02 · 16 answers · asked by chaseki 3

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

2006-12-14 10:15:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

2006-12-14 10:09:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-14 10:06:11 · 27 answers · asked by Ryan R 2

what is it?

2006-12-14 10:01:22 · 23 answers · asked by TURNCOAT KILLER LIAR THEIF! 1

Three red hats and three blue hats are placed in three boxes, with to hats to a box. The boxes are all labeled incorectly. To determine what each box actually contains, you may select one hat from one box; without looking at the contents of the box. Explain how this will allow you to determine the contents of each box?

2006-12-14 09:59:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-14 09:52:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and/or pants.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are NOT.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your a ss kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

2006-12-14 09:51:26 · 15 answers · asked by listen68 3

What allways ends everything?

2006-12-14 09:40:39 · 15 answers · asked by Poker Face 6