Sexist, by the way, not sex-i-est.
Example:
Q: How many orgasms can a woman have in one night?
A: Who cares?
Q: Why don't women need watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove!
I don't care whether it's about men or women, let's hear it!
2006-12-14 03:11:36 · 6 answers · asked by Neerdowellian 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Why is a beer better than a man?
It comes in a can not in your mouth!
What do a woman and an airplane have in common?
Thay both have a cockpit!
2006-12-14 04:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Jasunni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."
2006-12-14 11:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
25 Ways to impress your girl..
1.When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love That.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If
she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning.
This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognise the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pu**y's and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words f**k you and grab the other girls a*se. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning
tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your
jacket...then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't
girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give
her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your
smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her
no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This
will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really
excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny
2006-12-14 11:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by Broz79 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
when is it ok for a woman to be over the man?
when the kitchen sits over the living room
2006-12-14 11:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? nothing you already told her twice
2006-12-14 11:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by cutthroat_mako 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i dunno....im not sexy boohoo
2006-12-14 11:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by cutiepy983 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋