Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

you have a cage of chicken and pig(swine)
the cage contains 50 pcs of feet and 25 pcs of head!
the question is:
how many chicken and how many pig are there in that cage?

2006-10-25 17:20:43 · 7 answers · asked by lynyan 1

I.R.A course for begginers,when on his way home he popped into his local for a pint of the black stuff(guinness)the barman seamus welcomed paddy and asked what he had learnt, Paddy said: stand well back and oi will shaw ya seamus. and then Paddy smashed the bar to pieces with is bare hands,Seamus the barsteward said how will that help fight off the Brits. For the love of JESUS,JOSEPH,MARY,BEGHORRA that was a COUNTER ATTACK,replied paddy, could ya not tell

2006-10-25 17:10:12 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Only riddles please

2006-10-25 17:03:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills
falling out of that bag..."

"Dang" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? "Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flowerbeds!" "So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?

2006-10-25 17:00:56 · 13 answers · asked by })i({ J and D's Momma })i({ 5

what will happen to the level of water when the ice melts ???
Will it decrease....increase...or remain constant???

2006-10-25 16:59:11 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

was working away on the building site when OH BEHGORRA a sheet of glass fell from the roof above shaving o,l paddys ear clean off. All the workers came over to see what all the comotion and dust was for, when they found out what had happened they all agreed to look for paddys ear. After about 5 mins one of the workers shouted Gee I TINK OI FOUND YA EAR HERE PADDY?paddy replied :oh to be sure thats not moy ear ,how can ya tell its not youre ear! the worker replied,BEGORRAH JESUS JOSEPH AND MARY MOY EAR HAD A PENCIL BEHOIND IT TO BE SURE paddy replied!

2006-10-25 16:51:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A string walked into a bar and asked for a beer, The bartender told him to get lost and said " we don't serve strings" So the string went to another and another bar and kept hearing the same thing:
"we don't serve strings"
Finally his poor nerves were so frazzled, and he got himself into a twist, when he walked into another bar, the bartender scowled at him and asked "Are you a string?"
to which the string replied:
"No, I'm a frayed knot."

If athletes get "athlete's foot", what to astronauts get?
"mistletoe"

2006-10-25 16:29:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why did God make Eve?
Because Adam needed somebody to tell him what to do.

2006-10-25 16:26:55 · 6 answers · asked by arkedthecovenant 1

because he has no legs and i take him out for a DRAG 5 times a day is this normal

2006-10-25 16:18:06 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

Soda has more acidity in it than batteries?

The answer will suprise you.

2006-10-25 15:48:54 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Doug Graves was taking a vacation when he read about a bottomless well in a small town. He decided to visit the town, and when he arrived in the town, he stopped at the post office to ask for directions. When he got to the house where the well was, he met a local teacher who claimed she could throw a five-pound weight into the well, no strings or rope attached, and be able to fetch it in ten seconds. How?

2006-10-25 15:36:53 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-25 15:35:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Everyday Mandy Torpedoes rises up out of bed, gets in the elevator in her building and presses the button to take her to the lobby. At the end of the day she returns from work, gets in the elevator and presses the button for the ninth floor. She gets out and walks up 5 floors to her room, even though the elevator would take her to her floor. Why? (its not for the exercise)

2006-10-25 15:22:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

even the ones a simple mis-click of the mouse! Can we really expect anything humans made to be perfect? we, ourselves aren't perfect. doesn't that kind make the term 'perfectionist' an oxy moron?

2006-10-25 15:21:34 · 4 answers · asked by Dynamite 1

So, there once was a millionaire from the middle-east, who was very, very stubborn. He was walking through town with his son, little Bob. They passed a store, and little Bob says:"Daddy, daddy! can I buy one of those hats?" -"No" said his dad, "we dont have any money to spend son". So, with a bit of dissapointment, he understood, and they kept on walking. Then, they passed a toy store, and the same thing happened. But little Bob knew that his father loved flying. So when he saw a sign that read:"Airplane Rides", he asked his father. The man hessitated at first, but then he agreed on one condition: If it wasnt too expensive. So they got on the plane, and when they were already airborne, he asked the pilot:"How much is the ride?" -"One thousand dollars" said the pilot. "WHAT?!?!?"-said the man. Alarmed by the man's reaction, the pilot made a deal with the man:"If you or your son stay quiet, not making a sound, the whole ride is free.

2006-10-25 15:16:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

i need it fo mah hw haha

2006-10-25 15:10:30 · 8 answers · asked by 123 1

After a long night of having fun, he notices a photo of another man
on
her nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be
reassured.

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

"Well, who is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."

2006-10-25 15:09:15 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

Art Deco was a successful salesperson for a line of mens clothing. One day he set out on a short trip which would take him to three different destinations and then home. He reached the three destinations in order and was about to go home when he met a man with a mask. When he saw the man, Art turned around and went back to his last destination. Why?

2006-10-25 15:03:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-25 15:03:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

three guys survive a shipwreck and swim to an island. there they are captured by some natives and taken to the leader. the leader is kind of pissed that the guys came on the island, but also understands. so he says, i'll give u a chance to live, i want you to go into the woods and come back with any fruit you choose, just make sure u bring back 10 of them.

so they all rush off into the woods and the first guy gets back. he shows that he has ten tomatoes. then, the leader is like "shove these up your (censored), and if you can shove all 10 up there without distorting your face, i'll let you live, if not, you're dead." the guys like wtf, but a guard pokes him w/ a spear and he knows the natives aren't playing around. so, his life is at stake here and he starts doing what he has to do. he REALLY holds it in, but when he's on #4 he just can't help it, and screams in pain. they take him away to kill him

2006-10-25 15:02:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby.

One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"

Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always ask the same old ridiculous questions."

2006-10-25 14:53:11 · 28 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-10-25 14:51:00 · 16 answers · asked by Mike S 7

2006-10-25 14:50:35 · 16 answers · asked by jesse12508 1

Candace Raven was an avid bookworm. Once she started on one of her romance novels nothing would prevent her from reading it straight thru. One night at about 12 midnight candace was reading one of her novels she was just getting to the climax of an exciting chase scene a storm knocked out all of the power to her house. Candace had no matches no candles or any other means of light that did not matter tho since she just kept right on reading until she finished her book How could she do it?

2006-10-25 14:48:45 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

First of all, why am I asking all these riddles. To Prove to my friends that people are able to solve them even though they can't. And so far all of you have proved them wrong.
Now this one is very easy as long as you don't try and complicate it.
there were five men, and three women at a bar drinking. Why?

2006-10-25 14:44:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-25 14:41:10 · 7 answers · asked by jesse12508 1

2006-10-25 14:24:31 · 8 answers · asked by Cutie P 2

It was Stacy's first day of work at a large company. After work she came home incrediblely exhausted because of a misunderstanding. What happened?

2006-10-25 14:03:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-25 14:00:48 · 12 answers · asked by katelynjohofstetter 1

for someone named amanda and i want something origonal

2006-10-25 13:57:35 · 13 answers · asked by boo19933 1