2006-10-25 14:24:31 · 8 answers · asked by Cutie P 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.
Number 1:
(Sung to the tune of 'Ibelive I Can Fly')
♫ I belive I can die, ♫
♫ I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, ♫
♫ All I wanted was a popsicle, ♫
♫ Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . ♫
Number 2:
Q: What does a television and Mchael Jackson have in common?
A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.
That's all I got.
2006-10-25 14:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by xinnybuxlrie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A Mushroom walked into a Bar and sat down and he saw a Beautiful Girl at the other end of the Bar. So he told the bartender to send her a drink. The bar tender said But you're a mushroom...
The mushroom paid cash so the bartender sent the beautiful woman a drink from the Mushroom.
She smiled a thank you so the mushroom slid his chair down next to her and said,"I Babe, wanna go out with me for some fun times?"
The Beautiful woman said,"Oh, You're a Mushroom..."
The mushroom said,"Yeah, But, I'm a FUNGI!"
I'm a Fun Guy!
Some how only my friends at the University Horticultural Section are the only ones that ever laugh at my all time favorite joke!
2006-10-25 14:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by bugsie 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
george bush has recently heard of the bird flu epedemic, so he has decided to bomb the canary islands; turkey's next.
there once were three bares. and they went to put clothes on.
what do you call a cow on an alter? holy cow
a husband , wife and their newborn baby go to the doctors for the baby's first checkup. the doctor says" wow what a cute baby"
the dad replies, " i bet you say that to all your patients..."
the doctor says, " no we dont, we just say it looks just like you."
three men get lost in a forest, a smart guy, average guy, and a dumb guy. all of a sudden they see a magic owl who will grant them each one wish.
the smart guy wishes to have all the riches in the world and a huge house.POOF he's gone.
the average guy wishes for a wife and a new car. POOF he's gone.
the dumb guy says, " i want my friends back."
at a club there was a ventriloquist performing dumb blond jokes. all of a sudden a woman ( who was blond) stands up and says," how dare you judge people just by the colour of their hair!"
the man studders and tries to apologize but the woman says " will you be quiet! i was talking to the man on your knee!"
2006-10-25 14:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Clinton dies and of course goes straight to hell. When he gets there the Devil greets him and offers him three ways to spend eternity. They go to the first door and the Devil shows him Newt Gingrich, hanging from the ceiling with fire under him. Bill says "Oh no! That’s not how I want to spend all eternity......." They go to the second door. The Devil shows him Rush Limbaugh chained to the wall being tortured. Bill says "Oh no! Not for me!"
They go to the third door. Behind it is Ken Starr, chained to the wall with Monica Lewinsky on her knees giving him a *******. Bill thinks and decides, "Hmmm, looks okay to me. I’ll take it." The Devil then says, "Good. Hey Monica, you’ve been replaced."
2006-10-25 14:33:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Four mothers go to theropy because they were all obsessed with something. They had to bring their child.
The doctor went to the first woman and said
"You named your daughter Candy, therefore you are obsessed with sweets." then he went to the next mother and said
"You are obsessed with Alcohol, since you named your son jack Daniel." then he went to the third mother and said
"You are obsessed with money, therefore you named your daughter Penny." But before he came to the forth mother the forth mother told her son
"Let's get out of here dick."
OOH
I know a "I Can Believe I Can Fly" thing
I can't believe I just died
I got shot by the FBI
All I wanted was a chicken wing
all the way from burger king
2006-10-25 14:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
my fav joke ive heard is
Yo mama is so fat wen the dr. asked her wate he sed i want ur wate not ur phone number
2006-10-25 14:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have many, but they are in spanish, and can't be translated.
2006-10-25 14:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by Peter pan 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What do you call a deer with no eyes???
.............I have noeyedear!
2006-10-25 14:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by Torri P 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋