2006-10-25 15:03:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on it’s way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you". The hippie says that he’d love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and pray’s to God. If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you. The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun. After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I’m the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I’m the bus driver!!"
2006-10-25 16:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by kimandchris2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.
Number 1:
(Sung to the tune of 'I Belive I Can Fly')
♫ I belive I can die, ♫
♫ I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, ♫
♫ All I wanted was a popsicle, ♫
♫ Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . ♫
Number 2:
Q: What does a television and Mchael Jackson have in common?
A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.
That's all I got.
2006-10-25 15:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by xinnybuxlrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman finds a magic lamp, she rubs it and a genie comes out she goes: ok I want my 3 wishes, the genie agrees on one condition : any thing you wish for I will grant your husband 10 times more, the woma agrees and starts with the wishes...
Wish #1: I wan't to be the most beautiful woman in the world, the genie says: you do realize that your husband will be 10 times more handsome than you are beautiful she says:
yes I know that very well...
And she becomes the most beautiful woman in the world
Wish #2 : I want to be the wealthiest woman n the worlds, the genie warns her that her husband will be 10 times richer than she is, she shakes her head and says: don't worry about it, I want him to be.
And she becomes the wealthiest woman in the world
Wish # 3: I want to have a very mild stroke...
2006-10-25 16:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Harp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An Native American boy is walking through the woods one day with his father and asks him, "Father, how did my brother get his name?"
The father replies, "Well, son, when your brother was born I was standing outside the tee pee and saw an eagle flying in the air, so I named him Soaring Eagle."
"What about my sister?", asks the son.
"The same is true for your sister. When she was born I was standing outside the tee pee and noticed a deer running through the woods, so I named her Running Fawn."
The father looks down at his son a little puzzled and says, "Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fu**ing?"
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A man walks into a bar with a chicken under his arm. The bartender looks over at him and says, "You can't come in here with that pig."
The man laughs and says, "This isn't a pig, it's a chicken."
The bartender replies, "I was speaking to the chicken."
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Two dumb guys were walking down the street when they noticed a dog licking his balls. The first dumb guy says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second dumb guy replies, "Maybe you should try petting him first."
2006-10-25 15:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into the bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender I'd like for me and one for the road.
A pair of jumper cables walk into the bar and the bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything!
2006-10-25 16:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by Gorilla 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Four mothers go to theropy because they were all obsessed with something. They had to bring their child.
The doctor went to the first woman and said
"You named your daughter Candy, therefore you are obsessed with sweets." then he went to the next mother and said
"You are obsessed with Alcohol, since you named your son jack Daniel." then he went to the third mother and said
"You are obsessed with money, therefore you named your daughter Penny." But before he came to the forth mother the forth mother told her son
"Let's get out of here ****."
2006-10-25 15:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
two little boys dressed up for halloween as pirates when they went up to the door the lady replied oh, oh, how darling you look , where are your buccaneers? the boys replied on the side of our buccinheads!
2006-10-25 19:28:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
what about nock nock who is their
Kate
Kate who???
Kate don't take my Popsicle
2006-10-25 22:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by lelo_cool_girl 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
HEE HEE HEE me too
2006-10-25 23:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋