A string walked into a bar and asked for a beer, The bartender told him to get lost and said " we don't serve strings" So the string went to another and another bar and kept hearing the same thing:
"we don't serve strings"
Finally his poor nerves were so frazzled, and he got himself into a twist, when he walked into another bar, the bartender scowled at him and asked "Are you a string?"
to which the string replied:
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
If athletes get "athlete's foot", what to astronauts get?
"mistletoe"
2006-10-25 16:29:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A couple decided to go to Cyprus for the weekend, but because they both worked it was hard to coordinate their diaries. So they decided the husband would go a day early, and his wife would join him the following day. On arriving, the husband thought he would email his wife from his laptop, but he accidentally mistyped her email address and sent it off without realising.
A widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends, but instead found this:
To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've Arrived!
I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. (P.S. Sure is hot down here!)
2006-10-25 18:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Pepper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha!! the frayed knot one took me a second to get but i got it!!
heres a similar one: a mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. the bartender says "sorry, we don't serve mushrooms." the mushroom replied: "why not, i'm a fungi"
2006-10-25 23:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by brookbabe90 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1 day a boy was walking home from skool. he finds a bottle and he wants to read the label so he rubs it and a genie pops out. genie says "hello...i vill grrant you 3 vishes." the boy gets really excited and accidentally pees his pants so he goes "pssssss". then genie says "yourrr first vish is...pssssssssssssssssss. your vish is grranted. every morrrning you vill go pssssssssss in yourr pants. nowww... vat vill yourr 2nd vish be???" then the boy gets very excited and starts jumping. then his pants rip. it went rrrrippp.so the genie says "yourrr 2nd vish is rrrrrrripppp. yourrrr vish is grrranted. every morrrrning yourrrr pants vill go rrrrrrriiiiiiipppp. nowww... vat vill yourr 3rd and final vish be?".then the boy is careful this time but he accidentally farts.it goes bbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuu.then genie says "yourrrr final vish is bbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuu. you vill go bbbbbuuuuuuuuu every morning." then genie disappears.so every morning the boy pees his pants and rips his pants and farts every morning for the rest of his life. the end.
2006-10-26 01:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by wendy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Haven't heard the string joke before.
Famous last words from a hitman: "Who put the violin in my violin case?"
2006-10-25 23:38:43 · answer #4 · answered by Kainoa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So a skeleton walks into a bar. He tells the bartender, "Give me a beer.... .... and a mop"
2006-10-25 23:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There were two muffins in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "It's hot in here, huh?" and the other says, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
2006-10-25 23:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by youarebummy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i luve goofy jokes. those that you said weren't the best but that's okay. i luv blonde jokes. people say i have blonde hair but i think i have brown hair. i wish i had blonde hair.
2006-10-25 23:31:43 · answer #7 · answered by Lacy L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep you were right they are goofy jokes
2006-10-26 04:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by coolchik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny and goofy with a streak of stupid
2006-10-25 23:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by Italian Girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hahahahahahahahahahaha hold on what was so funny again
2006-10-25 23:31:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋