Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

the boy had a girl freind 7 years old when he was 11.the girl said I hate you .What do you think the boy did?

2006-09-29 00:11:49 · 18 answers · asked by greendayrocksalex 2

I just do it all the time! LMAO

2006-09-28 23:53:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I thought "Vagina" was a town on the Virginia / North Carolina border.


Just kidding...you know, humor?

2006-09-28 23:42:08 · 9 answers · asked by opjames 4

a man goes to the same building every day
on a rainy day he gets the elevator to the 14th floor but on a dry day he only rides the elevator to the 10th floor and walks the other 4 floors why?
if you get it you can have the 10 points

2006-09-28 23:13:10 · 14 answers · asked by sherob1 4

give a best shot to get ten points

2006-09-28 22:50:10 · 5 answers · asked by Arial 1

1. If Fed Ex & UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil comes from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
8. Why is it called a building when it is already built?
9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several
times, does he become disoriented?
12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

2006-09-28 22:46:09 · 11 answers · asked by JayHawk 5

3 women check into a hotel for £10 each. A total of £30 paid. They all go to their rooms and are happy.

But the manager comes down and states that there is a discount of £5 when 3 seperate rooms are occupied all at once.

Immediately he gives the bell boy £5 & asks him to share it out between the 3 ladies. The bell boy using his head thinks £5 is hard to share between 3 people. As they are already happy he gives them all £1 each and pockets the other £2

Everyone remains happy but something isn't quite right. If each of the ladies have had £1 back from their £10 originally paid, they have each paid £9 for their room.

Sounds simple but then 3 x £9 = £27.

Now we know that the bell boy pocketed £2 but £27 + £2 = £29.

Originally they spent £30 on the rooms yet now there has only been £29 spent. So the question is: Where did the missing pound go?

2006-09-28 22:43:32 · 12 answers · asked by born2survive 2

----- Three Hillbillies

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze
1st Hillbilly: "My wife sure is stupid! She bought an air
conditioner."

2nd Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought
one of them new fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly: "Cause we ain't got no plummin'!"

3rd Hillbilly: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer

wifes put together!

I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some
change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies: "Well what's so dumb about that?"

3rd Hillbilly: "She ain't got no pecker.

2006-09-28 22:29:12 · 3 answers · asked by Patches 4

were standing in a rape line up. The Victim walks in and paddy steps forward and says " there she is the miserable b**ch!"



........ Please dont hate me its just a joke. Can sum people tell sum more im bord!!!!!!!

2006-09-28 22:16:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

The crab family go to the beach for the day. Baby crab goes for a swim. After 30 minutes he goes back to his mom and dad. 'Mom, can I have some chips?' Sorry son,your dad has eaten them all. He asks his dad 'Dad,can I have Some soda? Sorry son your mom drank it all. Baby crab now angry says. 'You finished everything? You pair of SHELFISH B--TARDS.

2006-09-28 22:13:41 · 20 answers · asked by kosum 3

Bored stiff got loads of frees tell me something to cheer me up.!!!

2006-09-28 22:07:42 · 21 answers · asked by kayleigh s 2

i heard pregnancy test come out negative within the first month?

2006-09-28 21:51:33 · 8 answers · asked by bonnie 2

Some come here to sit and think;
Some come here to s h i t and stink.
Others come to rub their balls;
While others come, just to want to write on walls.

thnx.

2006-09-28 21:49:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

It, to me is to have a laugh, not.'I find this insulting to both men and women' it's a joke man, poor Netherlanders.

2006-09-28 21:31:03 · 9 answers · asked by kosum 3

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a b..itch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bit....ch is seven...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitc...h is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "??????????."

Guess then!

2006-09-28 21:19:22 · 8 answers · asked by haddy1215 3

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a ***** is eight. Three plus four, that son of a ***** is seven...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a ***** is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "??????????."

Guess then!

2006-09-28 21:17:40 · 3 answers · asked by haddy1215 3

2006-09-28 21:06:26 · 2 answers · asked by clarkey 1

Switch the frogs to the opposite side within 2 minutes.
(this is a 2nd grade computer test in China)

2006-09-28 20:41:54 · 6 answers · asked by Spacyincali 1

??

2006-09-28 20:39:13 · 15 answers · asked by Matt d 2

The answer is:
stoned chicken with gang green.

2006-09-28 20:30:14 · 9 answers · asked by Labatt113 4

...or does everything (even "poody poo") taste better with a little hot sauce on it?

2006-09-28 19:49:05 · 13 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

A man goes home from the pub late and very drunk.His wife says,"okay smart ar$e. Explain the lipstick on your shirt." "Easy " he replied.."I used my shirt to wipe my co*k".

2006-09-28 19:29:08 · 17 answers · asked by marie c 1

arabic

2006-09-28 19:14:05 · 2 answers · asked by yoro 1

2006-09-28 19:08:03 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

example:
she went to the store
*4 snaps*
remember how we played the game
ready for practice
I know you see it

2006-09-28 19:07:59 · 2 answers · asked by brandicandi816 1

A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, "How many folk here believe in ghosts?"

About 80 students raise their hands. "That's a good start," says the professor, "For those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good," continues the professor, "I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response," remarks the impressed professor, "has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"Brilliant. But let me ask you one question further...

Have any of you ever been intimate with a ghost?"

One of his students from a Redneck state raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever cl

2006-09-28 18:38:40 · 10 answers · asked by haddy1215 3

It a toy she Eats, drinks, messes, talks and sings. And she seems so real

2006-09-28 18:04:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

There are many types of humor... Political, ironic, situational, corny, religious etc. Give me an example from this list or another type (But it should/must be original or with your own spin)! Best answer gets 10 pts.! Oui, oui! Better yet, you vote on it!

E.g. For being quite a giant, Shaquille can't throw a free pt./throw if his life depended on it? Ironic for an elite basketball player!

2006-09-28 18:02:57 · 11 answers · asked by Ezekiel 29 bumfuzzle~ 3

it said "McDonalds fries are better than Burger King's" it was 1 of the 10 true or false questions. lol. what would u say for the answer?

2006-09-28 17:56:00 · 16 answers · asked by .oh snap.london bridge.oh snap. 3

2006-09-28 17:44:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous