Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

one a boy ( while in preschool) asks his teacher if he may go to the bathroom

the teacher says "YOU MAY GO BUT YOU MUST SAY YOUR ABC'S FIRST"

the boy says "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQURSTVWXYZ"

the teacher says " WHAT HAPPEND TO THE LETER P"

the boy relpies " IT IS RUNNING DOWN MY PANTS"

2006-09-28 11:57:26 · 16 answers · asked by diamond_diva_1000 1

Two friends are talking.

One asks: Do you smoke after making love?

The other replies: ..... I don't know!..... I never looked!

2006-09-28 11:56:25 · 11 answers · asked by brother in Christ 1

a pair of jumper cables walk in to bar and the bartender says i"ll serve you but don't start anything

2006-09-28 11:51:54 · 11 answers · asked by diamond_diva_1000 1

2006-09-28 11:46:51 · 10 answers · asked by sweetestrose1983 2

I don't know how, but I don't mean this: <3

2006-09-28 11:39:00 · 9 answers · asked by Carly 1

and turns to a portrait of a man and says "brothers and sisters have I none, but this man's father is my father's son".


Who is the portrait of?

2006-09-28 11:07:51 · 34 answers · asked by robertbdiver 3

One Day a man is walking the beach and finds a lamp. He rubs it and out pops a Genie. The Genie says, " Thanks for letting me out of that lamp. I've been in there for 400 years. You have three wishes, what will they be?"

The man replies" I want a red 69 Convetable Mustang"
Your wish is granted. poof the car appeared
What is your next request
"I want the car filled to the brim with $100 bills!"
Your wish is granted, and the car was filled.
And your last wish sir?
"I want to be irisistable to women."

Poof, he was transformed into a candy bar!


Haha, i know it sounds better when it's said. hopefully it reads ok!

2006-09-28 11:01:57 · 17 answers · asked by ♥♥Soon to Be Mrs.F♥♥ 6

she had a urine test in the morning

2006-09-28 10:58:37 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was a blonde a and she was in front class and she wasnt sopose to be. so the flight attendent said "could you please move back to your seat?!" the blonde said "NO! im beautiful ang smart and i deserve to sit in front calss!" so the attendent goes to get the co-pilet and the co-pilat says "mam can you please move to your normal seat?" and the blonde said the same thing to him. so they go to get there captin. the captin wispers something in her year and she quickly moves back! so the flight attended and the co-pilet say "how did you make her move?" and the captin says "i said that first class wasnt going to new yourk."

2006-09-28 10:53:17 · 20 answers · asked by puplove7 2

You can even help George move here.

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

2006-09-28 10:44:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-28 10:28:48 · 19 answers · asked by huskeyhips 1

I have a "funny crap" book and i'm looking to add more to it....

2006-09-28 10:26:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

neither has anyone else

2006-09-28 10:24:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

tired of being called dumb, a blonde spent weeks and weeks learning all the capitals for every state of America. the next time someone started telling a blonde joke she said indignantly, 'hey, not all blondes are stupid you know. let me prove it. tell me the name of any state in America and I’ll tell you its capital.'
'Montana,' someone suggested
'M,' was her triumphant response

2006-09-28 10:13:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A - Almost boobs
B - Barely there
C - Can do
D - Damn Good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

2006-09-28 10:05:57 · 12 answers · asked by sylesh3 3

2006-09-28 10:04:11 · 44 answers · asked by coolpatty5 1

What relation would your father's sister's sister-in-law be to you?


now...the easy one...

how many letters are in the alphabet


you have to get both right to get the points...

2006-09-28 09:53:18 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-28 09:46:57 · 7 answers · asked by coolpatty5 1

2006-09-28 09:46:11 · 15 answers · asked by coolpatty5 1

My current favourite is....
Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!!

2006-09-28 09:39:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

There are ten men standing in a line from tallest to shortest. The man in the back can see the nine men in front of him, the next man can see eight, etc. Each man is wearing a hat that is either black or white. Each man is asked to say what color hat he is wearing, if he is correct he lives and if he is wrong he dies. The men can answer in any order they want, but can only say black or white. They are allowed to come up with a strategy before they start. What strategy should they use to ensure the maximun number of them survive.

2006-09-28 09:34:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I get light in night. dark in day. wet when sunny and dry when rain. u touch me u cant feel me. but when you dont you can feel me. u use me twice a day. who am i?

2006-09-28 09:24:24 · 7 answers · asked by lenziath 1

2006-09-28 09:19:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can someone please tell me a good joke?

2006-09-28 08:56:21 · 27 answers · asked by HEY 3

The policeman signals to a car driver to pull over to the side of the road, due to the fact that he appears to be driving erratically. He walks up to the driver and says, "You appear to have been drinking!"

The driver, answers, "No sir, I am just tired."

The policeman looks into the car and notices that the driver is a priest! He also notices that there is an empty bottle on the floor. He says to the driver, "What is, or should I say was in this bottle?

The driver answers, "Water!"

The policeman says, "No it's not, it's wine!"

The driver looks up to the heavens and says, "Hallelujah Jesus, you done it again!"

2006-09-28 08:55:49 · 13 answers · asked by missmozee 3

Who Wanna Be Irish.
Cead Me Failte

2006-09-28 08:55:07 · 5 answers · asked by rhijoa 2

After teaching his class all about roman numerals (X = 10, IX=9 and so on) the teacher asked his class to draw a single continuous line and turn IX into 6. The only stipulation the teacher made was that the pen could not be lifted from the paper until the line was complete.


the first one right gets the best answer

2006-09-28 08:51:48 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-28 08:41:18 · 42 answers · asked by kitten6444 4

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving
violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"

"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop,
"it looks like you've had quite a few.

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding
his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your
car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I
thought I'd gone deaf."

2006-09-28 08:38:44 · 10 answers · asked by butterfly 5

2006-09-28 08:35:54 · 41 answers · asked by kitten6444 4