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Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

[Selected]: All categories Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-29 02:56:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-29 02:53:57 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-29 02:52:26 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Man Never Misses Trip To Gym For 5 Years
July 29, 2002 - Florida, USA
In an attempt to force himself into a healthy routine of exercise, a Florida man hired a hit man to kill him if he failed to show up to any of his 3 weekly workouts for the past 5 years. "At first I thought the ridiculous membership fees and that ludicrous up front joining fee would make me workout so I wouldn't waste the money - but that didn't work. Within weeks I was coming up with all sorts of lame pathetic excuses not to go. So I decided that if money wouldn't promote me to go, losing my life would. The hit man idea has worked like a charm, maybe even too good. There were some times that I truly would have preferred not to go, like that time I had bronchial asthmatic pneumonia. I've never had so much dark green mucus running down my face in my life, you should have seen that treadmill afterwards. But with all its ups and downs, my only complaint lately is that what I originally thought were expensive gym fees have been over shadowed by the high cost of the hit man. Now that I want to stop, I can't because I told him to shoot me if I told him I wanted to give up."

2006-09-29 02:51:11 · 11 answers · asked by ztt_66 2

2006-09-29 02:50:49 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

They're just simple jokes, has the system ballsed up or has someone reported me? And if so has anyone had experience with contacting customers services? I'm not that bothered really, but I've just lost over 100 points which annoyed me slightly!!!

2006-09-29 02:48:32 · 11 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

Owner of Perfect House Lives in Car
September 18, 2002 - Baltimore, USA
In fear of possibly disturbing the perfection that is his house, Donald Manison has been forced to live in his 1998 Dodge Caravan. “I became obsessive, everything in the house was so photo-perfect that I was eventually scared of walking on the carpet in fear that I might disturb the direction of the carpet threads.” Magazines wanting a glimpse and photos of the perfect house were limited to viewing through opened ground floor windows. When asked how long he will continue his present lifestyle he replied, “If living in my mini-van is payment for a perfect house, I’m willing to pay

2006-09-29 02:46:16 · 10 answers · asked by ztt_66 2

gatiep and maraai (cape names) a married couple used the term washing machine whenever they wanted to make love.
one night gatiep poked maraai in the back while she was sleeping and said "washing machine" maraai turned around and told gatiep that she was too tired and turned around to sleep.
after a while she felt so bad that she turned to gatiep and said "washing machine"
"no said gatiep....it was a small load so i decided to wash it with my hand!!

did you think it was funny???????

2006-09-29 02:40:23 · 2 answers · asked by mercia b 2

2006-09-29 02:32:39 · 21 answers · asked by steve-o 2

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES - Blonde woman was
>>speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled
over by
>>a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
>>
>>The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug
>>through
>>her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it
look
>>like?" she finally asked.
>>
>>The policewoman replied, “It's square and it has your picture on it."
>>
>>The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it
>>and
>>handed it to the policewoman.
>>
>>"Here it is," she said.
>>
>>The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
>>"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop!”

2006-09-29 02:21:27 · 31 answers · asked by psychstudent 5

2006-09-29 02:11:01 · 20 answers · asked by steve-o 2

Scientific studies show that a majority of women have intelligent DNA in them, the problem is that 95% of them spit it out.

2006-09-29 02:02:13 · 14 answers · asked by Amanda T 2

Now he just tosses them off.

2006-09-29 01:53:36 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

i want a american girl to whom i marry her and spend my lifecan u finid some american women for me ?

2006-09-29 01:48:11 · 6 answers · asked by junaidx 1

2 guys go fishing on a rowboat and catches a lot of fish. End of the day smiling with content guy A says "This is great! How are we going to get the same spot next time?" Guy B "Don't worry, I've marked the boat with an x!" Guy A "You stupid! How do you know we are going to get the same boat!"

2006-09-29 01:47:24 · 12 answers · asked by zorro 2

Can you make this funny?

2006-09-29 01:42:01 · 23 answers · asked by The Stig 5

draw 9 boxes and try to fit ten horses in the 9 boxes one in each box

2006-09-29 01:41:09 · 10 answers · asked by darren v 2

Piece of Cake.

2006-09-29 01:36:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I had posted a joke yesterday under "naughty joke" and had received a good response, with majority of them appreciating the joke. But, some one has reported and to my surprise, the joke has been removed on the pretext that it is neither a question nor an answer. As could be seen, many number of jokes are posted here and some of them really brightens up our bored mood. A good team of boarders post these jokes and many get fun out of these jokes.
By what name we can call the person who has reported? Sick or Jealous?

2006-09-29 01:26:13 · 24 answers · asked by Electric 7

I wonder

2006-09-29 01:23:36 · 13 answers · asked by david 1

1

you are on an island with in the middle of a lake.the lake is in the remote part of the country and there has never been a bridge connecting the island to the mainland.every day a wagon and a tractor gives hay rides around the island. puzzled as to how the tractor had got onto the island, you ask around and find out that the tractor was not transported to the island by boat or by air.nor was it built on the island.explain how the tractor got there?

2006-09-29 01:17:40 · 14 answers · asked by liju v 2

2006-09-29 01:06:32 · 25 answers · asked by Wadey 2

hey can u guyz jz imagine what is it lyke in year 3000..... plzzzzzz..... actuali this is a project.....plzzzzzz help mi.....i can't think of many

2006-09-29 00:52:33 · 6 answers · asked by BOLE CHUDIYAN 2

0

I am living in water. When you cut my head, I became your door. When you cut my tail, I became a fruit. When you cut both, I came with you.

2006-09-29 00:32:55 · 21 answers · asked by vigneshmetals 1

2006-09-29 00:25:44 · 5 answers · asked by moolchand v 1

Or are you a genius?

2006-09-29 00:20:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or do you only like spinach?

2006-09-29 00:16:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

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